Coping With the Aftermath of an Affair

[One_of_the_few]

I saw this article on Oprah.com and thought it would be good to share on Deepwaters.  Its not scriptural based but I am sure its helpful to someone reading!

Coping With the Aftermath of an Affair

 Finding out that your partner cheated is a painful experience. It's often very difficult to trust and love again. Yet it's absolutely vital to put the pain behind you and move forward with life and love, says Dr. Phil McGraw. Otherwise, "you are not running your own life," he says. "You're giving your power away to the people who hurt you."

  If you quit, you're guaranteed to lose. If you play the game, at least you have a chance to win.  
  
  Fall in love with who people are, not who you hope they are. When we're hungry for love, acceptance and affection, we tend to not ask too many questions about the other person.  
  
  What's your selection criteria? Every one of us has a God-given core where we find dignity and self-worth. However, you'll never find it if you don't have some standards.  
  
  Decide what you want. You have to name it before you can claim it.  
  
  If you pick the wrong person, it doesn't matter what you do after that. Most of us tend to pick people we think we know, who we think we feel safe with, who we think we can control.  
  
  Take things one step at a time. If you get scared, be willing to admit that and talk about it, but don't automatically take yourself out of a relationship because of it.  
  
  Feeling scared is okay. Being willing to trust again is the key.  
  

[Forum Administrator]

Excellent! This may not quote scriptures, but it is definitely scripturally based. Thank you for sharing!

[Novelist]

Absolutely and positively, this is great information! I can appreciate your words and thoughts on this matter when relationships are burned from infidelity to regrets from the past.  Honestly, some of us can relate to most of these issues based on how we feel about ourselves.  Thus, we choose someone based on NOW, not considering the hurt that may come later.  You are right about falling in love with someone for who they are than what you expect them to be.  In relationships, there are areas of pain and triumph, however, we must understand the essence of who we are and manage to move on.  In fact, I read some things that were apart of my past and knowing that love is based on pouring in so that you can pour out into the right places and people.  Thank you for sharing these thoughts.


Novelist.

[try1God]

Thank you, I needed this durning the time that I am going thurgh now.