A life of sexual depravity

[ccadroz93]

I am not really sure how to go about this in a "Godly" fashion other than to post  what I pray will be an encouragement to someone who thinks they are the "only one".

I am 43 and learned how to masterbate when I was like 3. I did it compulsively until about a year ago. ANYTHING I could use to stimulate myself I would.  Literally. This was all complicated by my pornography addiction and my same sex attractions.

I trusted Christ as my savior in 1997. While still doing my thing I began feeling guilt about it that Ihad never had in the past. I continued to do it; to relieve stress, when I was angry, when I was relaxing, when I went for more than a day without seeing my husband.......etc.

The long and short is I knew I had to get away from the pornography. That went first. I was taking care of things sometimes more than twice a day and would even binge with it.

In 2004 I busted my husband masturbating to a poro flick and lost it. I did not know he had this issue and we had never participated in it together. Since then, with every "slip" my husband had, brought yet more deviant behaviors of mine to light.

I rejoice in the Lord today that I have been free for over a year from masterbating and as my husband is working on his issues and we work together, I have found that all my self-stimulation was ruining my intimacy with my husband and taking away from him. He has discovered the same thing! The satisfaction I get from my husband today is way more than I was able to achieve by my own hands!

Every Man's Battle, Every Heart Restored, Every Woman's Battle, these are all resources I would suggest for anyone dealing with these debilitating and marriage killing habits. Oh ya, I am also happily heterosexual after so many years of women (prior to marriage). Praise Jesus!!!

There is hope for anyone who totally depends and trusts in the Lord to change their hearts. It has been painful and Ihave a long way to go, but I see the Light !!!

[Forum Administrator]

Thank you for having the courage and love to be so transparent and share your testimony! You have helped and will help many who read your post. Thanks also for validating the resources you mentioned. God bless you! Keep walking in and towards greater victory!