The Intimacy Equation

[bishopbiscuits]

.........Sometimes we are so busy maintaining our "lives" that we don't do proper maintenace of our "self". We are spirit, soul/mind, and body. We must respect and learn about ourselves through God's eyes in each of these areas. We might avoid some of the "Ooops!" ,  when we let God help us take care of the "Ops." (operations)

(this started as a reply to 'friends with opposite sex' that, when finished, didn't seem to fit the original topic, as far as the stated questions.)

........Being real with you, there was a time when I was younger, when I would become inwardly jealous if a female friend of mine that was dear to me "suddenly" had a boyfriend. I had to prayerfully look at why I felt that way. 
.........Did I want things both ways? A friend with "potential" just waiting in the wings?  That would not be fair. That would not be right. That would be selfish.
........I was out of touch with my needs, but very  much in tune with what I thought I wanted. This was a recipe for disaster, and it took some hard reality and crying and time in prayer for me to see me as I was.
.........Sometimes we let ourselves get confused. Intimacy of the mind, physical intimacy, and spiritual intimacy are not interchangeable. In other words, you cannot replace one with the other and get the best results.
.........Being created as creatures of worship, we have a need and a capability to make a very unique connection and investment through communing with God. But, if we let ourselves get sidetracked by the pursuit of what we see or desire in a relationship or mate, we can end up worshipping them, in a sense.
......Here's the catch. If we give people the place that God should have, we also unknowingly hold them to standards/expectations that only God can meet.  This can cause much disappointment and strife.
........Intimacy of the mind (intellect, and emotions; will) is something else that we desire. To be challenged , fascinated, inspired, enriched, enlightened, encouraged, and agreeable may be considered aspects of the this type of connection.
........Why does the Word speak of the need for the renewing of our minds? Because the mind is the processing, storage, and communication center for information. What information we receive, how we break it down, and how we decide to act or be affected. The switchboard.
......  By His Spirit and His Word, God must be involved in the day to day operations of our minds. His design for you will fit better than any design we can make up. Because then, in day to day life He can teach, correct, and encourage us. Enabling us to operate in His will, and in truth.
........There is a place and purpose for physical intimacy. Many forms that are not involved in sexual stimulation  can exist in a platonic relationship.
......A parental embrace. the shoulder of a friend. kiss on the cheek from grandma.
......But there can be a temptation to treat physical intimacy and contact as  a cure all for ego, self esteem; a validation, an escape or a balm for a troubled mind, hurting heart and eager body.  If physical contact is becoming or becomes "the answer" watch out!
.........Trying to put any one of these forms of intimacy in the other's place creates an imbalance. They each have their place and can operate in peace with one another. We need the personal revelation of God to help us establish "balance." 

.......The combinations to each of our hearts is unique. The better balanced the individuals are in a freindship, the greater the possibility of having a friendship with  communicated, accepted , realistic, and healthy booundaries. 

What do you think?   

[Novelist]

Intimacy relates to closeness, desires, dealing with physical, spiritual, mental, and social aspects of life.  As you have described, we are busy living the life, but we are not taking inventory of what we need to do.  Created as worshippers of God, oftentimes, we begin to worship other things such as money, people, cars, our jobs, friends, and even romantic relationships.  Intimacy is apart of communing with God and giving him our attention, however, I can honestly share that I have not always given my intimate time with God.  Instead, I spent my time with other people who cannot do the things that God can do for me and more.  In the end, I was disappointed and that is true about intimacy with God.  My relationship with God must be solely based on him alone and not into what others can do for me.  Also, getting into physical intimacy has brought some imbalance in my life as well because I wanted to fill voids in my life for the wrong reasons.  This is why intimacy must begin from within and with God.  I am learning to allow God to do his work in me intimately so that I can become closer to him in my walk. 

Novelist.