I'M TIRED

[deelee]

I've been married for almost 15 years and I don't know if I can make it any longer. I wish I had known about my husbands financial situation before hand, I was honest about mine, which wasn't good. As time has gone on things have gotten worse. We're down to one child still at home(the 2 from his 1st marriage are grown and on there own). We argue about everything and it seems to be no end. He says he's tried and I have been tried for a long time (something we both agree on   . I sitting here and I feel so lost for words, I thought I had everything I wanted to say straight and now I feel like dont know what I'm doing writting on a message board. Please pray for me and my family.

[ethereal]

I know what that's like. When you feel as though you've done all that you can do and are beyond your breaking point. I will say this to you: it takes 2 to argue. Apparently, your husband can push your buttons, as you can push his. Why not get rid of the buttons? No buttons, no buttons to push! I HAD TO adopt this mind set in regards to my now ex-wife. See, if you allow someone to drag you into the muck, they will. You should just try to do the very opposite of what you would normally do. When things begin to get heated, retreat. I don't mean that you become a doormat, you just refuse to entertain that spirit. If you make a decision (a made up mind is your strongest weapon) that you will not argue and fight anymore, then you won't. God will strengthen b/c the peace that you are making (not keeping) is glorifying Him. Start there and you will probably see your way through some of the other issues. Before I end, I do want to send a prayer up for you: Father, your child is in distress. you said that you would perfect that which concerns her. Father, we are reminded ourselves or your word, reminding ourselves that your Word will never fail, it will never return to you void. Lord, we know that you honor those that seek to honor you, glorify you by clinging ever closer to you in our times of trouble. Be your daughter's shelter in this storm and we thank you IN ADVANCE for bringing her and her husband out of this turbulence. It is in the matchless, all powerful name of your son Jesus that we pray, AMEN AND AMEN!

[deelee]

ethereal thank you sooo much. He sent me an email at work to let me know that as a new christian he is struggling. It is wonderful to know that we have a place with other christians to help us. Stay blessed.  

[David Dupree]

Hi Deelee.

I am so glad that you are encouraged from ethereal's advice.  I would like to add a couple things.  Your reply answered a question for me.  You stated that your husband is a newly saved? (I am assuming that you are not newly saved and have been saved for some time) I hope that you realize that nothing disturbs the enemy more that having a person walking or close to walking in his/her purpose.  You two have been one in marriage for 15 years.  Now, with your husband making Jesus his choice, you two have become one all over again.  The Bible says "can two walk together except they be agreed?" You must know that your union has become a target for the enemy now that you are in spiritual agreement.  
     Therefore, you must not let "issues" consume you. Know that it is deeper than the surface.  Sure the issues are real.  But they are just masks for the deeper issue...which is that satan wants to ultimately destroy your relationship.   The issues you can work out.  
     And come on...you are 15 years deep into this married.  You may not have gotten to where you wish to be financially. Or you may not be where your friends believe you should be financially.  But as long as you two are working toward the same goal, ignore the naysayers.  They don't live with you.  God doesn't talk to ALL of them with a Word for you.  For we know that all things work together for the good of them who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.  I am not glad about your financial situation.  However, you may be enduring this so that you can help other young couples who end up in similar situation.  
     Finally, you both need to sit down and prioritize your financial goals and work on them-one at a time.  And watch God work in your relationship.  
     It is not in the Bible, but the song said "ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough," etc etc.  Then another song said, "I thank God for the mountains, I thank God for the valleys, I thank Him for the storms He's brought me through.  If I never had a problem, I wouldn't know that God can solve them, I would never know what faith in God could do...but Through it all...."
     As a postscript, agree in prayer concerning your relationship.  Ask God for a refreshing.  Also look at your initial statement.  You meant to say he's tired, I'm tired.  But you said he's tried and I'm tried.  Some would say it is a typo.  Other's would say it is a freudian slip or something like that.  I say it is God's intervention, allowing you to speak trying instead of tiring.  I suggest you do what you spoke!  TRY.  Nothing beats a failure but a try.

dd

[deelee]

dd, you are so right on a number of things. After thinkng about what I wrote and what I wanted to say,and also talking with my husband after we both prayed. I know that GOD has wonderful things in store for us. I pray that GOD gives me strength and more compassion. This is a growing expreince for both of us.  "I know who holds the tomorrow and who holds my hand". Sometimes we allow outside things to get in our way and cloud our thinking.  I am so thankful to a very good friend who directed me to this board. May GOD richly bless you and all connected with this board, because it is surely needed. We all fall short sometimes.
Thanks so much.  

[Rodney]

Dear "I'M TIRED",

Hold my hands.   Father, in the precious name of Jesus, though I am late responding to this email, you Lord are Omnipresent and was always there, even 15 years ago when your daughter thought she would have a healthy marriage. Now I submit to you her deep rooted pain and despair. Please Father touch her in a way that will allow her to think and act in peace instead of pain so that she can do the right thing concernig her situation. I pray for her husband's emptiness, and that you would begin to fill his heart with The Love of Christ, that he may start to love his wife as he is instructed to do in the Word. I ask for peace in their home and The Holy Angels to surround their home while you begin to work a miracle in their marriage.

What is 15 years to you Lord, make them heal as if it were 15 days. Allow then to remember the days when marriage was sweet. Allow then to remember the holy vow, for surely it has come to worst. I speak gentleness and kindness when they talk to one another on an everyday basis. Please send  Financial & Administration Angels to begin the process of clearing up the mess that was made in their finances. Show then a pathway out and a light unto their feet so they can walk out. Bless them to the point that they will never experience money problems again. Bless her husband with a spirit of honesty that he will not be deceiving about any issue. Bless him with the knowledge that he is the head of his family and must protect at all cost and must not let them fall into divorce. Whatever kept him from being honest in the beginning, heal that area even now in Jesus name. Touch the child that is still at home, that the arguments won't affect him/her in the future. I pray for a miracle concernig their finances. I pray for communication that would usher healing between them both. I pray for mental strength for them both to handle the process of getting out of this deep debt. I thank you my Lord with love as I know that even as I type, you are yet answering thier prayer.

Finally my Lord, give them a purpose as to why they must heal and remain married, for nothing is too hard for you, nothing.

satan, I bind you and your angels by the authority of Jesus Christ and by The Blood of Christ to permemently leave this family alone. I remind you that Hell fire is waitng on you as you harass this family. Get your hands off them" NOW"! in Jesus Name.

                        ROLL UP YOUR SLEEVES

1. Come up with a simple plan(the two of you) by listing  your bills from the smallest to the largest, and start paying them off in that fashion

2. Whomever is better with the handling of money must take over and be manager(both must agree)

3. Re-educating yourself about money is imperative as it relates to resstructuring your view of money. We have to de-program bad habits, and put in good-healthy habits so they won't reoccur in the future. My wife and I love the two of you and will continue to pray of you.

Sincerely, Rodney

[deelee]

Rodeny thank you so much. What a wonderful prayer. After first coming to this board GOD has blessed us so much,( we have been reminded to be thinkful for the small things).
Stay Blessed in the LORD