Workplace Relationships

[Novelist]

Hello Deep Waters,

I have been away for while, but I am returning with another post for the first time in weeks.  I am not sure if I am in the right forum, but I wanted to state some concerns with working relationships because sometimes we are affected by things on the job and I think this would be a wonderful way to express how we feel about careers, challenges, duties, and dealing with co-workers.  For one, I am placed at a job where I am unhappy, but I have to be here until I can find something better.  What is bad about this is that I have been going through personal issues that included the fact that I am unhappy here and one of the managers noticed it.  I was honest with her about some of my stresses and how hard it is to focus, but in my heart I do not mean to do this.  I asked God to give me his strength to endure this job because it is transparent of my feelings toward it.  Another issue is that I do not like one of my job duties and it annoys me with a passion.  It is an everyday challenge because it is tedious, time-consuming, and I feel like I am in a dead end.  I communicate with one of the brokers who is over this project, but I do not like working with him.  It is tough for me to take all of this in, so what should I do?  I know that I need to pray and ask God for strength, yet I am human and my mind is torn by the fact of being in this position.

This is very much an humbling experience because I am not enjoying my career at all.  I was blessed to have a job, that is not the issue.  It is the type of job.  I am a receptionist and one of many duties are answering phones, which I do not like most times, but I have to do it.  Somehow with me not liking my position, it shows through my phone voice and I know I have to fake it, well I am learning how to because I do not want to answer phones.  What are your outlooks on this situation?  What can I do to endure through this humanly speaking?  The career I desire seem far fetched because I want to do something in the Entertainment Industry such as writing, editing, or doing some production, but I am stagnant.

[1EagleSky]

Hi Novelist,

I just thought of something...Have you considered taking courses in TV production through your local cable access network? My sister did it and the price was really affordable. Also, she got to meet a local news anchor as well as some screenwriters from California who were trying to get their script out to one of the major film companies. Usually, the classes are offered over the weekend. Give it some consideration....You never know what may happen!

I can relate to the job situation, but the best thing I can tell you is to give it your very best each day and trust God to open doors for you towards the career you truly desire.

[bishopbiscuits]

Howdy Novelist    ,

...........I can relate to some of what you are going through.

............Back in the late 90's, I worked at a major department store. I was a good worker, and provided good service, even earned special recognition awards.
...........The store manager sought to encourage me to try selling the company's credit to our walk-in customers full-time. (We all were required to get people to apply for the card, regardless of what department we worked in anyway.)
..........I resisted the idea, but when hours were reduced after Christmas, I changed my mind, and tried a change from menswear dept to credit dept.
...........In theory, it sounded good because of the commission possibilities. But, when I didn't like it, the store manager would not let me switch back, even though my production of applications was poor.
..........I was frustrated to no end. I even skipped some days ( don't do this though ) Torn between work I did not like and wanting to honor God in my work, I submitted a prayer request at church for patience. After that, the choice was on me to operate in the patience that I had received by faith.

......Tough situations force us to choose how we will handle the stress. And what we choose to hold onto in the midst of the situation helps to determine what state we are in once we get out. Because we  often go through a process of letting go of and taking on. Letting go of what we don't want or value highly, and taking on what we believe will hope us to cope and/or to stand in the midst.
.........I chose to take it as a challenge. I formed my determination based on the things I refused to compromise.  I refused to be beaten by this challenge, I refused to dishonor God in my work, and I refused to let my peace be compromised.
.........To carry that out, I had to let go of trying to meet unrealistic expectations. I had to let go of pleasing everyone, and look at what should be reasonably be expected of me, based on my job and what I could bring to it.
........Being prayerful, and having songs of praise with me through the day helped. The biggest thing that helped me though was choosing to operate as much as I could in a spirit of thanksgiving.

..........I am not talking about a grumbling, half-hearted thank you, done as some token of appreciation. I am talking about a thank you that is linked to your hope -active expectation of and in Christ.
..........I am talking about a thank you that is a statement of resolve to move towards your victory. Make room for thanksgiving. Make time for thanksgiving-based prayer.
.........True thanksgiving displaces toxic resentment. It takes up and uses space that used to be for unending complaints. It can fill your heart to the point that excuses and reasons to accept less than the best from God -in the midst of some  discomfort- fall short of robbing you of your joy!


..........In my case a short test period in a job I really could not get into in the beginning lasted 8 months before I was moved back to menswear. ( by then, the manager who kept me there was gone.) I was determined to do what I could do, give my best, and thank my way through the demands of the job.
..........I desired by faith to seek the best each day had to offer.   Fighting through the uneasy moments to be dutiful. With an "I know I can" attitude, I came back from every challenge.
..........I may have had to say my various pitches for the card application thousands of times more than I wanted. But, I was able to respect my latter effort and myself for not giving up unnecessarily.

.......... This situation is not forever!! Set the stage for your next step with a fresh appreciation of Christ. He can help you find the spiritual, internal peace that will help you weather this storm.    

[Novelist]

I appreciate your insight and sharing your experience.  Career paths are not easy sometimes.  A few years ago, I thought about what I wanted to do, but discovered it was not for me.  I started out as a psychology major, changed to information technology, then business administration.  I fluctuated from one major to another in college and now what can I show for it, other than my degree?  I am grateful for my tenacity to complete college.  My biggest issue is what to do with my degree?  I am a business major, but in the end, I do not anything to show for it.  With all of my heart, I want to make a difference and bring something to the table, but what is it?  This is where I am contemplating.  I know that I am good with children, but I did not want to be a teacher, although I have done some teaching in the past as a tutor, a lesson specialist, and summer camp counselor. 

What I may do and meet with a career advisor and see what I can discover from there, but in a sense, I know what I was born to do.  Anything that has to do with writing and creativity are targets, but I need to know some specifics.  I will check this out and see what happens.  Thank you for your advice.  I am making steps to take updated computer courses and I plan to take entertainment industry classes soon.  Hopefully this summer.


-Novelist.

[Shulamitegrl]

I was about to start a new topic until i saw this one. I'm so glad Novelist started this!

I've been away from Deep Waters for a while now but I couldn't think of any where else to seek prayer and counsel.

I won't re-hash what everyone has already said. I'll just request your prayers and any words of encouragement. I've been going around in circles about job/employment/God's will for my life since about 1991. The Lord impressed upon me to relocate and I did so last yr. But once again I'm in a dead end job where people take advantage of you, threaten your livelyhood, shift the blame and responsibilty on those who have integrity and don't like to see things poorly done.

I'm exhausted with this whole process of sending out resumes, trying to request time off without being questioned about why I need to leave early, going on the 1st, 2nd and final 3rd interview to only get those letters in the mail saying "we've chosen another candidate."  I know God is setting things up for me and it's just a matter of time but honestly, i don't have the strength to endure another season of this...especially being away from my family and their direct support.

I just want for once to truly trust the Lord to order my steps, not cry myself to sleep tonight but to really have faith and let God handle this. I don't want the stress and anxiety. I just want to walk in the confidence that the Lord is my portion and in Him I can cast all my cares. But all day today, I kept thinking about 'how much longer Lord'...? Thanks for your prayers.

[David Dupree]

Hi, Shulamitegrl

  I applaud you on your obedience in your move.  Now I encourage you to continue in your obedience.  I admonish you to realize that you are in that place where you are to be a light...a city set upon a hill.  There are times that we have to be that lighthouse to lead others..even if only by example.  You may not know the good that you are doing just by your presence.  But you have to walk in that Kingdom confidence that you walk in ordered steps, therefore your being at that job has Kingdom purpose. 

Even Paul left Titus in Crete for a purpose: 
Titus 1:5
For this cause left I thee in Crete, that thou shouldest set in order the things that are wanting, and ordain elders in every city, as I had appointed thee:....

So until God moves you, stay in Crete, because Crete needs you!  The sooner you embrace Crete and finish your assignment there, the sooner one of those resume's will get the attention of your next assignment.      As the songwriter says, "It's not about us, but it's about Jesus!"  Even though you  are going through, remember God's just using you; the battle is not yours but it's the Lord's.

ddupree

[Novelist]

I recently started a new job and having issues with some of the women there.  Most of them seem to be full of arrogance and unwelcoming attitudes toward me.  Although I have previous office experience, it is always a new venture to learn about new companies and their culture.  I met the CEO and she is nice, but the other women except a couple are not nice.  For one, I have my hang ups with criticism because I want to do a good job and when I make mistakes, little or much, I feel bad enough.  I am the Front Desk Receptionist and I am working along with the Office Manager who was doing the majority of what I am doing.  She has been helpful at times with learning certain things, but now she is beginning to annoy me because it makes me feel as if she does not trust what I can do.  One day, I accidently placed the wrong fax on the wrong desk and the woman became upset and was getting on her for this since she was training me.  I felt bad.  Another incident was when she was teaching me the mailing system, which is very very complicated and confusing! I did not open one of the lady's mail and she made a big deal about not opening her mail.  It is hard for me to deal with certain situations because I do not want to become stressed out and move on to another job.  I want to grow and hopefully gain more experience, but some of the attitudes around the office is dreading.  I am trying to make the best of everything, yet another situation comes up and someone is complaining about me doing something, even if I did not realize it was wrong.  I did not come in there knowing it all, so why are they so hard on me? Another issue is their mailing system.  It is very confusing and made a proposition to do something differently, but they are not open for change.  It is very multifaceted and confusing when it could be easier and more efficient.  I was working on deposits and one of the ladies came to me and said, "You should try to check the fax machine because you don't want to her their mouth." I thought to myself, "I need to get these deposits done, how can you expect me to do this if deposits are priority?" It was not a big deal to my Supervisor, it was the other women making a big deal about it because she knew I was trying to complete I disagreeignment.  If someone is expecting an important fax, why can't they come and see about it? I do not have a problem with checking the fax throughout the day, but why is it a big deal if I am working on an important assignment that my Supervisor has given me? She claimed it was a suggestion, but I don't think it was her intentions.  For some reason, the men in the workplace are much nicer and easier to talk to, but we only have small talk, just to chat about the weather or the weekend.  It is nothing like that. The women on the other hand, have major issues and can be arrogant at times.

I am not trying to make this a big problem, but the attitudes along with it, does not make it easy.  I know I have to work on my stress management, yet I do not want anyone crucifying me for making small mistakes.  It is tough to receive criticism and I am working on this. I am doing the best I can to to learn everything and gradually get to know everyone, but I don't want to stress out either.   I need help.

[bishopbiscuits]

  Happy New Year !! 

Dear Novelist,

............Making the adjustment to a new job can be an unpredictable test of one's heart and mind. The demands and requests made by others (seemingly everyone ) and trying to develop professional understandings of who you work with can be spiritually, mentally, and physically challenging.
...........I changed positions several times in the same company, and each time I went from the comfort zone of what I knew well, to being a "rookie", it came with some moments of frustration. Even with people I knew by name, working directly with them was a different experience from working around them.
...........The questions that you must know/learn the answer for are:
1. Who are you?
2. What do you bring to the job?
3. Who is in direct authority over you?
4. What are the limits of your workplace responsibility/accountability? Primary,secondary, tertiary priorities? 
5. What's your strategy to bring all of these things into agreement?

............The first question is about awareness of your character and personality.

On the character side:
.            Who and what do you represent? What are your standards? What is your will in facing the challenges before you? What are you determined to accomplish?

............On the personality side, you have to be aware of and manage your feelings. Your feelings will definitely help you sense your job environment and how it affects you. However, your feelings don't tell the whole story.
..........So:
A.Difficulties do not mean upcoming defeat.
B. Mistakes just reveal room for improvement: Improve then.
C. Watch your words. Avoid lashing out at co-workers ( especially the ones that get on your nerves). Words once spoken cannot be taken back. Rather, be prayerful and speak words of faith to yourself and your situation. If you grow without waivering within yourself, the confidence that you have in you will begin to be shared by others.
D. You have to deal with any frustration, fear, and confusion without starting any workplace habits that become a source of bitterness.
E. Personality clashes happen. Don't get caught up in them. Refocus on your purpose in being there, and do your best.

2. What do you bring to the job?
.....You have stated that you have done office work before, so you have some experience to draw from. Find ways to adapt what you know to where you are. A good attitude is great to bring with you.

3. Who is in direct authority over you?

......There may be other people of influence, but the input that matters most comes from those who have direct accountability for your work. Don't try to defend yourself to everyone else. 

4. What are the limits of your workplace responsibility/accountability? Primary,secondary, tertiary priorities?
.......Knowing and balancing the priorities of your position will take a little time, so be patient with yourself. First things firt, second things second and third things third..etc. Don't over commit yourself. Be careful of random people involving you in tasks that are not specifically your responsibility. Your manager can help you with seeing the order of priorities.

5. What's your strategy to bring all of these things into agreement?

......Your faith, intellect, attitude, personality and your experience combined with quality input from those who can teach you can be a great combination. Perfection of action is hard to come by. A perfect attitude and the ability to persevere through any "growing pains" will determine how you are once the rookie time is past.

Philippians 4:13  I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Romans 5:3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
4. And patience, experience; and experience, hope:

Romans 8:37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

.........Being "more than a conqueror" does not mean that we overwhelm or run right over every obstacle. But, I believe it does mean that we have the ability to reach a place of growth where many situations that once would be a source of defeat,  readily become places of victory. 
.........Set the tone for your day with prayer. Listen to praise music before you go to work. A song in your heart can help your perspective regardless of how a day seems to be going. Sow into yourself and your work good seed, and watch it grow.
.........March on with a praise before you. 
............Congratulations on the new job. 

[Novelist]

Bishopbiscuits,

Thank you for sharing your wisdom and giving spiritual advice toward these issues.  I will apply these principles and especially say a prayer to start my day and keep a praise in my heart, which I have tried before and then other things would start happening again and that's where I would get frustrated again.  It will take work and discipline, but I will get through the best way I know how with God's help.

[anotomy]

 People who get in trouble at work are generally those who engage in workplace gossip and complain endlessly with co-workers.  You have established yourself as a professional, now you need to set an example of professional behavior.  Avoid getting involved in petty discussions and if you find yourself in the situation, try to steer the conversation into a more positive direction.  You can be friendly with people and even engage in friendly conversations, but try not to get entrenched in other people's problems.  This can suck up valuable work time and keep you from accomplishing your goals.
Guard your privacy.  Over time, you will become close to certain people with whom you work.  There's no avoiding that.  From time to time, you will be invited to lunch, company functions and even a night out after work.  Socializing with co-workers is a great way to foster teamwork and an important part of business life.  But while you socialize, you also need to remember to keep a balance between your private and your work life.