Deep Waters Relationship Advice

Hello Beloved,

I'd come across an email this morning & was touched to share it (before I'd gone on to church), and I pray that it blesses!

Have a winning day!

Quote

Nobody Wins By Accident...

Have you ever been just sitting there and all of a sudden,
you feel like doing something nice for someone you care for?
THAT'S GOD talking to you through the Holy Spirit.

Have you ever been just sitting there and all of a sudden,
you feel like doing something nice for someone you care for?
THAT'S GOD talking to you through the Holy Spirit.

Have you ever received something wonderful that you didn't even ask for, l
ike money in the mail, a debt that had mysteriously been cleared,
or a coupon to a department store where you had just seen something you needed, but couldn't afford?
THAT'S GOD knowing the desires of your heart..

Have you ever been in a situation and you had no clue how it was going to get better,
how the hurting would stop, how the pain would ease, but now you look back on it.
THAT'S GOD passing us through tribulation to see a brighter day!

- Author Unkown

    Dear God...

I know you're watching over me And I'm feeling truly blessed For no matter what I pray for, You always know what's best!

***********

Bless you all is my prayer today and I pray that God will keep you safe ... until we write again.


Gracious

Amen !!!

I believe you my sister!  Michael's estate could be worth BILLIONS!!!

What the ahhh ... "main stream-media" is trying to do to this "icon" is shameful!!!  Trying to fabricate any kind of dirty filthy thing ... they can think of!  The devil is truly at work with those people.  And I don't believe that Michael was capable of hurting anyone's child either. 

I didn't realize that Michael wrote most of his own songs after he'd left The Jackson 5 (aka The Jackson Brothers) ... did you??? 

So today I forced to accept the fact my father the pastor is a cheater!

I found out that he is and has been cheating on my mother with a women from the congragation, and I'm totaly heartbroken.

He tried to leave me a vm today and I heard her voice in the background, and he was not at church, he is in a different state on vacation with her. A vacation he lied and said he didn't know if he was still going on. He just left town and didn't even let me know. I called him back and told him that I hoped he had a good time where ever he was, and with whoever he was with. I told him I heard her voice and asked him how could he do this to me. How could he treat us this way. I was too overcome with emotion so I just hung up, and he never called me back.

I have cried all day. So I wrote him a letter to explain how hurt I am. How I don't understand how he can get up every Sunday and preach knowing what he is doing. I let him know that because of this I have a hard time believing that I will ever have a husband to love me.

Am I wrong for this? Or do you think I need to tell him how I feel?

I hear you! I was telling my friends last Friday that when I think of Michael's music, not one of the songs fails to remind me of happy times and good memories. In my personal opinion, I think Michael Jackson is actually a billionaire, right up there with Oprah Winfrey and Warren Buffett, but some of the people who wanted to exploit and use him want the general public and the entertainment world to believe that he was broke at the time of his death. Spiritually speaking, I hope he knew the Lord. I honestly believe he didn't do anything to the kids he had over his house. I think in his own way, he was trying to capture what he never got to experience as a child.

The music will live on, and he will definitely be missed!

Dear Michael,

I remember how you & your brothers were sooo anointed that you were able to inspire older folk all over the world to shout out loud (with children) their ABC's ... 'cause it 's as easy as 123!!!

Only God could have given you the tenacity at 12 years of age to sing about love's heart-ache in such a way that brought tears to the eyes of men & women many, many years your senior ... when you sang ... "Who's Lovin' You"!

Then God allowed you to grow into a handsome young man ... could have had any woman in this world ... I mean we ALL loved & wanted you ... JUST THAT MUCH!!!  But maybe we loved you wrongly???  Maybe we were too selfish to see what show-business had done & was doing to you & your family.   Yet you STILL produced!   

Michael my brother spirit,  I remember "Living Off The Wall".  I remember your seductive fro' ... on a poster - on MY wall ... your "Lawd' have mercy keep me Saved - smile!!!  ... 'cause that's when you looked like us!

When you changed, we ignored your cries for help, because your change gave those whom you were looking more like, an excuse to vengefully mock you, ridicule you AND steal ALL that you had worked your entire life to obtain.

Michael my sweet sensitive brother, I pray that you knew how much your People loved, respected & needed your little HUGE light.  The cares of this world are over for you now & the world is less, because you are no longer in it. 

I pray that you really knew the joy of Jesus The Christ.


...Rest well my friend...

Gracious  

Pray for me, Deep Waters staff and friends!

I am tired. My parents pretend they don't mind me being here, but they don't want me here. When they think I'm out of earshot, they some of the most unimaginably mean spirited things. My youngest sister was encouraged by them to come down here the same time I did, because she'd recently lost her job and was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, so she and my nephew came along. The ONLY reason I came to stay with them(out of state) was because it was almost time for school to start, and the teacher's union hadn't signed a contract, and were on the verge of striking. My oldest sister, who I was living with, was getting ready to move and said she didn't want anyone moving in with her. I didn't have enough money to move anywhere or a 2nd job, so I went to live with my parents out of state, thinking I'd be able to easily find a teaching job or some other job and progress with my life.

I have been here nearly two years, haven't found a job, and don't have transportation to get to places that possibly have openings. I have a small amount in my teacher's pension (under $500), and I am debating whether I should get it out or not. Going back to the city I left to live is a problem too: while for a fee I can renew my expired sub certificate and resume subbing in the fall, I also would need a full time job, so that I can find my own place to stay and pay bills. I didn't think things would go as they have in the nearly two years that I've been here. I feel I haven't made progress towards anything. Even when was working in my former city,  I just wasn't making enough.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Hi again. No, you did not give me that impression. It's just that I'm mindful that as I "speak" everything in black and white (or in this case, black and blue  ) does not always translate with the intent I'm trying to convey. I appreciate your response and I'm glad that you find some helpful advice.

I'm sorry if I gave the impression that you were even attempting to discourage me.  You were speaking more truth to me than you know!!!!! Well maybe you do know. So I do not fell discourage in any way, but I feel releaved in knowing that I'm not making a mistake by waiting and taking time on this.  Thanks again for your words of wisdom.

lenaj, be it far from me to discourage you. That's certainly not my intention. But if I can help keep you out of a relationship that will leave you feeling  "upset, drained, and emotional," then I would be grateful for that. I think it ironic that he says he will not be backed into a corner. The bottom line is this: love -- real love and the kind of love you want and need to build a relationship on -- is patient. If he's not ready to wait until you're ready, then he's not ready for marriage. Marriage is not something to be pressured into or get into for appearances sake. The things that you are seeing of his character now will show up again after you're married, but amplified. If he truly loves you he will consider (very highly) your feelings and take the steps necessary to build a foundation that is stable enough that you both want to build on. Never be unwilling to walk away from a relationship that you have no legal or moral obligation to deal with. Walking away from such a situation is not failure: it's growth. Perhaps if you express to him that this pressure to rush into marriage unreadily is enough to cause you to consider walking away from the relationship, maybe the prospect of losing a relationship with you--the same relationship that he appears to be so anxious to have--will encourage him to make you the priority and let those great qualities you say he has shine through. The number one role of a husband is to make his wife his priority, second only to God. If he is unwilling to make you a priority now, the same attitude will carry over into marriage.

I understand that no relationship is going to be perfect.  And yes there are red flags on both our parts. Honestly I stay because I do love him, and I hate to feel like I just gave up. I hate feeling like I did something wrong/the bad guy. I guess I'm really just tired of relationships ending and new ones starting. I am ready to settle down, and start a family of my own. He has a lot of great qualities, but this whole mad dash to the alter is something I just don't get, especially since he is a guy, who is only 26 and 3 years younger than me.

I will admit that since he first started mentioning wedding and thing of that nature 2 months into the relationship I was fearful that he was doing it because he wanted to be a pastor so badly.

I have tried to talk to him about making sure we at least have a good foundation, but talking to him is much like interviewing a politician. He will not directly answer questions, and says he will not be backed into a corner by me. I tell him that is not my intent, but to fully understand him.  I just end up upset, drained, and emotional cause I feel like he is being difficult on purpose.

So maybe you are right, I'm just wasting time