Don't understand what is going on

[borntowin]

I am in my 40's and still single. I have dated and things did not work out. I  desire a man of God, and the men I dated stated they were men of God, basically they did a good job in quoting scriptures, we prayed, and quite frankly did other things (things  that you should wait until you are married), however we are both saved, repented, did it again, until now I am just sick in tired.The men I dated  in the past have been very nice to me, the last man I dated just stop calling me. It surprised me, because I thought we were moving on into another level of our relationship. We had very few arguments, when we disagreed we were respectful of each other's opinion. It has been a month now and I have not heard from him. Heartbroken  again,

[Forum Administrator]

Hi borntowin. Welcome to Deep Waters. Albert Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. The things you have been doing have not been working for you. Stop. It's time to do something else. You cannot get God's good thing doing your own thing. Your desire is good, but your method is not working. If you want what God wants to give you, you must commit to doing things His way.  Be/become who you want to attract. If you want someone godly, be godly. If you want someone who will not compromise, don't compromise. If you want someone who is walking in purity, you walk in purity. I don't want you to be heartbroken again; God certainly doesn't want you to be heartbroken. Don't allow your age or even your perception of what others might think or say about you to pressure you into compromise.

[Xanadu012]

Dear Borntowin - I originally posted this on my blog, but it came to mind as I read your post.  The bottom line is that the Lord says He will have no other gods before Him.  This includes other relationships.  Allow the Lord to become first in EVERY area of your life and you will be surprised at the outcome.  Praise the Lord!


Longing

My heart still aches.
Even after time spent with You.
What am I missing?
Why am I still longing?

Afraid. Not of the dark,
But of what it brings.
Desires that go unfulfilled.
Longings that still remain.
Frustration gives way to tears, resentment, even anger.

Why is this off-limits to me?
Why must I continue to wait?
Is this only for a season?
Is a lifetime what I face?
How much grace does this require?
When will my perspective change?

Each day is a struggle.
Must this be so?
And my thoughts, Lord, I dare no say.
I need a word from You.

"For He satisfied the longing soul
and fills the hungry soul with good." Psalm 107:9amp


Yevette C. Gooden
5/22/04

[borntowin]

I truly thank you for your words of wisdom. During this valley experience I have to reevaluate me. This is an on going process, each time I am faced with difficulty or disappointment.  I thought I was attracting what I want in my life. I understood what you were saying. I need this me time to be focus and not distracted. I have been through so much so I must take heed that this could be God's way of getting my full attention . I will have to learn not to be so anxious and allow God to do His will and not my will. God wants me to have a relationship with Him without distractions. God knows what can easily distract me and I know what can easily distract me.

[Novelist]

I am 27 years old and feel dateless too.  In the past, I compromised myself to feel loved and accepted.  Although I still struggle with those things, I want to do things the right way.  I would ask time and time again, "Lord, why am I alone?" Why am I 27 years young and not dating? Am I attractive to men? What do they see in me?" How long will I be single?" I am afraid to be old and alone.  I go through this most times and it frustrates me.  Upon reading your post, I feel the same way.  The wrong choices of men and giving myself to them was clearly wrong! Yes, I am going through the young and the dateless moment right now and sometimes I feel bitter about love because I never had the true experience of love with a man.