Deep Waters: Trust Issues

[Forum Administrator]

For those of us who have watched as much of the nation commemorates the life and legacy of Ronald Reagan, we cannot help but take note of the honor given to his wife Nancy for being a faithful and trustworthy spouse, loyal to her husband until the very end. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all be worthy of the honor of being deemed faithful and trustworthy? Sadly, that is not always the case.

Recently, there have been several posts in Deep Waters that deal with infidelity in marriage. How do we deal with issues of trust, or more specifically, broken trust in our relationships? How do we recover from the staggering blows of (the many forms of) unfaithfulness? There is hope for recovery, but only if one or both of the people involved in the relationship is willing to anchor his or herself to a more sure foundation of trust: trust in God. Trust in God should be the foundation of a Christian relationship. To build on this foundation is to build on a foundation that will never change regardless of what is happening in our relationships with one another.

There is a difference between faith in God and trust in God. Our faith in God is based on what God has said. Our trust in God is based on who God is. Faith is built on trust because if we do not believe that God is who He says He is, how can we believe in what He has said? Faith we can have in varying degrees. We can have no faith, mustard seed faith, little faith, great faith, "Lord, I believe but help my unbelief" faith, or mountain-moving faith. Trust: you either have or you don't. There is no gray area in trust. Just as truth with a little bit of a lie is not truth, trust with a little bit of doubt or suspicion is not trust.

There is also a difference between trusting God and trusting another human being. The trust that we have in our relationships with one another is very important, but the trust that we have in our relationship with God is even more important. When we trust one another, we trust believing that the potential and likelihood for faithfulness is there, but understanding that there is a possibility of fallibility. The fact of the matter is that we are indeed capable of being untrustworthy... but God is not. He cannot lie, He will not change, and He remains faithful even when we are unfaithful.

Trust is vital to the good success of a relationship. It allows us to feel secure and gives us hope. When we trust, we do not feel suspicious or threatened; we are able to believe the best. We build trust based on our expectancy of the one with whom we are involved to be faithful. We must be faithful to the integrity of our relationships: not only sexual integrity, but also the integrity of our word, our financial matters, our actions in and towards our relationship, and even our very thoughts. The building and maintenance of trust should be a consistent goal in our relationships, and if trust has been broken, a consistent commitment to faithfulness over time will be required in order to regain that trust.

Let us build our relationships in such a way that we believe the best. But should faith fail, and trust in one another be broken, let our trust in God remain. This kind of trust is not contingent upon the actions of the ones with whom we are involved here on earth; it is contingent upon God who is, and always will be, trustworthy. It is upon this foundation--our trust in God--that we are ultimately able to recover and rebuild in spite of our circumstances.

Aleathea Dupree is the author of Though The Vision Tarry: Waiting For My Promised Mate and the Administrator for the Deep Waters website/forum. Copyright © 2004. All Rights Reserved. For permission to reprint, please contact: administrator@deepwaters.info.

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