Deep Waters Relationship Advice

As I child, I was loved tremendously by my mother and her side of the family.  Though my father lived in the house, he was not affectionate and did not have a relationship with me.  I saw alot of what happened between he and my mother; the abuse, the infidelity, the disrespect.  Now as a woman, I dont know how to take compliments or gifts from a man.  I dont like "mushy" stuff.  I find it difficult to trust men, even my pastor (rare occassion). I am afraid to get married because of what I saw in my household as a child.  I have not been in a romantic relationship for almost 4 years because of this. How do I break down these walls and learn to love and be loved again?

It is very insightful of you to make the connection back to your father. Our earthly fathers are the first representation of the image of God that we see. They are also the first representation of men that we see. When that image or representation is distorted, it distorts our image of God and of other men.

When I was in college, I met a young lady who was the apple of her father's eye--he adored her!  He let her know how much he loved her and how special she was to him. He filled her with compliments and affirmations of who she was. He gave her such a sense of security. When she said 'thank you' to compliments received from others, she was simply reaffirming what she already believed to be true about herself because her father had already told her.

Here is what your Heavenly Father is telling you about His love for you.The love God has for you is never conditional (Romans 5:8 ). God's love for you is not based on anything you do. He loves you whether you love Him back or not. He loves you even when you're at your worst. The love God has for you will never change because God will never change (Malachi 3:6). You can depend on Him. You can trust Him. This is where your security is. The love God has for you will never end. God's love for you is everlasting (Jeremiah 31:3). God knew you and loved you before you were born, and His love is eternal. When you recognize and fully accept the love God has for you, it will not be such a frightening prospect to open yourself up to others because you will know that you will always be loved by God.

The Bible is full of affirmations of God's love for you and His affirmations of who you are. You are the apple of your Heavenly Father's eye. Receive the love that your Heavenly Father has for you. It is in that love that you will find the security that you need in order to open yourself up to be fully loved by someone else. Just remember that you are indeed your Daddy's--that is, your Heavenly Father's--Girl.  

My responses to the following postings (in this same category) may also be helpful:
fear of something new

Letting go of the hurt and pain

that was BEAUTIFUL! and something i must always remember thank you!