CAN' T HANDLE IT!!!

[ANewDay]

Hello it's me again, still hoping for that new day.  Well where shall I start the adultery in my marriage is taken a toll on us. My husband has committed adultery and I have too. Don't get the wrong understanding I was not a cheater but my husband has had so many affairs on me that I just did it. And I regret all of it.
I cut mines off in Nov. and at the same time I found out that my husband was haven
one. Well we both are wrong and I never wanted to hurt him but I did it because I felt I had no choice since I knew that he continued to be unfaithful to me in the pass. He do not know about my affair I can not hurt him like that and plus I might loose him forever and I don't want to. There is another issue a baby could be on the way. My husband told me about the young lady could be pregnant and I don't know what to do.  I'm I wrong for been so hard on him and why do I feel so hurt when I know I did the same thing... Please help i'm so confused.  Because I can't stand the though of someone else with a child by my husband, that my job, and that's my husband.

[sagesong]

I will pray for you and your husband.   An adulterous spirit is operating in your marriage.   The only ay you can survive and move forward in a healthy relations is through prayer, mediatation and surrender.   You must be willing to surrender all including your marriage to God.   

[David Dupree]

Hi ANEWDAY, 

Sorry to take so long in responding to your post.  And let me apologize in advance if I sound cliche' ish throughout this response.  I don't want to, but sometimes, it is the repetition that helps things soak in. 

Anewday, what you need to do most of all is Keep your Focus!  The Bible admonishes us to think on whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.  Phil. 4:8 

Being in a situation where you messed up, your husband messed up and you are now faced with the prospect of having an 18 year reminder, you have to have focus!  You have to RE-focus.

Focus on God.  If you keep your eyes on God, even as Peter kept his eyes on Jesus to walk on the water, when the winds of change and derision come upon you, you will be able to maintain because God will SEE you through it all. 

Focus on your marriage.  You are in covenant, not only with your husband, but with God.  Therefore, focus on keeping your marriage intact.  God will honor your efforts AND your husband's efforts.  Yes, you both have broken covenant.  But that doesn't mean you can't put some duct tape on it to keep it together while the glue reseals the breaks.  What does that mean?  The potter had a vessel that was defective.  Sometimes the vessel has to be remelted and smelted, remolded and shaped and then put in the fire before it becomes the vessel that God, I mean, the potter intended.  Allow God to lead you both into how to reestablish your covenant with one another and with Him.

Focus on yourself.  You cannot, unfortunately, control your husbands actions.  But you can control/change yours.  Remember, you have a God to answer to for the things that you do! Yes, I understand that women are programmed to be responders, replicators, incubators and as such have a natural proclivity to return or boomerang that which they receive.  However, a mature and maturing Christian will work to overcome those proclivities when they do not line up with the Word of God.  Allow the Holy Spirit to give you a spirit check to determine if an action you "feel" is okay meets the Word test--does it give God glory; does it reflect the example of Jesus; is it something you don't mind being caught doing if Jesus should return while you are in the process. (to name a few)

Focus on your words.  What are you saying?  Are you speaking life to your situation?  Or are you pronouncing doom and gloom to the possibilities of your situation surviving the storms of life.   Your words even in this post said "...I did it because I felt I had no choice..."  You may think it is small, but that statement plants some serious negative seeds into your psyche; seeds which can grow wildly.  Don't tell yourself you are confused.  Tell yourself that you have been transformed by the renewing of your mind and you have the mind of Christ about every situation.  Don't tell yourself that you can't stand the thought of someone else with a child by your husband.  Tell yourself that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.  Tell yourself that you are more than a conqueror.  Tell yourself that you are healed from every situation that wants to make you sick.

Where is your focus?  Wherever you find you focus, you will find your future.  I pray you survive these attacks and the coming hardships that seek to keep you sidetracked from the ministry that God wants to pull out of you.  I look forward to your progress reports. :-)

ddupree

[ANewDay]

Tha's for your words of encourgement i will speak life into my situatuion no matter how rough the storm gets.  Please continue to pray for  me .


A new day is coming