The Language of Love

[Forum Administrator]

Would you rather be "in love" or "loved?" Is there a difference? Which have you experienced most in your past/current relationship(s)?

[ReeC]

To be perfectly honest, I would love to be "in love", but being loved is most fruitful because the committment now fortifies the choice to love me.  The long desired feelings of having someone in love with you can be long term, short term or just roller-coastered in a relationship.  Certainly our emotions fluxuate depending on a number of things, but when you are committed with an intent to remain, the choice of loving someone is then the most fruitful attribute to relationship.  Knowing that you love me, solidify's the assurance that you have my best interest at heart.  It isn't so much that you understand everything about me, or like everything, but because you choose to love me, you accept me and that makes all the difference.  So, I guess to really answer your question..... I would rather be loved because it is certain that your love won't change.

[ethereal]

Being in love. What a wonderful feeling! Who doesn't want to be in love? No one I know. The thing about though is that being "in love" often confuses our thought processes. Rash decisions. Snap judgements. It's not until you can "love" while being "in love" that everything works out!  

[Gracious]

That's tough to answer, for me because I feel that both feel WONDERFUL!!!

Experience has taught me how to receive both...here's what I mean:

The manor (intensity) that I love may not be the same as another! I became freed emotionally (a spiritual weight lifted), the moment that I allowed myself to understand & accept that...people love according to their own capacity. Now, along with this freedom, came an emotional charge!!! The charge was that "I" was responsible for setting my own boundaries...what I will and will not accept in my life!!! Understanding that there are degrees of love...Godly love...I Corinthians 13...the LOVE Chapter, and temporal-fleeting-fleshly-OOOOH I LOOOVE ya' up today...can't stand ya' next week...kind of love (is that really love???)....soooo, I started setting my boundaries there.

My decision:    "...We teach people how to treat us...by our actions/reactions/our spirit..."

These days, I know how to be in love with a man (for instance), in a way that is healthy for me. And that man has also taught me how to accept his love (understanding that as similar as we are, we are different people, and will experience and express, our emotions - our feelings, differently).

I have to cop-out & say that both can be soooooooo good for us...it's hard to choose!!!  

Love Hugs,

Gracious

[bishopbiscuits]

.......Though adoration and pursuit can be very enjoyable, there always comes a need for something more substantial and "real."  
.........I would rather be loved.  Being "in love"can come too easily sometimes. Give me a lasting love that sweeps me off my feet from time to time, instead of being totally swept away, not knowing where I will land    
.........Like a long-burning flame that sparks at times while making everything warm, instead of fireworks followed by nothing. Even though fireworks are fun

[Novelist]

Love comprises of various elements, yet we recapture love as a way of cherishing and desiring to love and be loved.  Moreover, I find love as a universal term, being personalized into our own experiences, the true feelings that we carry with us for a lifetime.  My thoughts refer to love as a way of expressing affection, showing loyalty, commitment, faithfulness, and respect.  Truthfully, being loved and in love can interchange.  The difference among these two are the relationships we have depending on its closeness.  However, love is constant.  It is love itself that protrudes out of all relationships whether it is romance or plantonic.  Thoughtfully, to be loved is being cherished as to being in love, you contemplate on a level of romantic feelings which could also have the thought and affections of love.  I believe this is based on individual preference, with love in view, it must be a standard for love to be felt out of respect, loyalty, faithfulness, commitment, and unconditional.

In my past relationships, I believe that I was loved more than in love.  Being in love focuses on the romantic side of relational communication among men and women.  As for me, I have been loved, but not in love.  Although I have not been successful in neither one, I had desires of being loved and having an unconditional love which I will be able to transcend my love as a token of affection.  As for love, it transforms into many languages, with body movements, expressions, and words.  Love must transpire into more than being involvement, but have a purpose of why you are admired and admiring another.  Above all love in the world, having the love of God is greater than any love we can experience on human theory or philosophy.


With love and affection.

Novelist.