How can I be sure?

[ipreach2]

First, thank you for your responses. They have been very encouraging and have made me think. I have another question (I'm sure I'll have a LOT of questions). I read your book about how God blessed you with your promised mate (the book was excellent by the way). My question is, what if God didn't promise me a mate? It sounds like God definitely let you know that He would bless you with a husband. I cannot say that God has given me a promise like that. I just desire to be married (and I don't see anything wrong with that). How can I be sure God will bless me with marriage? Or can I be sure?  

[Forum Administrator]

Thank you for reading my book and for posting such a great question. You are right: God did let me know that He would bless me with marriage, but I still had to trust Him to do what He said He would do, and you must do the same. Certainty goes hand in hand with trust. I know how difficult it can be to trust God when you don't have all the answers; the unknown can be scary. But, when faced with the unknown, hold onto the known.

Right from the start we know two things: 1) you desire to be married (and you are desiring something that God says is honorable--Hebrews 13:4); and 2) God has given you promises in His word (and His promises are certain--2 Corinthians 1:20). God may not have given you a specific promise of marriage, but He has given you promises that you can hold on to that are relevant to your desire to be married. Once you know what those promises are, you can confidently ask for what you want and trust God to give it to you. (FYI: six of the seven scripture references below are examples of such promises.)

Ask Rightfully: God wants you to ask Him for what you want (Matthew 7:7): that is your right as a believer. Claim it! God is the Giver of every good and perfect gift (James 1:17) and if you are doing those things that He requires of you, He will not keep anything that is good from you (Psalm 84:11).

Ask Righteously: Make sure you ask for the right things for the right reasons: motive is crucial (James 4:3). If you ask God for anything according to His will, God will hear you and give you what you've asked for (I John 5:14-15). How will you know what His will is? Ask God to reveal it to you as you read His word.

Ask Requisitely: Some of God's promises are conditional; they are dependent on our obedience (John 15:7). Before you claim such a promise, make sure you are doing or have done what God has required of you.

Ask Resiliently: God's desire to bless you far exceeds your desire to be blessed. Be flexible and trust God enough to allow Him to place His desires in your heart so that you will want the things that He desires to give you (Psalm 37:4).

I understand that trusting God is often a struggle. The mere suggestion may throw you into a panic as you try to balance the comfort of the known present with the unknown possibilities of the future. You may find yourself wondering, what if God doesn't give me what I want? The key to overcoming this internal conflict is in understanding that God wants to give you what is absolutely best for you, not just for now, but for twenty, thirty, or forty years from now. God cannot always give you what you want, because your perspective is limited in comparison to His, and what you want may not be what's best for you... now or in the long run. As I said in the beginning, certainty and trust go hand in hand. Trust Him, not just to give you what you want, but, more importantly, to give you what to want. When you want what God wants for you, you can be certain that you will get it!