It Is Hard Beging Single!

[Sunshine]

Hello! I am a seventeen year old senior and I am single. I just recently moved from the school that I attened all of my life to a school about 20 miles away from it. Although it might not actually be that far away it feels like I'm on a totally different planet. I would not say that I am the shy type but I do have trouble meeting new people and making new friends. However, the Valentine's Dance is coming up and guess what I don't have a date of the slightest clue as to who would even be interested. The problem is this school is different, the girls up here are a lot more "free hearted" if you know what I mean and I am a virgin and all of the guys know this. So how can I compete? Most of these guys are only going with the girls that they know will "make their evening" and I am by now streach of the imagination going to let them make me break my promise to God. So please some one out there that has waded in these troubled waters tell me what should I do?

[Forum Administrator]

Hello Sunshine! Welcome to Deep Waters and thanks for your patience. First of all, I want to celebrate with you the fact that you are seventeen and have made a commitment to remain a virgin. That makes you incredibly special especially in situations (like your new school) where it seems like everyone else is throwing their individuality away trying to be like everyone else.

My advice: don't compete; be unique. Competing would be like trying to compare a piece of coal with a diamond. You are a diamond.  The other "free hearted" girls (and guys) can be diamonds too, but to do so they will have to be willing to stand up under pressure--as you are doing--and allow the beauty that is within them to shine through instead of trying to attract through the outward/physical only.

When something is given away freely or is too easily obtained it loses its value. That is what makes precious stones--like diamonds--so valuable. As a matter of fact, the more rare a diamond is, the more valuable it is. It takes a special kind of guy to realize this, and that's the kind of guy you want to attract not the ones who just want you to "make their evening."

So, what about the dance? How badly do you want to go? If you don't have a date, do you want to go badly enough to go alone? Why do you want to go? Maybe after thinking it through it might not be as big a deal as it seems to be now. What about making your own plans for the night of the dance instead of allowing the night of the dance to dictate plans for you. You could hang out with some of your other friends. You could go to the movies. You could have an evening of pampering. You could go out to eat. You could kick back and relax. My point is you have options. You don't have to wait for anyone else to invite you to do something to have a good time. Dance to your own tune!   

[Novelist]

Sunshine, in human nature we are gregarious and we long and desire to be within a group or have a connection.  At times I felt the same as you do and it is not easy.  However, as time progressed, I began to join groups, get involved and slowly make my way to meeting people.  In my character I am shy at times, but I like to communicate with my peers.  Now that I am 25 years old, I can reflect on my years in high school and tell you that I did not have many friends, but associates.  There are differences.  Everyone will not be your friend, but you may have associates, the people you speak with on general topics and share some common interest.  I had an experience when I moved to Portland, Oregon years ago and I had never moved out of state; and when I did, I was petrified.  I wanted to cry.  Soon, I made many connections with other students and had a few friends that I actually built relationships with and everything was history.

Moreover, everyone has a different story and way of handling new territories.  For you, I would advise you to join a student body and begin to participate in something.  Be a part of a team and start there.  It is not easy in the beginning.  Soon, you will be surprised when you have made some friends and continue to be who you are.  Oh, yes and I know about school dances, it can be lonely when you do not have a date.  Sunshine, do not be intimidated because you are a virgin.  Girls who are wild and degrading themselves will not be as pure and beautiful as you.  Believe me, they are tainted! You go girl and do your part! Be your own leader and know that being pure is not a bad reputation.  In fact, guys will respect you more, I mean true and respectful guys.  Sunshine, you are loved by many and do not realize it.  I am your sister in Christ and I love you.  God, your family, new friends on the way, and even that cute boyfriend will come soon.  Believe me, I feel this way too!! I am single and still trying to get over somethings, so know that you are not alone.  I am facing some battles as well.  Things will get better.


Novelist.

[da2bjeez]

It's hard being single!


         I have been reading deep waters for some time now. I just decided to become a member. This is one of the first topics I would go to when visiting the site. Encouragement is usally interesting to read. Singleness, will God is now teaching me what it really means to be single. It means to be whole; that is whole in the Lord. The bible says Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord. Psalm 27:14. Waiting is hard, but in the waiting process God renews are strenght. He gives us strenght to fight temptation, gives us endurance to run the race, and patience to trust in his word. I'v been single for some time now and boy is it hard, but I can do all things through CHRIST who strengthens me. God is preparing me, and so far he is doing a great job. I cannot believe the type of woman he is creating me to be. It is such a blessing; all glory goes to him. But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew {their} strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; {and} they shall walk, and not faint, Isaiah 40:31.

He is so awesome, celibacy is and should be a practice of singleness. I believe that if you are not ready to get married; than you should not be in a relationship. I'm learning to take care of my first husband Jesus. I'm learning to be obedient, and submissive to God first, who is my head. He gifted me and I'M using my gifts to glorify him. Let us hold fast the profession of {our} faith without wavering; (for he {is} faithful that prom- ised;) Hebrews 10:23. Hold fast he promised he would send that mate. I'm 23 going on 24 and God is still using me in my single life. So I encourage all to allow God to use you and mold you into the woman or man he has called you to be.

Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, (KJV)
Jude 1:24


I pray that this would bring someone encouragement. He who dwells in the secret place of the most high, SHALL abide under the shadow of the ALMIGHTY. God Bless!

Your Sister in Christ