Communication

[MrD]

Hello Deep Waters! I have a serious problem! I have got to the point that I can not talk to my wife of 27 years and I don't know why? when i get up inthe morning I can't talk to her, she wants me to, but the words are not there. She wants me to talk to her from my heart, but I can't seem to find any words. And it is destroying our marriage. I want to be able to talk to her the way she wants me to. How can I begin? I have another problem, I am a love taker in our relationship, I take the love but never give. I want that to change to. That may be why I can't talk to her because I am ashamed of treating her the way I have. Please Advise! Thanks1

[David Dupree]

Hello MrD

You must start where you are.  You want to change, then take a step. Start talking.  Maybe it is just about the news, but talk about it.  Maybe it is just about something you have talked about before--e.g. her dress, a scar, what's going on at your job.  Just say something.  :-) 

Men are designed by God to be givers.  The design is reflected in male anatomy.  You need to realize that you have moved from a situation with your wife to a situation with your God.  Your design is not to seek your pleasure, but to provide/become the pleasure of your wife.  Anything else is just selfish. 

Fortunately, the natural design of God is such that women are responders/replicators.  Therefore, you will never be able to give to them without getting back what is given, but multiplied.  (whether bad or good, positive or negative)  hahaha.  So it is important to stay on your j-o-b and do what you are designed/created to do.  It will be a major blessing to you in the long and short run.  Otherwise, you will continue to seek satisfaction as a receiver, but never be satisfied.  Your satisfaction comes in your giving.  Yes, it is a much different paradigm than what the world seeks to have you believe, but when you do it God's way, oh the joy that floods the soul!! 

dd