WHEN THE WOMAN ASKS FOR FORGIVENESS

[MONIQUE]

How does one handle not being forgiven for something that they really did not do? I apologized for the other terrible misdeeds that I did, but this thing that I did not do is hanging over my head. Am i consumed by this individuals disdain for me? Should I be concerned? Unforgiven

[Breathedonme]

Hi Monique,

I don't have a real answer, but I do have a question?  What else can you do after you've asked for forgiveness and the person can't forgive you?  What else?  You can't make the person forgive you, right?

I mean outside of not repeating the same behavior, allowing time for healing and for the person or people to see you've really changed -- what else can ya do?

My position is this:  if I have apologized, asked God's forgiveness, paid any restitution, if that is necessary -- there's nothing more I can do!

When we breach trust it is one of the hardest things to build up and it normally takes time -- if ever at all. 

I have hurt people in my past and now that I've "waken," I wish I could take things back or change them.  It has taken years for the people involved to trust me again.  I've had to learn to forgive myself as well.

The things I am referencing happened 20 years ago, and some people won't let things go. 

So, outside of not manifesting the same poor behavior, what can you do outside of apologizing and working to continue to be a better person?

Biblically, the Word tells us if your brother has an aught against you -- leave your gift at the altar, make it right with your brother and then return.

Hey, didn't I saw "a" question???

Oh well 

[Forum Administrator]

Hi Monique and welcome to Deep Waters. I agree with what Breathedonme has said. You have absolutely no control over the actions or attitudes of others. Let me just say, however, that we have to deal with the consequences of our actions. Even though you did not do this thing for which this person has not forgiven you, from what you said, you did some other things. "A brother offended is not easily won." Trust takes time, consistent good behavior, and commitment to restore. It could be that the other person has not reached that level of growth yet that will allow this individual to walk in complete forgiveness. As Breathedonme has said, allow time for healing.

That being said, let me add the only Person you really have to worry about forgiving you is God and He has promised to forgive you every time, all the time. Having done what you can to "seek peace and pursue it," the only other obligation you have is to walk in the forgiveness that God has made available to you.

While things may be uncomfortable between you and this individual, keep in mind that discomfort never killed anybody.  It's not easy to pray for those who we know disdain us, but God says we should pray for our very enemies. Pray for this individual. Only God can change the heart. See to it that no root of bitterness springs up in you towards this person.

The only thing that's hanging over your head is God's hand ready to pull you up. Grab hold and lay aside every weight.  You can grow through this.