Struggling Again

[Novelist]

The conviction is strong.  I committed a sin that I made a promise not to encounter until I was married.  Although I pray over this area in my life, I struggle with my feelings, sensations, and the thought of being held.  I am an emotional wreck.  I take responsibility for my actions and want to do right, yet I am entertained by these sensations.  In my heart, I want to wait on God, then I think, "Well, I am not getting younger" I feel like I am missing out on life since I do not have anyone to grow with and I know that could be the problem too.  My dependence on people are crazy.  I expect too much from others when I should not, but I revert to this behavior and I am back in a pit again.  I met this guy and we connected very well.  In the first place, I felt vulnerable and wanted to feel cherished and then it came over me.  I was in deep trouble.  Yes, I made this choice and therefore I have to live with it.  To rid these feelings, I do not know what to do, well I know what to do, it is the application that I am having trouble with.

I know that sexual sin is wrong.  To admit, I find pleasure in this and it is normal to feel this way, but it displeases God to see that his own child is committing sin against him, yet I am human with all of these emotions and feelings, what am I to do?  There are no excuses, I can take the blame because I chose to do that, but after all that, I still feel empty.  There is no water in the well.  My heart was heavier with guilt and shame.  Please pray for me and I hope to receive my deliverance soon.  I can only take one day at a time.



Novelist

[christianthought]

What exactly are you wanted to be delivered from?  Your sexual drive? 

It's not going to happen.  God made the sex drive, and called it good.  But now as Christians, we are commanded to restrain ourselves, and to die to the desires that are "normal" and "pleasureable."  I find it amazing that God commands us to do something, but the only way we can follow the command is to let Him do it through us.

I read some time ago that the sexual drive is one of the strongest drives in humans, second only to hunger.  It is interesting that in our society, both of those drives are causing us the most problems.  And interestingly enough, we cannot rebuke either of these drives; nor can we ignore them as if they don't exist.  They do, and if we are not careful, they'll motivate every action that we do. 

So the only way to get through this is to go through it.  I don't know of any other shortcut through it, and I don't know of anybody that just breezed right by it.  Any Christian without the gift of eternal celibacy, that has been single for any amount of time has had to deal with their sex drive.  The only way to deal with it is to continue to push towards the mark.  Deal with the guilt from the past, and then let it go, and keep pushing.  God promises us that He will help us, and with His help we will make it to where we are supposed to be.  Just keep pushing.

[Xanadu012]

My dear sister in Christ - A while ago I was having a conversation with a co-worker.  She was describing to me some of the "horrors" of child birth.  I was hoping that by listening to her story it would lessen my own intense desire for a family.  No such luck.  In fact it backfired and only deepened within me a need to experience for myself what she had. I left work with a heavy heart asking the Lord "why did I have to go through this?"  No answer came.  Not wanting to go home I stopped by a coffee house to vent my frustration in my journal.  It didn't help.  While driving home I was on the verge of tears.  As I walked into my home, out of habit, I turned the T.V. on.  Pastor Donnie McClurkin was on "This is your day" preparing to sing "Stand" when Pastor Benny Hinn asked him for the story behind the song.  Pastor Donnie said that he was on a red eye flight having come from ministering in another state.  He also had two more weeks of ministering before he could even go home.  While on the plane he had a "meltdown" and asked the Lord why did he have to go through this.  He asked where was his wife and children?  The Lord's response to Pastor Donnie was a series of questions.  The answer to all of which were TO STAND.
    Ephesians 6:13 says "Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand."  You must remember to DAILY put your armour on.  I also want t lave you with another scripture.  I John 5:4 which says "For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world--our faith."
     Guess what Novelist?  It's Bible study time!  You will not get through this apart from the Word of God.  Although I had read this posting a while ago I could respond, because I was experiencing the very same thing.  However, I was reminded "having done all...Stand."  This is how we are to live our lives. 
In the mean time...

[Beanie3]

Hey Novelist,

Are you surprised that you committed this sin? Don't focus so much on the fact that you fell.  The truth is, we will fall at the beginning of our struggle. Thankfully, it is struggle and we're not totally just going for the deepest depth of the sin we can achieve! Just think if the hand of God wasn't upon us! I have no doubt that I would be in a world of mess if God wasn't upon me. Even in the midst of my transgressions, my willful trespassing of God's Word, I see His mercies upon me.  I know that when I do fall, I have to look to the One who is able to keep me from falling. If you rely on yourself to keep yourself from sin, you are going to fall EVERY time.  You have to lean on Christ for ALL of your strength.  He is God IN US and His spirit is able to handle our humanity.  We GOTTA stay in prayer.