God's word on remarriage

[Regina Gray]

Hello!

Just to get the forum started.  I am divorced and have lots of questions about being able to remarry and still be right with God.  How do you reconcile the scriptures about only being able to remarry if your spouse dies?

Regina

[Forum Administrator]

Hello!

Just to get the forum started.  I am divorced and have lots of questions about being able to remarry and still be right with God.  How do you reconcile the scriptures about only being able to remarry if your spouse dies?

Regina

Hello Regina! Thank you for your question. In my book, I talk about my own struggle with this issue. When I was separated from my first husband, I became a member of a church that taught that you should not divorce and if you did divorce you could not remarry while your husband was still alive. Initially, and for several years following, because I desired to be obedient to the authority I was under, I accepted this doctrine wholeheartedly. The problem for me came when a friend and co-worker of mine asked me questions about remarriage. At first, I gave her the same teaching that I had been indoctrinated by, usually quoting Malachi 2:14 as the supporting scripture (out of context, I might add). I did not take into account the reasons that led up to her divorce and consideration of remarriage. In brief, she was a Christian, her husband was not. Her husband had an adulterous affair with their next door neighbor, brought the woman to his wife (my friend/co-worker), told her he was leaving her, and initiated divorce proceedings. My friend/co-worker did not want the divorce, but her husband was persistent and they eventually did divorce. This is just one example of the kinds of scenarios that need to be considered when dealing with issues of divorce and remarriage.

The issues of divorce and remarriage are discussed in both the Old and New Testaments. In the first scripture that speaks of divorce and remarriage (Deuteronomy 24:1-2), God (through Moses) provided instruction for a lawful/biblical divorce and permitted remarriage. In the last scripture that speaks of divorce and remarriage (1 Corinthians 7:27-28a (i.e. the first part of verse 28)), God again (through Paul) also provides instruction to the unmarried (i.e. one who was previously married and is no longer) and again permits remarriage with the understanding that the divorce was lawful/biblical. God never provides instruction that is sinful. So then, if God permitted remarriage under specific circumstances in the Old Testament and God permitted remarriage under specific circumstances in the New Testament, to say that all remarriage is a sin against God would be to clearly contradict scripture. God never contradicts Himself, He never changes, and He cannot lie. That is why we must use scripture to interpret scripture instead of relying on "the interpretation of men." The first and last passages that I quoted above must be taken into consideration when interpreting other scriptures relating to the subject of divorce/remarriage.

As I mention in my book, the subject of divorce and remarriage has become a very divisive one in the Church. But Christ has given the Church authority to mediate/provide counsel on civil matters among believers (Matthew 18:15-19), including matters concerning marriage, divorce and remarriage. God did not design marriage with divorce in mind, and neither should we approach marriage with divorce in mind. But knowing the nature of man, God provided guidelines so that the innocent cannot be taken advantage of. Counseling should be sought before considering marriage, divorce, or remarriage. There is a lot more I could say about the subjects of marriage, divorce and remarriage. But in summary, as the scriptures indicate, it is possible to remarry and be "right with God."

Resource(s) to consider: Though The Vision Tarry: Waiting For My Promised Mate (see the resource or moderators pages) chronicles my own struggle with the issues of marriage, divorce and remarriage. God gave me understanding, and He will give it to you and anyone else who truly desires to live in a manner that is pleasing to Him.

[Navy_Girl]

I, too, dealt with this issue.  The bottom line is this:  God is a God of love, with forgiveness as an inherent characteristic.  It would be inconsistent with that nature if He were so unforgiving as to disallow any other joining.

[Bro_Brown]

It depends upon the circumstances. If a widow marries in the Lord, the marriage is certainly blessed by God (1 Cor 7:39). The issue in Scripture is not whether or not God blesses second marriages, but whether or not marriage itself is honorable. That is why it is written, "Marriage IS honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but sleepermongers and adulterers God will judge" (Heb 13:4). That is the overview of the situation.
  
The general rule is that a person is married but once, to one spouse. However, there are also exceptions that are specified (Matt 19:9; 1 Cor 7:15). There are also some marriages God does not bless, whether they are the first or the second. Herod being married to his brother's wife is an example (Matt 14:3-4). The unequal yoke of a believer with an unbeliever is another (2 Cor 6:14; 1 Cor 7:39).
  
There is not single answer to the question. The answer will be based upon the situation.
 
Bro Brown