The Benefits of Waiting...

[Jubile]

Greetings!

This is my first time posting, but wanted to say that I LOVE this website.  I would like clarification on abstaining from sex before marriage.  Of course my beliefs are to wait as God has instructed us to do; however, I am always sort of riduculed by others with "that is crazy", "no man will ever marry you unless he has had a "test drive" and a person must know what they are getting before marriage - what if you aren't compatible.

The other conversation that comes up is "well, my uncle, brother, sister, friend or mother had sex before marriage, and their marriage is fine.  I hope this is making sense and I hope that you will be able to shed some light on this growing topic.  There are MILLIONS of benefits I know.

Thank you!


Jubile

[Breathedonme]

Greetings and welcome!

Sex before marriage may have been okay for your relatives, but that isn't the real question or point here, at least in my perspective.

The real question is what does God have to say about premarital sex?  What does God expect of you?

When that is said and done, the other stuff really ain't dat important (LOL).  God tells us to abstain from sex prior to marriage, and then when we marry to have sex only with one's spouse.  Bottom line!  (smile)

My desire is to please the Father.  I don't do it well all of the time, my goal is to attain pleasing Him more and more each day.  I want God to say, "Well done thou good and faithful servant . . . "  Not only that, there are benefits here on Earth when we are obedient and faithful to God!  OH YES!!!  What good thing would He withhold from them who walk uprightly before Him?  He knows the plans that He has for you . . . plans of good and not evil . . . to give you an expected end!  My my my -- yeah personally I don't care how many people can get over doing something contrary to the Word, I want to get it right according to the Word as best I can. 

LOL

The marriage bed is undefiled, says the Word of God.  There is a reason for that -- you and your spouse can do your thang and it is blessed of the Lord.

However, I believe that God, with His infinite wisdom, knew that when we give of our temples we create bonds that are hard to break.  Marriage is such a sacred oath between a couple and God.  Wouldn't one want that union and a sexual relationship sanctioned and blessed by Big Daddy?

Anyway -- I KNOW you are right on point! 

Just my 2 cents (smile)!

[Forum Administrator]

Hello Jubile and thanks for posting. I'm sure you will get other responses to this post, so I'll jump in (and out) briefly. My sister, (assuming all is in working order) if you have a v-a-g-i-n-a and he has a p-e-n-i-s, you will be compatible!  (I'm spelling out the words so that the editor does not censor them.) There is a misconception... no, a flat out lie that has been deceiving many for a long, long time. One of the mistakes that we can make as we enter into our marital sexual relationships is to presume that we know all that we need to know about pleasuring our partner because we have "experience." Wrong! The mistake a lot of people make who have been sexually involved with other people is to treat their spouse sexually the way they've treated all of their other partners. BIG MISTAKE! Your body is unique and there is a joy and progressive satisfaction that comes from learning how to please your mate and how to be pleased sexually. Folks want all the fireworks right away and usually end up with a fizzle and a foul odor afterwards. Another truth is this: what pleases you "today" may not please you "tomorrow" because your body (and his) is/will be changing. So the sexual relationship should be a constant and continual learning experience. Most people settle for kindergarten sexual relationships when they could have masters and PhDs. (Anyway, I could go on and on...)

What some people might label as "incompatibility" even in marriage, is nothing more than selfishness (i.e. I do what feels good to me -- usually quickly  ), ignorance (i.e. he/she does not have a clue about what pleasures his/her spouse and has no desire to learn), and impatience (i.e. not taking the time to 1) consider the other person's needs,  desires, and satisfaction above your own; and 2) not taking the time to learn how to meet those needs and desires in order to bring satisfaction).

Someone might say, well, I don't need to be married to experience all of this. NOTHING beats the joy and anticipation of waiting to be with the one you love until you are in a relationship that is sanctioned in such a way that leaves you with no guilt or shame. NOTHING beats being with someone who is so committed to you he is willing to become one with you in every sense of the word. NOTHING beats the honor and tremendous gift that you present to (yourself and) the one who you have waited to give yourself to (and vice versa). Trying you out (like a used car or a shoe) is not what God has in mind for you (or any of us--male or female). You deserve and should require better than that.

When you do it God's way, you get God's blessing. When you do it God's way, you get God's approval. When you do it God's way, you get God's anointing to please your mate in a way that no one else can. When you do it God's way, you do it in God's presence and it becomes an act of worship, and in His presence there IS fullness of joy!  

"Compatibility" should never be an issue for the believer. God is not saying 'no' to sexual satisfaction: He is saying 'yes'... but He says 'yes' only as you enter into it in a manner that pleases and honors Him (and protects you). God is the Author of sexual pleasure and the Creator of our bodies. If you want to experience true sexual intimacy and satisfaction, follow His instructions.

Other people? The only people that know what's really going on in a marriage are the ones who are in the marriage. 'Fine' is a relative term. When it comes up again in conversation, just let folks know that you don't want your marriage and sexual relationship to be "fine;" you want it to be blessed! 

P.S. I guess I wasn't so brief after all! 

[Monica Brown]

Greetings My Sister in the name of Jesus:

I would like to start off by quoting from the Word, 1Thess 4:3 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from forniation.
1Corinthians 6:9-10 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inhert the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
Nor thieves, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inhert the kingdom of God.
This is the benefit of waiting!!!!!!!!!!!
No matter what we think or how we feel the only thing that matters is what does Gods WORD say about it.

God Bless You,
Evangelist MB

[Jubile]

Praise God!!!

I thank you all tremendously!!!  Man of the things that you ministered to me, I know.  But the pressures and sometimes stupidity of "self" has caused me to let me mind wander into the "well, if they did it, it's o.k.  BUT I cannot allow myself to be compared to people who have not been CHOSEN by God.  I have, and I have more of a commitment to Our Father because of that.  I am at such a crucial stage/point and my life so I am careful when these things come up.  Before I would have tried to deal with these issues on my own, which 9 times out of 10 - ended up being dealt with by my FLESH!!!  Obedience is better than sacrifice.  One of the other things that stand out is, what person is really going to be honest and say "my marriage isn't all that great, I wish I had waited to commune with my husband our wife.  When you have friends and family who have already proceeded you in marriage, they are quick to point out your flaws instead of the reality of what they are dealing with.

Because the world continues on a daily basis to try to force "sex", sexual acts, etc. down our throats, it has even reached a lot of Christian people with "I have needs, this must be o.k.".  We also take on the "if I fall (into sin, sex and other), God is faithful and just and will forgive me!  That is also a lie.  We may have been able to "sing that song" before we had wisdom.

God is the JOY of my life, and I am grateful that unlike times before - I can seek direction and input even in my weakess and most confused moments.  I want to - no I will walk down the aisle, presentable and acceptable unto my Lord and Savior  - Jesus Christ.  No more guilt and shame - just pure bliss and blessings that can only come from God.

Thank you again!  I will share this information because so many are struggling with this issue at some time or another.

Jubile

[bishopbiscuits]

Hello all!

........Be encouraged. 

.........Some people are very flexible on what they consider acceptable, depending on their mood and what they desire, because their purpose is to serve self.  They may have justified some things to themselves, and want you to accept their reasoning.
.........Possibly because they feel that:

A. their opinion is valid, because their choice worked for them fine (but what are their standards of "good" and "fine?" )
B. They may be still validating to themselves their choice that they are living with and will feel better if we agree that the course of action they suggest is logical/acceptable.
C. They have something else to gain by convincing us to allow them to direct/influence this area of our lives 

........The world will suggest anything, and an unrenewed mind may make reason of anything.
....... But we are not just anyone, we are the bride of Christ! We are talking about our own precious lives in Christ! What investment are we willing to make patiently before God and man?
.........When I marry, I want her to be the only woman on my heart and mind. No one else would be under God and to me prepared for this new journey of love, trust, and physical intimacy, added to the closeness that has already been established in other areas.
.........We as Christians must guard our hearts. Actively judging against the Word the "suggestions" of the world.
.........The world's shortcuts, promises, and compromises always come with a catch. If we allow ourselves to follow their path, we also get their consequences.
...........Besides, following God's wisdom in this area is the best place to put our hope and strength.  Let's give God  credit for being God over every area of our lives, and earnestly seek His peace in this area.

P.S. And if other people won't accept what God told you in this area, pray for them, but don't waiver in trusting God and His way. It won't make sense to some people, but neither should what the world suggests be accepted as reasonable to us.
........If I am justified by God, then do I need other folks to justify my life too?

[Jubile]

Thank you all so much!!  This has truly helped.  I'm holding out for that Blessed union - I've already had a "fine union".

God Bless and thank you again.

[da2bjeez]

Greetings:


Jubile you are precious in Gods eyes.


In Hebrews 12:1 says Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. It is a battle that you must fight to stay pure. The proverbs 31 women is not concerned about what others say, she is concrete on God's word and strong minded about Gods will. Paul also writes in Romans 12:1-2 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not be conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. You must present your body to God before you can present your body to your husband. You are called to purity in your singleness.


   The bible says sin done outside the body is diffrent from sin done inside ( speaking of sexual sin) because it defiles to temple, and girl you are God's temple. In other words the holy spirit dwells in you. Transform your mind daily with the washing of the word, you must not sin against the temple were god is, it deteriorates the body and grives the holy spirit. Yes,  your right when you said God will forgive, but we cannot take advantage of his grace. Regardless of what you do in life people will find flaws, but yor must remember the thoughts God has towards you and the hope he has in you to give jubile an expected hope and future, that does not consist of evil. A true man of God respect and honours a woman of God, your relationship to God is the only test drive he should be getting. If God says yes than thats all the compatiblity you need.


Blessing


Your Sister in Christ