So much all at once.

[spiritablazed]

Do you ever feel like its literally WWIII and your the only one who knows it or feels it! I guess Im at a point where I have to write it down and see if others find me to be sane! Maybe I should list what has happened just in the last month.

1. My relationship with my mother was rocky for a couple years because of abuse in our home (her boyfriend abusing her, she neglecting and abusing her children{physical, emotional}). But over the last couple years I knew I needed to forgive her and build a relationship with her. The problem with this picture is I am 21 I live in a whole other state and it seems to be a one sided relationship full of empty promises and words...I try not to have expectations but at the same time I dont want to lose hope. I love my mom, but I just dont know if she feels the same, Im sure she loves me on some level but she seems to not care. I have talked with her several times about this issue (making sure to be compassionate and understanding but still getting the point across)...but she just cries and says I love you and the process starts again.

2.  A man who was a mentor to me and is no longer and mentor to me has questioned my honesty and integrity, when I have been nothing but honest. Before when he was my mentor I tried to be open to his suggestions and listen to his direction but for some reason he tended to try to control me rather than guide me and made me feel very small, instead of building me up. It really hurt when he questioned my character.

3. I had a miscommunication with some people I am in ministry with and things got blown out of proportion and really hurt and stressed me out

4. My relationship ended with my boyfriend (on again off again). We were very serious talked extensively about marriage, children, and ministry....It wasnt a very good relationship but for some reason I find no relief in it ending, rather I feel immense pain and at times agony for the loss of my best friend. I understand why it ended, I have nothing but good things to say about the man. We cant say we didnt try. We both had our issues...but the biggest one was affection: he came from a homosexual lifestyle and is still healing, still a bit confused and it was hard for him to show affection on a regular basis; it was a chore. My problem was I felt like I had been patient but kept getting jealous when he would show the same amount of affection to friends and a times more.

So after this HUGE email of problems I guess I just need some sort of relief. I have tried to lay it all down, obviously havent. I need healing, I need....I dont even know the extent of what I need. I know the Lord sees me where I am. If you could pray for me, I guess that could be the best thing to ask.

Thank you and much love,
SS

[Gracious]

Hello - Hello - "spiritablazed" & WELCOME!!!

"My relationship with my mother" ...  A "man" - mentor ...  Misconceptions ...  Passionate interests ...

I'm receiving over & again from your post, a personal assail.  And I am soooooo very sorry that you are hurting.  Perhaps there will be something from this post that will be encouraging for you ... Amen?

Please read & be Blessed!!!

Whether through neglect, the questioning of your veracity, miscommunication, and or through passionate betrayal; your spirit has been harmed ... and it is NOW that GOD has seasoned you (prepared for you) to mature (heal) so that you can go on to LIVE the destiny the HE has designed just for you!!!

YES!!!  Parents are SUPPOSED to protect, nourish, guide righteously - their children ... Amen?  But what happens when parents have sorely missed their mark of responsibility? And their lack creates devastation/violation among their offspring?

Very little can be said to comfort the spiritually violated. For someone to say "I'm sorry" whilst the injured party is lying there spiritually bleeding to death, is simply NOT enough.  I'm led that this is because the violated have been hurt in a place that man cannot penetrate.  The violation is spiritual & can only be TRULY HEALED ... spiritually.


How does one begin to forgive a parent who has violated them?  Who heals the violated?

Godly relationships within our families 100% of the time, involves this word ... "Forgiveness".   And "forgiveness" walks hand in hand with the word "FREEDOM".  And your 'own" Freedom is contingent upon the choices that "YOU" make (how YOU exercise your free-will).

Forgiveness is the beginning of True Worship, and THIS will set your inner-self / your spiritual-self free.

Now, how does one forgive unfairness committed against the innocent?

We learn to forgive by developing a DEEP bond with what GOD has placed inside of each one of us  ... The Holy Spirit - your Comforter - the vehicle we use to access The Door - JESUS THE CHRIST!!! I'm led that God did not plant brethren all around us, for us to walk in our struggles singularly. Rather, GOD has placed our HELP within the souls of others.

Meaning, we have ALL been "violated" in some manner - by the enemy working through others.  And I'm led, that we each shall realize our own FREEDOM - our PEACE, from JESUS, shown through HIS spirit WITHIN others.

"spiritablazed",  I'm led that surrounding you are "women" who know your pain --- because they've lived it! And they can help you!  But, you must 1st open your eyes that you might recognize your help for what it is.  Prayer my sister, through PRAYER is how you'll see your help!!! 

Again, your issue is "spiritual", which means that a "common sense approach" towards pain resolution will not do.  Get down on your knees & acknowledge your Creator - your Father in Heaven, bless HIS Holy Name, and THEN ... tell HIM your everything, ask HIM to reveal your help to you & HE will!!!

My prayers are ever with you,


Gracious
   

[Forum Administrator]

Hello spiritablazed. Welcome to Deep Waters. You are taking on a lot all at once; too much for you to carry. We will certainly help keep you lifted in prayer, and it's important that you also pray. It's not God's will for you to be burdened down, that is why He tells us to cast or throw up our cares to Him (in prayer) because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). Let me give you a quick and guaranteed formula for dealing with every one of these issues (Phil. 4:6-8):

1. Refuse to be anxious about anything
2. Pray (make specific requests and talk to God in detail) about those things that tempt/cause you to become anxious
3. Take (receive as your own) the peace that God will give you in return
4. Think about things that maintain a peaceful mindset
5. Repeat steps 1-4 as often as necessary

You'll find this formula in Philippians 4:6-8. Remember you are the righteousness of God--not based on anything you've done/do, but on what Christ has done for you (2 Corinthians 5:21). You are righteous and your prayers are powerful and effective! (see James 5:16) Put your prayers to work and possess your peace!