The Green Monster

[LadyU]

I have an issue with being secure in who I am. Don't get me wrong I love myself, but I am not really confident. I am always comparing myself to other women physically, materialistically, and spiritually. Most times I get jealous of others if I feel as though I have fallen short.   I am always thinking I don't have this, I don't have that, I am not smart enough, she prayed better than me, she is more anointed than me, she has her own place.  hmmm I guess I don't love myself as much as I thought.

I am praying trying to get my healing and my deliverance, but I need help!!!! Does anyone have any advice and scriptures to help me?

Oh, and I think I am depressed. How do I get over that??

[Forum Administrator]

Hello LadyU. Thank you for sharing. There are a lot of people--particularly women--who feel the way you do. One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to compare yourself to anyone. I'm going to borrow from one of my previous responses to someone who was struggling with these same issues. For the full post, please check out: Sometimes I am jealous in The Lighthouse [Singles' Issues] category.

Jealousy in the life of a believer is what happens when you are deceived into thinking that God has denied you something that is good that you believe you have a right to have. Jealousy is what deceived Eve.

Eve was feeling just fine until satan came along and deceived her into thinking that God had not given her everything that she was supposed to have. From that moment on, she started looking at things and people (including herself) differently.

God went through a lot of trouble to make you completely unique. There is no one else on this earth that is exactly like you. God has a plan and purpose that is custom-made for you.  No one else can carry out the purpose and plan God has for you. You are unique.

That being (hopefully) established, let me say this: the way you will overcome jealousy is to know that God has a specific plan for your life, and to know that He will not withhold any good thing from those who walk uprightly (Psalm 84:11).

Whenever you're struggling with jealousy, the key to overcoming it is to remind yourself about what God has said about you. That implies two things: 1) that God has said something about you (and He has); and 2) that you know (or seek to know) what it is He has said. So it is good that you have asked for some scriptures to help deal with this issue. Some scriptures that would be good to commit to memory are:

• Jeremiah 29:11 (God has plans for you
)

• Psalm 139:14 (you are fearfully and wonderfully made


• 1 Corinthians 15:10 (by the grace of God I am[/b] what I am


• Proverbs 31:30 (Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but if you fear the LORD you will be praised.)


• Philippians 2:13 (God is working in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure.)


• 2 Timothy 2:15 (study to show yourself approved unto God [God is the only person you need to try to impress]


• 1 Peter 5:6 (Humble yourself therefore under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time)


• Philippians 4:13 (you can do all things through Christ which strengthens you.)


• Philippians 4:19 (God shall supply all your need)


• Romans 12 (use your gifts. Don't try to walk in someone else's gift(s). Walk (discover, minister) in your own.)

These are just a few scriptures to get you started. If you need more, just say the word.  I want to leave you with just one more passage found in 1 Corinthians 1:

25Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

   26For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called:

   27But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;

God can and desires to use little ol' you to do great and wonderful things! 

Make a daily practice of saying what God says about you. This may be a new way for you to start looking at scripture. Look for scriptures that teach you about what/who God says you are. When self-defeating thoughts enter your mind, reaffirm yourself in the truth of what God says about you.

Re: depression, please check out HELP! HELP! PLEASE LORD HELP! in the Undercurrents [Womens' Issues] category. Also review Managing Your Depression (Until You Get Help) in the Catch of the Day section. If you need to talk about this specific issue some more, please let us know.

[Novelist]

LadyU,

I am one of the recipients of jealousy as well.  At times, I feel depressed, lonely, or even desperate.  When you were describing your issue, it quickly made me think of how clueless women are to the beauty, unique, and strength that we are.  Along the way, I have lost my own identity because I had my focus on others' achievements and successes.  I would always say, "What about me?" or "Why does it have to be her instead of me?"  Life brings interesting challenges especially with women like us.  We want to be beautiful, successful, have the best physique, best looking men, and have it all together for ourselves.  Honestly, this is a fight, we are at war.  In many sermons, the word went forth, the messenger said some things that made me think about my life and relationship with Christ, then after everything is said, I go back to square one again.

I am trying to get out of this hole myself.  It is so hard and that's why I feel your pain too.  With me, I have affection and sympathy where another woman hurts, I can feel her pain because I have been there, going there, or right there.  It grieves me to hear about depression, jealousy, and all the sadness that we feel inside because we deserve better.  You deserve better.  The Forum Administrator recited some wonderful scriptures for us to read, remember, and apply.  This is what we need to do along with other women.  It is not over.  Somehow, we have to win this or else we will reside in this place.  Do you want to live here?  I don't.  Even if I am not healed today, or delivered tomorrow, I know that my change and your change must come. 

Even our tears that we cry, must go.  Let it all out! Sometimes, you have to cry to release all the burdens you feel, the hurt and anguish.  I know this place of isolation and depression, because I visit there frequently, but I want to go to a new place.  A place of happiness and wholeness in Christ.  Do you want to go there?  I appreciate deep waters for their spiritual guidance, the real sincerity that is shared.  The Administrators are awesome to me.  LadyU, let's encourage each other.  Keep each other in prayer.  I can relate to your story because I have the same as well.


Hugs and blessings,


Novelist.