What Is Love To You?

[Sunshine]

      Is'nt it funny how everyone longs to be in-love or to be loved when love is the most complicated emotion that one can feel? Love can feel so good at times then at others it can be the most painful feeling on earth. Have you ever heard the saying, "Love makes you do crazy things?" People do strange things to be loved or just the experience of being loved ,but in the end we all end up longing for love again.
     My question is when we pray and ask God to send us someone that loves us; do we really know what we are asking for? I know that I use to go to bed every night crying asking God to just send me someone that can love me for who I am, not for what I have or what they think that they can get from me sexually. You know, that kind of unconditional love that we get from God, whom loves us despite of our short comings, despite of our sins, despite of our mistakes, despite of our disobedience, no matter how we look, no matter what others think of us, what they say about us, GOD STILL CARES!
     God loves us even if we are lost and blinded by the world. God loves us with all of our imperfections and handicaps, he still cares. The sad thing about this is we search all of our lives for a love such as the love that God has for us, but we will never find it, unless it comes from him. I was praying and asking God for something that he was already giving me. Although I was praying and asking God to send me someone to love me unconditionally, but I was not acknowledging the love that he was giving me.
     How can I be loved my someone else when I did not even realize the greatest love there is? So when I was praying for love did I really know what I was praying for? Did I know what I wanted out of love?

THE QUESTION IS: DO I REALLY KNOW WHAT LOVE IS?

What is love? How can we feel something and not know what it is exactly that we are feeling. So many of us are so quick to use the word without really understanding what it is that we are saying.

So my question to everyone that reads this post is:


WHAT IS LOVE TO YOU?

PLEASE REPLY!!!!

[bishopbiscuits]

  .........To me, I know that I am loved when someone else's love is a reflection of God's love for me.
.......... I think about the characteristics of love, like in I Corinthians 13, and I John 4:18. When I  see these qualities show in how someone esteems and shows care towards me, I feel loved.

Love:
..........is longsuffering and kind
..........is not envious
..........is not given to increase the "image" of the giver; is not puffed up
..........is unselfish
..........is not easily provoked
..........thinks no evil
..........does not find joy in wickedness
..........rejoices in the truth
..........bears all things; it never fails
..........has hope
PERFECT LOVE CASTS OUT FEAR

Seeing these traits over time is how I perceive love. You cannot show all of them to someone unless you truly value them.

As far as the question, "DO I REALLY KNOW WHAT LOVE IS?" , the answer is "Do you know God?' God is love. ( I john 4:8   ;   I John 4:7-21 show some of God's demonstrations and nature of His love towards us.)

[Sunshine]

Bishopbiscuits,

     I would apologize for not making myself clear in "What Is Love To You." I know without a doubt who Jesus Christ is and I believe that you must know who he is to even feel and reep the benifits of love. The question that I was attempting to ask readers is how can the love that humans how you even compare to the goodness and the great love that Christ shows us everyday. I wanted to hear their opinion as to what they thought that "fleshly" (for the lack of a better word) love is.

As always I am greatful for your reply.

God Bless-     Sunshine

[David Dupree]

 "The question that I was attempting to ask readers is how can the love that humans how you even compare to the goodness and the great love that Christ shows us everyday. I wanted to hear their opinion as to what they thought that "fleshly" (for the lack of a better word) love is."

Hi Sunshine,

I think that your reply hits on a very important concept that is so overwhelmingly missed.  The love that Christ shows us everyday is the love that we are to exhibit as that "fleshly" love.  It is the lack of understanding of love that causes most people to mistake other things such as lust or like as love. 

I believe that when one really contemplate BB's response to you, it is clear that he included the "fleshly" love in his response.  If you keep God's love, God's expressions of love, God's idea of love at the forefront of any pursuits of love, then the common mistakes "in the name of love" will not occur. 

Therefore, I believe your request was clear.  Your understanding of BB's response was not. 

The world has a keen way of attempting to get "the church" to acclimate to the way it is.  We as a body of believers have to be careful to uphold the standards that God has put forth and not be "conformed to this world." 

So if you feel like it is love and it isn't lining up with God's idea...then "flee youthful lusts."  No compromise.   Waiting and Patience in waiting are worth it.  You must have the faith to believe that simple statement. 

Be blessed.

dd

[bishopbiscuits]

Thank you for clarifying,  Sunshine


There are four Greek words used to define love:  eros, storge, philia, and agape.

Eros is the basest form of love. Eros love is human/sensual love (i.e. appeals to our senses). It is often referred to as sexual love (i.e. erotica). Eros love basically says, I love you because you please me or make me happy. This kind of love gives (usually as little as possible) in order to get. This is a selfish kind of love. Unfortunately, this is the kind of love that a lot of relationships are based on. It is possible for eros love to grow to a higher/deeper level if properly cultivated. Eros has it's place as a form or basis of initial (superficial) attraction between a man and woman. But in order for a relationship to last and be fulfilling, it must grow beyond eros love. Eros is superficial love.

*** For more on the four kinds of love, visit the topic "What's your take on this?" in the  Undercurrents (women's issues) area  ***

........I know that I have had my fair share of infatuations/crushes, starting around five years old. But,  God's kind of love, His agape love, has very different qualities:

Agape love is the highest form of love. This is the biblical love that God requires of us. It is an act of the will. Agape love is completely unselfish in nature. It does not give to get; it gives in the best interest of the one loved. Agape love is unconditional. It is demonstrated by giving not what a person wants, but what a person needs. Agape love is the basis of the marital relationship as God ordained it. Agape love is purposeful commitment to sacrificial action. Agape is sacrificial love.

...........Though eros love may be  associated at times with random lusts (desires everywhere and in everything), agape love is given with a purpose/ vision  (more focused, unselfish; not subject to every whim).
............We may find it easier to operate in an eros level of love for a time, but our need for the agape kind of love  never goes away. Through study and appreciation of God's love for us, and checking our motives, we can learn to love like He does.
.............The main difference is that God sees our need, and knows our hearts and minds, and is above the limitations that we have. We are limited by our level of awareness. We  are always working our way through to understanding ourselves and others. We are working through our individual ideas, perceptions, issues, and passions. Learning what we truly need and should want for ourselves and others.   

.... *** One thing to be aware of: eros love is not the same as lust. We are partly physical beings with physical responses, created by God. We are not robots, and don't need to act like we don't have physical perceptions and desires, even as Christians. (Discretion is a better way to approach them, though).
............Lust itself is pure selfishness trying to ride in and drive your desires. Any kind of desire. It seeks only to fulfil itself, and as much as you allow it to, will burn through every resource and area of your life until you are consumed. And to preserve itself, it will welcome lies, deception, confusion, whatever comes handy. All to build itself a stronghold, or "safe place" , so it can continue its viral mission.
...........Sexual lust is like pure selfishness hooking into your physical desires. Trying to find ways to kick God's plan and even your plans out of the driver's seat, leading to who knows where.
............Because eros love is superficial, it can easily be driven by lust, if we are not careful. It needs other kinds of love and wisdom with it to give it direction. ***

For some feedback on a similar topic, Check out these two topics in the Undercurrents [Women's issues] area: "When to say I love you?"  and "What's your take on this?" 


Hope it helps                              BB

[bishopbiscuits]

P.S.  Here is a simple way to think of love itself. Love is a choice to value something or someone worthy of repeated attention and affection.(intervals of display may vary) And for the sake of the connection to commit resources according to what you find desirable, reasonable and necessary. The features or qualities behind this choice determine what kind of love it is. 

[Lotusblossom]

LOVE?  What I do know is... Love takes everything, when you have nothing left to give.  It makes you go that extra mile, when your flesh wars against it.  Love though it holds closes to us, by giving it away, seems to return with great measure.  I know that I am at my best when I Love!  I think Love must work hand in hand with our Gifting.  We are taught God is Love, but when do we call on God most?  When we are suffering, panic, hopeless and lost. Not to just say thank you for loving me, or I love you for giving me grace, showing me mercy each day.

I have found that I am loving even when I have not made a conscious effort.  I think Love is a surrendering to one's soul. I don't particulary feel loved by most I've encounter, but I do know when it is pure and without hidden motives, this I have experienced from several people in my life both strangers and friends. I seem to have a deep ground for love, its natural, though by instinct we are creatures of habit and quick to protect ourselves.  I have come to learned in growing up and walking through my life, it is out of my difficulties, adversities, and hard times I have learned to Love more.  Which could of had adverse effects like, doing the opposite, but God spared me.  I cannot say I love all people, or that I am never angry, and disappointed by people, I human like anyone else, I just recognize the reality, and move forward.  It seems to be who I am.  I've learned to embrace it and ask God to give me wisdom as face my challenges. In opening yourself up to Loving can also bring people into your life who are takers.  This is true in our families, relationships, friendships, work place relationships and so on.  I am trying to learn how to guard my heart and not allow those things to ruin what I think is one of my best qualities.  Love comes with a price, its called sacrifice, putting aside self for the greater good of its purpose. [God's Love]

Love isn't easy to always give when someone has hurt you, betray you, or is unkind.  We live in a world where people don't seem to care about each other.  It's sad to see the downfall of marriages today.  I think to myself us single people have no future.  What makes a person stand before the lord vowing to Love and Honor, and the night before you cheat with someone in the bridal party.  How do people say they Love their spouses, but abuse their children and emotionally tear each other a part.  How do people stand face to face knowing they have hidden demons that can destroy a marriage, like being homosexual or self infliciting hate.  These are issues we as young america face today. How do we take today's issues and build upon them with Love? How do we begin to rebuild? if no one else has  integrity, Why do we bother?

I am confused by the mixed messages of Love, yet in my heart I still think as though it is, meaning:  I will keep loving because for me, it feels sincere when I Love, I feel better knowing I chose to love, and that I have shown those people in my life I love them.  Tha doesn't mean I don't want things in this world to change, or that I will just be a dumpsite for people to unleash their trash, no, not the case. Its doesn't ignore the facts that life, love and happiness seems to be a thing of the past.  It simply means I am willing to hold on to the faith that somehow THIS TRUTH is bigger than what I can see with my eyes.  I think love is still alive!  I know God still Loves us! Most people probably was starved of love, and so it has harden them to the point they feel like its pointless, I have been in those shoes too, but rest assure Love isn't easy for anyone.  We all have challenges and healing we must do to regain our trust in Love.  I know for me, I can't do this alone, I need God to guide me. I try to make it a practice to not take my judgments of one person, and place it on another, because by doing that I am not able to give that person a chance to Love me or be loved and once again we lose out on its precious gift.

Just some thoughts as I was reading some of your thoughts about Love.  Thanks for sharing.  Perhaps, we will all learn something before its all said and done, Smile!

So to whomever receives this little message , I hope that you will began to find love in yourself first, and start to seek hope, knowing that his promise is divine and perfect, and we need Love! 
Thank you for listening.