Deep Waters Relationship Advice

Deep Waters Diving Board => The Lighthouse [Singles' Issues] => Topic started by: forhim on September 30, 2004, 01:39:57 pm

Title: Compatibility
Post by: forhim on September 30, 2004, 01:39:57 pm
Is it considered unequally yoked to be dating an individual who is a Seven-day Adventist? The individual does not believe in speaking in tongues, attending any kinda of service on Sunday, and a host of other things. They are saved and loved God, but we butt heads on certain spirituality issues, but seem to be compatible in every other area(i.e social interest, educational background, family values, ect.)
Title: Re: Compatibility
Post by: ethereal on September 30, 2004, 02:12:36 pm
Here's my take (I'm sure Bishop will wade in on this one soon  :) )  These things may be acceptable from someone you're dating, I just don't know if anything long term can be hoped for since the foundations are not the same. "How can 2 walk together unless they agree?". What you really have to do is ask yourself, "can I be with this person w/o always looking for an opportunity to change them?" Additionally, the differences are on fundamentals, or foundations, and it's tough to build anything substantial on two different foundations.

Bishop....?
Title: Re: Compatibility
Post by: Forum Administrator on October 01, 2004, 11:46:56 am
Not necessarily. First, it is most important that you know what you believe  and why, and be ready to properly articulate that. Secondly, I recommend that you ask questions of your friend to find out exactly what he believes and why. Third, get informed yourself about the basic tenets of Adventism so that you are not depending only on what he may tell you. The following information from the Christian Research Institute (http://www.equip.org) might be helpful for a start:

Seventh Day Adventism (http://www.equip.org/free/CP0602.htm)
Does Sunday Observance Violate the Sabbath (http://www.equip.org/free/CP0715.htm)

Your spiritual beliefs are a fundamental part of who you are. Any relationship in which both individuals are not willing to do their "homework" to gain a better understanding of the person in whom they have an interest, is not a relationship worth pursuing.

If your fundamental beliefs are the same (e.g. the inspiration and authority of the Bible, the Trinity, Christ's true deity, His bodily resurrection, and salvation by grace through faith), then in my opinion, you would not be considered unequally yoked. However, you would need to work through any differing doctrinal issues to ensure harmony in your relationship (i.e. speaking in tongues, "sabbath", etc.).  If you cannot achieve unity in a "pre-marital" dating relationship without compromising the essentials of your faith (or your emotional and mental well-being), value what you can in the friendship and "look ye (i.e. keep your eye out for) for another."  ;)
Title: Re: Compatibility
Post by: David Dupree on October 02, 2004, 01:37:10 am
No, it isn't being unequally yoked just because one person worships on Sunday and the other Saturday.  

Many people have tried to equate being Seventh Day Adventist to being in a cult.

Then on the other hand, many people equate speaking in tongues with being in a cult.  

And, of course, there is a bunch that believe that anyone believing in an all powerful being is part of a cult.  

I disagree that Seventh Day Adventist is a cult.  Anyone who has studied true Adventism understands that the purpose is not to worship the Sabbath, but to worship the Lord of the Sabbath.  Of course there are those who focus more on the day than the Lord of the day.  By the same token, there are those who worship the gift of tongues more than the Giver of the gift of tongues.

I know of "mixed" couples where one spouse is SDA while the other is a Sunday worshipper.  Fortunately, the couples I speak of are well grounded and the situation has worked!  They do worship together regularly, however.  (Usually at the SDA church)  :-)

I also know of couples where one spouse has been Pentecostal and the other has been of another denomination.  Most have worked.  The one situation I know of that didn't work out...the husband was traditional Baptist.  It didn't work however, due to the husband's infidelity.  Not because of spiritual doctrinal differences per se'.

"What God has joined together, let no man separate." (Mat. 19:6) This to me includes man-made denominations.  If God has truly joined two together, then God fearing-Bible teaching-truth believing denominations should not tear the relationship apart.  "Can two walk together, except they agree?" Amos 3:3.  If they agree WITH GOD, and with one another, then leave them alone.  For it is truly man who looks on the outward appearance, yet God is looking at their hearts.  I Samuel 16:7

dd