letting people go

[1dayatatime]

I hope I picked the right subject line for my topic this time.  Anyways, I have a friend who I have been friends for about 5 years now, and she can get in these moods where she snaps at people no matter who you are and how close you are to her.  I have always ignored her because the next minute she is fine. But about 2 weeks ago she snapped on me and it was like the last straw. I haven't spoken to her since. She emailed me at work today to ask me how are things and I replied but that was it.  How should I handle this?

And one more question. It's funny that I have close friends in my life who I would consider sisters then the two blood sisters that I have. I have an older sister who is 13 years older then me and a sister who is 2 years younger.  The younger sister and I don't get along stemming from childhood. I only call her to ask can I get her kids for the weekend and that is it. I figured just because me and her don't like each other don't mean I can't have a relationship with my neices and nephew. And with  my older sister I kept the relationship going. I was always doing all the calling and stuff like that. So I stopped and now she tells my mother she don't know why I haven't called her. Uh, if she really wants to know why that bad then she can call me. I am not babysitting a 42 year old. I live 1 hour away from my family. I think it is a blessing. But I guess my question is just because I have blood sister does it mean I have to have a relationship with them? I love them but from a distance. Is that wrong?

[Gracious]

Hello 1dayatatime

Really sorry that your going through, my sista'   Please try to remember that "life's seasons" truly do change ... and even THIS ... too shall pass.  Amen?

Please know that we "do" teach people how to treat us!!!  

And your "How to treat me 101" classes, can begin when YOU are ready for them to begin.  If you want your friend to CHANGE "her" behavior (not simply adjust it & revert back to business as usual w/ you) ... then YOU must CHANGE ... Amen?  And the only way to CHANGE for the GOOD (and not simply adjust your behavior to conform with hers) is to lay this predicament at the feet of GOD (at the alter) & allow JESUS to arise within you ... Amen?

Next,
If the relationship with your sister(s) is not what you'd like for it be ... again, lay your concerns at the feet of GOD - RELEASE this situation to HIM FOR REAL!!!  Trying to fake it (by pretending ... that things - "their ways"  don't bother you) in the flesh ... is only gonna' make you weary, dreary & TRULY not one that anyone would want to be around!

GOD has a strange way of FIXING EVERYTHING ... all at the same time!!!  Amen?  I'm led that surprisingly BOTH of these issues are going to work out (in your favor) simultaneously ... Amen?  But YOU are going to have to "earnestly" release them to GOD ... First ... So that HE will fix YOU ... first!!!

Sweetie,

You are an awesome sister & I've so enjoyed & learned from your postings.  I pray that what I've shared helps in some way!!!  It will get better for you ... OK?

From my heart,

Gracious

[Forum Administrator]

Hello 1dayatatime. I agree with Gracious about taking your concerns to the altar. I believe in going a step further: after you've prayed about it, what are you going to do about it? Gracious is on to something when she says you teach people how to teach you. Re: your snapping friend, have you ever spoken to her about her behavior and/or let her know that you will not allow anyone to treat you like that. If not, you might consider doing that. Set some sort of clear consequence for her behavior (e.g. loss of friendship) and allow her to be accountable for her actions.  If after doing that she continues to do it, follow through on the consequence. Perhaps you can gift yourself with the Boundaries and Safe People books (check the resources pages on the main Deep Waters website (http://www.deepwaters.info/resources-abuse.htm). I think both books will help you answer the question about relationship with your family members also. They certainly helped me!