VOID

[Novelist]

God is everywhere.  He is omnipresent.  So why do I feel void?  My heart feels empty as a place of echoes, where anything could drop and noises are sensitive.  I love the lord and I know that he is with me, yet I long for the presence of friends or a relationship.  The tangible is easier than the intangible.  The wait is hard for me.  I want a sense of companionship, on the other hand, I may not be ready.  The reason I say not ready is because I must learn how to be whole first.  I want to be whole, meanwhile, I would like to go out on a date sometimes.  Nothing serious, just friends hanging out.  It seem as if I am asking for too much because all I want are the simple things as love and respect.  Who does not want these? My life seem to be full of blanks.  There are no specialties going on right now.  Even the wind is moving more than my life.  Sometimes, I wish I could be the wind, so that I can blow beautiful breezes.  Enough of that fantasy, the reality is humid, torrid, and it changes unexpectedly.  I just want to be happy and joyful of course with myself, but who does not want someone to share life's journey with?

I am afraid of getting old and not experiencing life to the fullest as I desire.  I am 25 years old, going on 26 and I have not accomplished living on my own yet.  I want to be whole and have a chance to live on my own so that I can form my own sense of living with myself.  I AM TIRED TO THE POINT OF, "WHY TRY?" I am not sure what the futures holds for me, but I am afraid that I will not live my life to the fullest and enjoy having nice things.  Not to be materialistic, but I want to experience owning a home someday, seeing my children grow up, traveling around the world, spending time with my family to form happier memories.  I do not want time to pass by and I have not done anything exciting in my life.  Right now, I feel lonely, a failure, and someone who is boring, when in fact, I like to have fun, but you need money to have fun sometimes, when going to the amusement parks, museums, the zoo, and getting out and doing something fun and productive. My problem is that I spend more time wishing than enjoying my life.  The single life is great to an extent, but sometimes you want company and want someone to think about you too.  That's me.  I want attention and not receiving it.  Why?  I don't know, but it hurts when others are not thinking about you.

I had an idea of having a circle of friends and sometimes we would get together, have expressos, talk about life in general and spare our time to pray for each other when necessary.  The kind of friends who would call and say, "Hello, it's me, I was thinking about you and wanted to make sure you were having a good day." But that is asking for too much because people have schedules and you are somehow erased out of their memory or maybe you do not exist anymore.  I believe sometimes people are apart of others' loneliness because as humans we have a need of social interaction.  At least think of them and call sometimes.  I guess everyone does not think like me.


Novelist.

[pressingon]

Hi Novelist.

We go through different seasons of our life.  Sometimes we walk though "green pastures" where everything is fruitful and properous, sometimes God leads us beside the "still waters" where our life is so peaceful that we can just hear from the Lord.  Which ever season your are in ask God what you are to gain from this season in your life?

Along with relationships of all kinds comes joy and companionship, but also there comes disagreement and conflict.  Maybe the Lord is sparing you or preparing you.

I've too not always had alot of money to do somethings I'd like to do.  But where I live the zoo and most museums are free.  I've learned to enjoy doing somethings by myself.  Although I still don't eat out alone .

I went through a time of loneliness.  But now that I have different relationships in my life.  I sometimes miss those times of being alone.  Just stay encouraged.  This is a season your going through and seasons always change.

[Novelist]

I appreciate your encouragement and I know that seasons will change, however, my thinking the same, but I am working on it.  I want to enjoy my life without allowing loneliness to rule.  having a circle of girlfriends at least, where we could get through the progress together.  I love support systems.  I know that God is the greatest of them all and although I know these things, I am still human and always long for a human touch to the atmosphere.  Right now, my life is like a stop sign.  How long will it stay here?  Is it me?  I would say apart of it is me, but I am trying all that I can to get through this valley.  I have spent enough nights crying and worrying.  I just want love and affection and it begins with myself.  This I am working on even now and I know that God plans to do the impossible in my life.  Maybe God is preparing me and separating me from others to get me in this secret place in him.  The good thing about all of this is that I prayed and asked God to forgive me for my sins of doubt, fear, and feeling lonely.  How could I feel lonely when he was there all the time?

In regards to feeling like a failure, I wanted to know what is your outlook on failures and how can I get past this stage in my life.  I have a desire to live on my own, but right now I am looking for employment so that I can start taking care of somethings.  I know it will take some time and it is difficult, so pray for my patience, my faith, and total trust in God.


Novelist.

[pressingon]

Do you have a church that you are an active member of?  I would recommend getting active in using your gifts in the ministry.  You should be spending time with people who share your love for Christ.  Does your church have a young adult or single's ministry?  If not you can seek those ministries out at other churches.  Currently, my church does not have a single's ministry so my friends and I fellowship with other churches when they have single's events.  Don't wait for someone to invite you to go somewhere...you can be the initiator.  Ask someone if they'd like to go have coffee, or a gospel concert (there are free ones out there), or somewhere else with you.  You just don't realize there are probably people you come in contact with regularly that may be feeling the same way you are. 

In speaking of failure, I've felt like a failure many times.  The greatest moment of feeling failure would have to be the ending of my marriage.  All I can say to you is that God's Grace is Sufficient.  People say it so much that sometimes it seems cliche.  But it really is true.  His grace and mercy covers us when we fail.  Grace  - Getting what we don't deserve and Mercy - Not getting what we do deserve.  We must remember sometimes we fail out of disobedience to God...but sometimes what seems like failure is just God working out His Will in our lives.

Romans 8:28...one of my favorite scriptures that I have to keep reminding myself of..."All things work together for the good for those who love the Lord and those who are called according to his purpose."  You are called and I believe you love the Lord.  All the things you consider failures, all your disappointments, frustration, and loneliness will work out for your good my sista.  You can't always see that but I can be a witness.  I felt like a complete failure in the fact that my marriage was unsuccessful and that I've found myself a single parent.  But God's grace has been sufficient.  That unmerited favor has truly stepped in and provided more than provision but abundance in my life.  And I speak of not only material things but of spiritual blessings as well.  Thank God for that Peace that surpasses all understanding.  I will continue to pray for you my sista. 

Pressingon

[Novelist]

I appreciate your encouragement regarding my loneliness and feeling like a failure.  God has been good to me and I do not want to overlook that.  Perhaps this is a way for God to prepare me and equip me for better things down the road.  I am not sure what he has in store, but I am believing that he has an expected end and a good hope.  God has a future for me and I need to focus on what his will is for my life.  Feeling void is not synonymous with God.  He has been with me every step of the way and at times I lose sight of that.  His mercy endureth forever and ever.  More than I can imagine, he has been giving me time to spend with him and some of the time, I had prayer, conversed with him, and cried out to him.  I surely see why my time is precious and should be cherished when I can spend time with my father.  On the flip side, life is a challenge.  Going out in the real world, obtaining a job, repaying loans, paying off debt, and someday live on my own.  I have so much to do and I feel overwhelmed because I do not have the money to take care of everything.  So, continue to pray for me so that the doors will open for me to take care of God's business and that he will take care of mine.  Everything seem to tie together because I need to make a living for myself and I have to deal with choices as to the kind of relationships I build and if it is healthy for me.  Life is a journey and I am trying to go with the flow of things.  Pray for me.


Novelist.

[Breathedonme]

Greetings all!

Novelist - I just want to share a few things and pray you will hear my spirit as I say them. 

I am 47 years old and have been through much.  As Pressing On stated, I've also had my marriage end in a very, very painful way.  God revealed to me that His grace is sufficient.  I also thought this was cliche; however, it is the Word and it reigns true.

Novelist, my nephew (my other son) and my sister's only child was viciously murdered last year during a botched robbery attempt - he was a manager of a restaurant.  Sean was 25 years old and loved life.  He loved God, his friends and family.  He had great ambitions, college graduate and just helped people.  He truly loved life.

While we are going into the 2nd trial this coming Monday, it is amazing how many people have presented information to the Assistant District Attorney (ADA) about how Sean helped them or what he deposited in their lives.  The ADA told me that in her entire career, she has never received as many statements!  THIS IS FOR A 25-YEAR OLD!! 

I want you to know that while God has granted you life -- make your impact!  There are some people out there who are waiting for your gifts.  I am excited about this for you.

My dear friend, our enemy, satan, gives us illusions to take our focus off of receiving the prize of Jesus Christ.

You are close to my nephew's age and I am encouraging you to put your faith into works and fight for your prize.  I understand about loneliness.  Trust me (smile).

I understand about failures as well, but it is a trick of the enemy to keep your failures before your mind (and to make sure people are around to continually remind your of your failures).  However, in Christ you are a new creation (creature). 

There is nothing that you have done in your past that you can change.  It was done.  However, you can go forth, in the name of Jesus!

It isn't cliche when God is telling you in Psalm that you are "wonderfully and fearfully" made.  God doesn't make junk.  Also, in Jeremiah 29:11 - He clearly states that He has a plan for your life one of good and not evil -- He has an expected end for you.  Don't miss it.

God created in each of us a "place" a "hole"  a "void" that only He can fill.  Isn't that awesome?

Lastly, sometimes that empty feeling or feeling of being alone is God separating us for preparation for His Work -- your gifts and ministry.  Yes, that place can be a bit lonely at times.

Continue with your devotional time with Christ -- drawing closer to Him.  Will you feel lonely at times, yep -- you sure will, but as you go forth and help others -- the homeless, abandoned children left in hospitals who need a gentle touch or shown some love, broken women, etc.  God will move mightily more than you can experience!

God bless you,

Your sister in Christ

[Novelist]

Firstly, I apologize for the death of your nephew.  Losing someone is painful, yet you knew that he loved life as you stated.  As a young man at 25, it is disturbing to hear of his demise.  However, you are absolutely correct when it comes to fighting for the prize.  I am not sure what God has in store, but he has a future and a good hope for me.  Thank you for your words of sage and giving me a new way to think toward life.  I know that God loves me.  It is my insecurity for feeling loneliness at times because I am use to someone or better phrase, long for someone to be with me.  Step by step, I am learning how to be content with God and myself.  I want to live life to the fullest and whatever his will for me.  There are broken individuals out there scattered, hurt, and wounded and yes, they may need my gifts.  It is wonderful to hear so many great words spoken of your nephew because of his character, his love for God, and helping others is a great legacy.  Surely, it touches me to hear about this.  Moreover, your words are essential to my growth because you have spoken from experience to help me see that my life should be anchored in God.  All of these things I know, yet applying these things can be difficult because of the situations of life.  I want to grow closer to God, for he is the author and finisher of my faith.  My voids have been from a lack of love and esteem from my mother and father throughout the years.  Bad relationships, friends coming and going, not to leave out how unworthy I felt most of the time.  It was terrible, but now I am changing all of this. 


I want God's best for me.  You spoke truth and I appreciate your words.

Novelist.

[Breathedonme]

HALLELUJAH!  You have just blessed my socks off (smile).

Thank you very much for your sentiment and I request your prayers during the upcoming trial.  The young brother is a hostile witness who is refuting his taped confessions.

We are also praying that God will save those young brothers who killed our Sean.  God is able and can do it.

I don't know what it is sistah, but I just am excited about what God is going to do in your life (and what he has already begun).

God bless you.

Love ya!