We are Family

[bishopbiscuits]

  ...   As I was thinking on Imagineme's topic, Friends with the opposite sex, I began to explore some thoughts about what Christian family means to me. But first, I thought that this would be a better way to start off. 

There are four Greek words used to define love:  eros, storge, philia, and agape.

Eros is the basest form of love. Eros love is human/sensual love (i.e. appeals to our senses). It is often referred to as sexual love (i.e. erotica). Eros love basically says, I love you because you please me or make me happy. This kind of love gives (usually as little as possible) in order to get. This is a selfish kind of love. Unfortunately, this is the kind of love that a lot of relationships are based on. It is possible for eros love to grow to a higher/deeper level if properly cultivated. Eros has it's place as a form or basis of initial (superficial) attraction between a man and woman. But in order for a relationship to last and be fulfilling, it must grow beyond eros love. Eros is superficial love.

Storge is love between family members. This is the kind of love that defines family--sibling and parental--love. Storge loves because you are a part of. Storge should never include eros love (i.e. incest), but it can include philia, and should include agape love. Storge is familial love.

Philia is an even higher level of love. It means to love with the meaning of having common interests with one another. This kind of love is the basis of true friendship or brotherly love. This is the kind of love that Jesus had for his friend Lazarus. Philia moves beyond the senses (eros) and seeks to know  something about the soul (i.e. the real you) of a person. Philia is platonic (i.e. nonsexual) love. Philia is not just take (like eros); it is give and take. There is a mutual sharing between two people who have like interests. Philia is the best basis for beginning a meaningful male-female relationship. Philia is soulful love.

Agape love is the highest form of love. This is the biblical love that God requires of us. It is an act of the will. Agape love is completely unselfish in nature. It does not give to get; it gives in the best interest of the one loved. Agape love is unconditional. It is demonstrated by giving not what a person wants, but what a person needs. Agape love is the basis of the marital relationship as God ordained it. Agape love is purposeful commitment to sacrificial action. Agape is sacrificial love.

Eros gives very little, and then only to get: it implies that you know nothing of the person being "loved" other than what is made known through the senses. Storge gives to make you a part of: it implies the one loved is a beneficiary of a pre-existing love or relationship. Philia gives because of: it implies that you know something about the person on a level that is deeper than only what lies on the surface. Agape gives in spite of: it implies that you have gone beyond the surface, have seen the flaws and still choose to love. Superficial love; familial love; soulful love; sacrificial love

[bishopbiscuits]

1. What does it mean to have family in Christ, i.e. brothers and sisters?

2. Would I let His will guide my desires, instead of my desires drive me?

3. How can I best direct my energy in honoring God, them, and myself?


.........Here are a few of the questions that I have been asked or gotten personal revelation on through the years, that have shaped how I interact with members of the opposite sex in Christ:

1. What does it mean to have family in Christ, i.e. brothers and sisters?

.........To me it meant that the nature of what we share should be about mutual/ collective growth.  The idea being to sow the Word and seed from the fruit of the spirit into each others lives.

Galatians 5:22   But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
    23  Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

..........It also means that because we didn't choose each other as family, but God chose us first individually, we must first honor God in each other. If we check our motives and attitudes, we can sow in lastingly beneficial ways in each other's lives.

2. Would I let His will guide my desires, instead of my desires drive me?

........That was a tough one, especially early on     God was first calling me to Him so He could prepare me for His work, and so that He could work out some of the issues that would sabotage my relationships in general, and my own self.

.......As I realistically looked at things, there was no way that everyone that I came across was or should be a potential "romantic partner."
...........What did this mean? It meant that I had to adjust my vision to be more like Christ's who sees and knows our value best. It meant "relax and get to know your family." It meant that though all may not be agreeable personality-wise or in some other way to me, there is surely a worth and honor that I must respect because of God in them.
........It also meant that I did not have a right to try a selfish plan or be manipulative to reach anything or anyone that God had for me. Be patient/still and know His will, or risk creating needlessly heartache, confusion, and mess within my own Christian family.

3. How can I best direct my energy in honoring God, them, and myself?
.........We must let God guide our seeking. Learn more about Him and about ourselves, which affects how we deal with others.
.......We have natural attractions and desires. We  have strengths, weeknesses, areas of excellence and areas where we need to grow. We have learned perceptions and habits that are individual to us. We need His Spirit and His Word active and flowing in our hearts and minds to help us govern these influences, and let His will be done.

...........There is a healing we can experience and a balance that we can learn through God to help us weigh  our interpretations and responses to each other.

..........I believe that we have to resist and be renewed from the teachings of a "microwave" and "shortcut" society. Learning to walk in the mind of Christ whose wisdom speaks peace to the now, the soon and distant future. 

[Imagineme]

Amen and Amen

I am still trying to get caught up