Angry...He's being abused!

[Shulamitegrl]

A close friend of mine was raised in a financially secure, well educated, cultural family. Many of his childhood friends teased him saying he was raised in the "Huxtable" home. Now as a grown man, he continues to be subjected to the  constant bitter and hateful words and behaviour of various acquaintances who are jealous of him. Many have taken advantage of his generosity and need to be accepted, by borrowing money they'll never pay back, demanding more, and then exploding angrily at him if he says no. Others try to control him, demanding his time and attention beyond what's humanly possible and if he says no he's called selfish and too good for "our kind"...I've watched him make a fool of himself, acting out of character just to gain their acceptance only to end up the butt of the joke again because he's so "proper" or "good two shoes" In my presence, he's been belittled so until I wanted to verbally attack these people for him. They call him everything from spoiled, to arrogant to a sissy. He just swallows it and if i say anything about it he gets testy with me saying 'they were just joking, why are you taking it so serious'

On his bad days it's scary to watch him stumble around, babbling like a crazy person, unable to put two thoughts together because he's wounded so badly inside but feels he can't tell anyone or speak up for himself. It angers me so because I have been in his shoes in a similar way and I know what it's like to be on the edge like that because people have judged you, because you don't know how to set boundaries and tell them "no"

I don't want to be one of the many voices telling him what to do, but i do want to share my feelings. it hurts me to see him try to drown his pain and disappointment by working till the dawn of the next day and falling asleep at the wheel on his way home Then get up in few hours and start over again. I pray but I think there are times when i should speak up but i fear losing our relationship. There are times he has snapped at me because he knows i won't retailiate. I've had to put major distance between us on a few occasions until he clears his head and can talk with some sense to me. I won't be a victim of the unhealthy treatment he permits in his life. What can i do?