Thoughts

[Novelist]

Dating can be rough and it is hard to connect to someone compatible and wanting at least some of the same goals.  Oftentimes, I wonder where my future holds with someone, but I guess, it is not meant for me to know right now.  Growing up, I had insecurities and sometimes I continue to go through those same reflections.  I do not date as much, but I would like to.  One of the things that I observe is that others' are finding love while individuals like me are left behind with no one share some of our time with.  I may be wrong for comparing myself with other women, yet it is a fact that I may not get the guys all the time.  I hear people say how beautiful and pretty I am, but why am I having a hard time finding a mate?  I do not have the answers.  For instance, my cousin has many dates and most times, she is dealing with a man, one after another.  I am not being judgmental toward her in a bad way, but I think she may have low self esteem issues because she cannot be without a man.  Currently, she is dating someone that she likes and she already went out of town with him.  She claims that it is only friendship, but I know it is more.  The reason I am looking at this situation is that every time she finds someone, she goes places and do things with them versus me.  Honestly, I have jealousy issues at times because she is always meeting someone.  I wish I could meet someone and have them to treat me out to dinner.  Also, getting back to the situation, she is planning another weekend getaway with him.  For me, I have always felt like I was looked upon as the quiet one who would not do anything daring and not have a spicy side to my life.  While on the other hand, people view her as outgoing, dating and going on trips.  In a way, I am tired of the label.  If I had done what she is doing, I would feel guilty because of the way everyone looks at me.  In my heart, I want to do what's right, but I am struggling as a single woman.  It has been too long.  I am nearly 30 years old and I am battling with so much to the point of not being able to date because I am not where I want to be. 

In my heart, I think she is struggling with her own insecurities.  She has a daughter, been married and has been dating other men.  I do not think it is good for her daughter to see her bring different men around.  When she met this new guy, he is nice, but they are moving too fast.  I know what is going on between them and it is not just a friendship frenzy if you know what I mean.  Who would go on a weekend trip and not do anything?  Please! I am protective of her and hoping that she can work on herself too.  I think she has a hard time being alone.  They talk everyday, even when they just seen each other, he or she is calling and then she may get mad at him for something petty when it is not necessary.  She is getting emotionally and physically involved with this guy and I am not sure how long it is going to last.  The reason this affects me is because I am doing my best to live for God, while she gets to go out and sin unti the sun goes down.  It is not fair that she can do all of these things and I am not close to getting the true happiness that I desire.  It is hard to see this everyday.  What can I do to get over this and hopefully for her to see that she does not have to go out like that?

[Gracious]

Hi Novelist,

Nice to see you back!

[vevolander]

hey Novelist,

maybe in our hearts we have to check.
why do i feel the need to be like someone else to find date and why would i felt guilty if i do imitate someone else style to seek date?

it is true that we have to trust more to God than the problem we think are biG.
But it lies in the heart i think.
I always like Mother Theresa word "it is where God Loves you the most", when you are in tribulation and still keep excersize your faith.

Happy Moments, Praise God
Painful Moments, Trust God
Every Moments, Thank God,
We are Living to Glorify God

thats our purpose, not to our selves.

may i recommend you INSIDE OUT by Dr. Larry Crabb
I have similar issues with Work. I havent work in the area of my liking cuz I am confused,
other friends of my age work in their field and rising higher and higher.. and everytime I been asked, I always get confused and stressed why I am not like my friends... but this book helped me. It deals with the underwaters within all the things that shows as frustration to me.