Disagreeing with a perticular vision

[david1982]

I see that J&K are moderators here and I wanted to ask a question. My "significant" other has joined their "ministry" and has ended the relationship unless I "covert" to their ministry. Because I disagree with their "vision" does not put me "under the control of satan". I have wanted to post on their site, but all I see is the way the trash men for their opinions or if they do not agree with their "direction". Their advise to her was to, and I quote "get as much money as possible and give him as little visitation as you can". Doesn't this seem to be less than Christlike? I have had brief conversations with J and all I found was a defensive person. They have falsely accused me of horrible things without provication. All I see is "buy, buy, buy" and opinions from scorned women. I believe this site is great for helping women move on from their marriages, but saving them?? My question is this: Does this forum agree that their "vision" is the only way to save a relationship? Also, once one person in the relationship dives head first into this "ministry", how does the other person save their relationship without giving up their religious beliefs and guidance from their church/pastor?

[David Dupree]

Welcome David1982 to Deepwaters. 

As you probably have read in our literature, we attempt to provide sound Biblically based answers to relationship issues.  Along with that, we have attempted to prayerfully surround this site with moderators who will follow this vision and do the same. 

Personally, I am not well acquainted with J & K's site.  I am aware of and have read the book that they authored which has been a blessing to many and from what I understand has helped many marriages.  In their responses provided on the Deepwaters site, I am not aware of them trashing anyone and if I recall, they have provided Biblically-based or at least Biblically foundational answers to the situations posed to them. 

(As you can probably tell from the posts on our site, it is heavily dominated by women as I would believe most sites of this nature are. That is just how things are in the world.  Men are less apt to post on sites like these than women.)

Although we do attempt to provide answers to all posts, I do not feel at liberty to comment on another's "vision" for their ministry.  I wasn't there when God (or self) spoke to them concerning their ministry.  I have never attended their church or seen a video of their services.

As to your personal question, you say this person is a "significant other."  You don't say this person is your spouse.  I see no need for those in a non-marital relationship to belong to the same ministry.  However, the Bible says, "can two walk together unless they be agreed?"  Amos 3:3.  At the same time, you don't want to be unequally yoked.  There are some basic things that you should agree on as you prepare for a lifetime together.  Compromise shouldn't be by ultimatum or coercion, it should be by love.  At the same time, I believe that "non-negotiables" have their place.  There should be standards.  There should be personal vision.  As the old saying goes, "if you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything."  Therefore, if committing to this ministry is a non-negotiable for her, then you have some decisions to make. 

It sounds like to me though that the both of you need to sit down and examine the ministries you both are a part of.  Examine why you are holding on to your beliefs.  Examine why she joined another ministry.  Examine why she would keep you if you join, but dump you if you don't.  (by the way, this examination should be done separately before being done jointly)   

Whatever you do, remember to do it in love.  I would encourage you to read the amplified version of I Corinthians 13:4-8.

ddupree

[sagesong]

Take your concerns to God concerning the mother of your child(ren) and her faith walk.   Let God lead and guide you to all truths.   Whether you are married or not, she is the mother of your child(ren).  Where she goes, they will go also.  It is and should be important to you that they are sitting under sound Biblical counsel. 

Be prayerful, patient and loving in all your ways toward her.  Trust God to work out the details in and through you.