Dating Difficulty

[christnchild2005]

I have never had a girlfriend and am 20 years old. I am beginning wonder what is wrong with me because women only see me as a "friend." They always say let's just be friends and I am really stressing out because I haven't had a date. I recently was saved this year and I am trying to wait on the LORD but I am really worrying and stressing out even still with prayer. Can you offer any advice to a 20 year old African American male who has never had a girlfriend.

[David Dupree]

Hi and welcome to the deepwaters forum.

I do have a bit of advice.  Thank God!  :-)  I mean  that seriously.  One of the best things that you can have are friends who are girls and want to be your friend.  Godly friendships are hard to come by and should be treasured.  Not only that, the best boyfriend/girlfriend relationships are those that are borne out of friendships first. 

One thing about friendships is that you are less pretentious with your friends..as opposed to putting on airs for a girlfriend or boyfriend.  That is a good thing cause your friend gets to see the real you.  :-)

Enjoy this time of getting to know yourself as this new creature in Christ.  Grow in Christ and get a chance to develop and mature your Christian walk. 

One of the first lessons you are taught and re-taught as a Christian is Proverbs 3:5-6.  Learn to trust and lean not to your own understanding.  Grow your faith in God.  "Oh for grace to trust Him more." 

dd

[Novelist]

From the last response I have read, having friends is a good thing, yet I could understand your concern regarding your dating status.  You are young and a new babe in Christ.  Give God the chance to mold and make you as the man you are destined to become.  The dating scene these days are hard to please, but for the most part, you want to enjoy dating for a new experience.  All I can say to this is, you have a desire like other young men and women who aim to experience.  I am 25 years old and I have not dated for centuries it feels like.  However, dating is not a bad way to get to know young ladies, for the meantime, make new friends, enjoy the growing stages of friendships to evolve. 

As a young black man, you appear to have some good qualities.  Concentrate on God and celebrate your new life with him.  I pray that everything works out for you and that you will come across good friends who will be compatible with your goals as well.  By the way, if you begin dating, know that it may take time to find the mate for your life, and I would admonish you to pray that God would do his work in you and lead you to the leading lady of your life to come.


Novelist.

[Forum Administrator]

Hello christnchild2005. Why do you want to date and how do you define dating?

I agree 100% with David: friendships are good and also a very good basis for further developing relationship. You have just entered into relationship with Christ. This is the relationship that you need to be focusing on right now. You have a whole new life in Christ to learn about and develop. Now is the time to work on becoming the best you that you can be and establishing your spiritual walk is the best place to start.

My brother, there is nothing wrong with you.  Being viewed as a friend is a great compliment. You can hang out with friends, talk with friends, go to dinner with friends and you only have to pay for yourself! 

Enjoy your friendships and don't try to make more out of them than there needs to be right now; try to make more out of you.