HELP! HELP! PLEASE LORD HELP!

[purity]

(Sighing) Where do I start? Okay first I'll give thanks to the Lord that I am STILL here and in my right mind. This struggle I am facing right now goes w/o saying b/c it shows up all over my face. I am hurting very badly to the point in which suicidal thoughts ring in my ear daily. I am in NO WAY going to commit suicide but I share that to help you understand how serious this struggle is for me.

What's my struggle? Depression and its NO JOKE!!!! Its not walk in the park. Its more like a walk in the wilderness with lions, tigers and bears all trying to rip your head off at once. BUT GOD!!!!  He has kept me, sustained me and He's going to HEAL ME!!!! I know He is.

Knowing there is purpose behind everything we go through it just doesn't seem like I can hold on long enough to let the purpose manifest. Don't get me wrong I want to LIVE LIFE and live the one the Lord has ordained for me but............ I have this pain in the inside that seems like it won't go away. I want to trust the Lord for my healing but the pain between the moment I decide to trust and my actual healing taking place seems greater than the pain I am already experience. However I do know that if I don't start somewhere I will never be whole or complete IN JESUS.

(Sighing) I don't normally share this b/c I don't think people understand and although some say they do I can tell by how they react after I share it that they really don't. I think it scares them that this depression thing is as heavy on my life as it is. I have been struggling with depression for 6 years.  When my doctor first tried to tell me I overlooked it thinking God will work this out. Only thing I never placed myself in His total care for him to begin the process. I NEVER SURRENDERED ALL! So for the 1st couple of years I was been walking around with this wonderful façade on, packing on and packing on top of unresolved issues that I never even ask for. I felt like since I didn't ask for them I didn't have to deal with them. It's like some days I feel like I can take this thing and then other days I feel so defeated.

I KNOW LIFE and DEATH are in the power of the tongue so trust me I do speak things that be not at though they were but I AM STILL HURTING. I speak LIFE to my spirit and soul and I speak DEATH to this depression that wants to take over my life causing me to have NO LIFE at all! So I'm trying. But it feels like trying just isn't enough.

Every now and then I need to hear a testimony from someone who has been where I am to let me know God has not forgotten me and to let me know I WILL LIVE AND NOT DIE because they have. But no one shares their story (what ever it may be). You hear people saying all the time, "you have to go through some things to get to some things" but those who are in the "TO" place seem like it's never been rough for them so when you go through they looking at you like "why you tripping, get over it" when it's really not that easy. The bible says we overcome by our testimony and by the blood of the lamb. I believe this helps others to overcome also who might be in great tribulation..... by the sharing of ones testimony but nobody's sharing these days. So how can I believe God if I cant see His work in others? By FAITH right?

Sorry if this seems to have come out all mixed up but I have so much on my heart that when it comes I just let it out in which ever direction it comes. I don't really have any friends in which I can confide in so coming to "deep waters"  was all I could think of. And it has helped. I feel a little better. THANK YOU LORD!

My subject is: HELP! HELP! PLEASE LORD HELP! (shaking my head) I KNOW HE WILL!!!!  

Purity isn't just my username its what I want to be in ALL areas of my life. So I'm doing my best to trust in the ONE who's able to do exceeding abundantly above all I can ask or think...according to the POWER that works in ME.

So I guess I gotta work the POWER He has given me huh?

Thanks for reading!!!  

[Forum Administrator]

Hello purity. Thank you so much for sharing what you're going through. God is at work right now to get you to a place of wholeness. Help is on the way!

God addresses the needs of the whole person. Whether your needs manifest themselves in the body, the mind, the emotions, or the spirit, He wants to make you completely whole. Depression causes suffering, pain and distress in all of these areas. In order to be free from depression, each area needs to be explored and addressed. It is a process.

Two things are required in order to bring about change in your situation: courage and help. You will need courage to commit to this process, and you will need help and support to deal with those unresolved issues and get to the root causes of your depression, whatever the cause(s) may be.

God has given you everything you need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3) and that includes the people who are equipped in various ways to bring healing into your areas of need. Everything that has happened in your life, God is both aware of, and has made provision for. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28 ). This depression is one of those "things."

You have chosen an appropriate username: purity. In order to become pure in all areas, the impurities will need to be purged out. It's a process. If you have the courage to commit to the process, we will assist you in getting the help that you need. Are you ready?

Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
- Isaiah 41:10

[purity]

Thank You so much for responding to my post.  

YES! YES! YES! I am ready. Ready, ready, ready. I am sitting at my desk listening to Dorinda Clark-Cole's song "I am still here". And I know this is by the grace of God! I know God is about to do a NEW WORK in me. No, I can not change anything that has happened to me in the past but what I can do it what Paul did. Forget those things that are behind and PRESS!!!! So this is what I am trying to do.

God is forcing me to accept and move past some issues in my life that have cause me great stress and that I have ignored for so many years (and I'm not even that old  )..... I'm in my early 20's).  And this depression thing is one of them. Its just very painful. Just a minute ago I was sitting here thinking and I thought about the scene in the movie of the "Passion of Christ" when Jesus was walking up the hill carrying the cross. And I remembered the scripture in which Paul says he wants to know Christ even in his suffering.

Thats me!!!!!

Right now I am carrying this depression thing up the hill, it hurts, I'm tired, for the life of my I dont understand why I gotta do it but like Jesus said in the garden "YOUR WILL LORD"...thy will be done.

So when I get to the top of the hill I will crucify this depression so I can be resurrected back to LIFE and LIFE more abundantly!!!! YES LORD~

So to answer your question. YES I AM READY! I have come to far.....cant turn back now.

I gotta a testimony to share,
Purity

ps...you made me think when you said something about my username. Thats so true.

May the blessings of the Lord be rich to your life. You have been a blessing to me. Thanks!

[Forum Administrator]

Let the healing process begin!   I have sent you a personal instant message (and email) with some contact information and additional instructions. (To access the instant message, after you login, look where it says: "Hello, purity, you have # messages;" click on the number that you see before the word 'messages' and you will view your personal instant message.)

Now that you have committed to the process, truth will be one of your greatest resources. You will need to be completely honest with those who are positioned to help you in order to make this process effective. The truth is key to your freedom.

Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, and in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom.

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.
- Psalm 51:6; John 8:32

Love = doing what's in the best interest of another. Surround yourself with people who love you and are willing to encourage you in this process. You will be able to identify these people because they will be the ones who encourage you to seek the truth that will bring about postive change in your life.

To all those who will read this post, let us bear purity up in prayer and encourage her as she goes through this process.  

[casims]

Purity,

You are not alone, my sister.  Because I too am suffering from Depression.  That those thoughts ring my ear daily too. It hurts so much at times.  I'm in tears as I write to you.   I know the Lord too and I realiize that it has been only by his grace and mercy that he has kept me. I'm being struggling with this longer than you.  I'm not even sure the timeframe any longer. I attend church, I mediate on his word day and night and there are some good day and bad too.  I guess I have been a weak soul all my life and Satan and his demons know which buttons to push.  But I am so tired of this feeling- I don't know how to explain this to my friends and family--I feel so shame all the times. Such a failure.  Reading your testimony is like telling my life story.  I hope we can keep in touch and pray that deep waters can help me too.  I'm so tired of hurting.

Because I am ready to be delivered---this time for good.
God bless you.

Your sister in Christ,
CS

[Forum Administrator]

Purity,

You are not alone, my sister.  Because I too am suffering from Depression.  That those thoughts ring my ear daily too. It hurts so much at times.  I'm in tears as I write to you.   I know the Lord too and I realiize that it has been only by his grace and mercy that he has kept me. I'm being struggling with this longer than you.  I'm not even sure the timeframe any longer. I attend church, I mediate on his word day and night and there are some good day and bad too.  I guess I have been a weak soul all my life and Satan and his demons know which buttons to push.  But I am so tired of this feeling- I don't know how to explain this to my friends and family--I feel so shame all the times. Such a failure.  Reading your testimony is like telling my life story.  I hope we can keep in touch and pray that deep waters can help me too.  I'm so tired of hurting.

Because I am ready to be delivered---this time for good.
God bless you.

Your sister in Christ,
CS

Hello casims. Thanks for sharing. No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it. (1 Corinthians 10:13). You are not alone.

You have no cause to be ashamed any more than a person who has been robbed of something precious has cause to be ashamed. You have been robbed of a quality of life and well-being that is yours by right to have. But God specializes in the lost and found and He will help you to reclaim what is rightfully yours.

I have posted some information about the subject of depression in both the School of Fish [Life Issues Affecting Relationships] and the Catch of the Day categories. Please review this information. If you need additional resources or would like to be referred for counsel, please respond to this post, contact me via email (administrator@deepwaters.info) or send me a private message in the forum.

Shame is an enemy that keeps you silent, and silence keeps you in bondage. You have dealt a blow to your enemy today by sharing in Deep Waters.

[purity]

Hi Casims!!!! I hope your day is BLESSED and full of the PEACE OF GOD! I am so glad you had the courage and strength to share your testimony! SO GLAD! You are not alone...I am here for you. I understand what you mean when you say you can't share it with friends. I understand totally. For a long time I felt that way but the more I hid it the worse it got and that's why it has caused me tremendous hurt and pain as it has. BUT NO MORE for me or for YOU. We bind and rebuke the spirit of depression that tries to take over our mind, we cast it back into the pits of hell and we loose Jesus joy, peace, healing, deliverance and all those things the Lord has gives unto us to be WHOLE! I am agreeing with you that you will be healed.

As one wise woman told me a few days ago WALK IN IT! You can add me to your network of support because I AM HERE FOR YOU!!!!

Deep water/ Ms. Dupree thank you so much for this outlet. I feel healing taking place even as I type this posting. We never know what can come out of our sharing. I just thank God for you being a vessel and the vision He has given you for this site. Its more than just another website. I know this for sure ;)Thanks for the help and for the oppurtunity to share!!!

To all of the other women who may be experiencing what Casims and I are expereing to you I say also WALK IN YOUR HEALING! God is no respector of person....He's going to heal you, Casims and me!!! GLORY!!!!  

[casims]

Hi Purity,

Thanks for your words of encouragement.  And I am binding these demons in the name of Jesus.  Because the Devil/Satan is a liar.  Victory is mines!!!!
Praise to the Almight God.  He is worthy to be praised.!!
Glory!!!! GLory to His name.

Hallelujah Hallelujah

[Terri McFaddin]

Regarding severe depression here are my following suggestions.

1.  Because depression affects every part of your being, you must treat every part of your being.

2.  Have a complete physical exam including blood work to determine if you have some type of hormonal imbalance or thyroid problem, etc.

3.  If there is no physical reason for your depression, I strongly recommend to you see a psychiatrist or a psychologist.  If you had a tooth ache you would not be ashamed to go to the dentist.  If you have an emotional problem you shouldn't be embarrassed to see a psychiatrist.  

4.  If you need to take medication to control your depression know that certain drugs may not agree with your system.  Don't stop taking the medicine. Keep making adjustments until you find the right dose.

5.  With the help of prayer and spiritual counseling, ask the Lord to show you the "real" reason for your depression.

6.  If you are angry, bitter, hurt or refuse to forgive someone, or suffered a great loss, it can result in depression.  

7. If you are feeling guilty and blame yourself for something that went wrong.  Confess your sins and the Lord will be faithful to forgive you and cleanse you of "all" unrighteousness.  Somewhere in the maze of life experiences lies the root of your depression, find the reason - deal with it and be healed.

Blessings, Terri McFaddin

[Kecia Sims]

Blessings to all!

Purity, first of all I want to tell you that I admire you for your openess and willingness to deal with your issue.

You are definately preparing yourself for a miracle and a healing!  

In Luke 6:17-19 you'll read about a multitude of people who dropped what they were doing to get to Jesus.  The bible says, they had many different issues and diseases but they were going to hear Jesus and be healed.  The KJV even says they were "vexed with unclean spirits".  These people had serious issues!  I'm sure there were some battling depression in that group.  And just like I admire them for their press and their faith to get to Jesus to be healed, Purity, I admire you for your press.

The miracle and the blessing in the text relates to you as well.  Verse 19 tells us that Jesus healed them all!  God is a God of totality and when He delivers He does it all the way.  Be encouraged, seek to touch Jesus and do all that is necessary to receive and walk in your deliverance/healing.

Many blessings,
Kecia

For reading purposes:
Luke 6:17-19  " And he came down with them, and stood in the plain, and the company of his disciples, and a great multitude of people out of all Judaea and Jerusalem, and from the sea coast of Tyre and Sidon, which came to hear him, and to be healed of their diseases; And they that were vexed with unclean spirits: and they were healed.  And the whole multitude sought to touch him: for there went virtue out of him, and healed them all."

[Navy_Girl]

Thanks to Sister McFadden for the reminder to get a medical check-up.  Depression can indeed be caused by- or have-a chemical imbalance component.  For some reason, we focus on the spiritual part, and ignore the physiological and the physical part.  We are not a group of separate, unrelated parts.  We are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Connected.  If you need to take medications, do not hesitate.  Would you tell a diabetic not to take insulin?  Diabetes has a chemical imbalance.  So does a lot of depression.  Get counseling, take medications, exercise, pray, eat right.  Attention to all areas will help you get better.
You can sign me- "Been there!!"
Navy Girl, previously diagnosed with clinical depression.