my wife is obsessed with Nutrition

[MrD]

Hello Again, I have an additional problem that i live with everyday, my wife has completely gone bonkers over nutrition, in as much as telling me what i can and can not eat. She is constantly buying these supplements, from a chiropractor, and always doing mud backs on her feet, and hands. Wanting to test her for the downloads, by using the Omura O Ring method. she only has just about gone Vegan, so there is never much in the house to eat,and if I want to go and get something I want to eat, she throws a fit if it is processed food, or ZI may spend some money that she is holding out to buy more supplements and mud packs. She is still hurt from all the disappointment from the past that I did to her. So that is why I am afraid to tell her how i feel because she will blow up, and leave me, because I am fighting against her wishes. It is very cold around the house, we do not say much to each other, because if i say something she does not like she pitches a fit. We are not intimate at all, because she told me that all i want to do is have sex with her or feed my belly. So I have put in my mind that if she wants sex she is going tohave to ask for it, because I am tired of her talking to me like that. I love to eat out, and she will not go anywhere to eat out, anymore, because she is trying to watch her blood sugar, she is a Type 1 diabetic, and she does not go to a doctor, she is trying to read books by different N.D. 's. i know i probably have a bad attitude toward her, but she has taken my thing that I love to do, eating out. And I understand what she is trying to do, she is concerned about my health, but she is constantly jamming it down my throat . Well anyway, you get the idea. Just pray that my and her attitude will change. Thanks!

[1EagleSky]

I am sorry to hear what is going on. Let me ask you a question: have you ever shared Christian based nutrition resources from doctors and nutritionists such as Jordan Rubin ("The Maker's Diet") Dr. Don Colbert, Dr. Ted Broer, to name a few. ALL of the individuals listed suggest that before beginning any kind of diet or exercise program, see your primary care physician to assure that you are healthy enough to participate. Christian or not, any ethical doctor will tell a patient the same.

You mentioned your wife has Type I diabetes (also known as Juvenile Diabetes; that is, it developed from very early in childhood. Some are even born with it).

If she has Type I diabetes, it is especially dangerous that she doesn't see her doctor on a regular basis. Is she taking her insulin injections? Type II diabetes (also called Adult Onset Diabetes, because it develops usually in the late teen to adult years. We are seeing more and more older children and teens developing Type II diabetes, due to lack of regular physical activity and a diet comprised of too much sugar, processed foods, and fat) can be reversed with a change in diet and increased physical activity.

Have you ever had a chance to talk to any of her friends to encourage them to convince her to see the doctor? It could be that some of her personality difficulties may be rooted in her not taking care of herself and taking her medication.

Do you regularly have a set aside time together each day for prayer and meditation on the Word of God? Make sure it is a quiet and restful place.

Keep praying and showing her love and concern. A breakthrough may be on its way sooner than you think.

God bless, and my prayers are with you 

[MrD]

yes, she does listen to all the ones you mentioned, but she is so against doctors because they precribe drugs for everything, even some of the shows she watches on Christian TV tells her to stay away from doctors, she criticizes me for taking the drugs I take, she is very stubborn about that. we get into fights all the time about me going to the doctor for blood checks for my coumadin. She has really gone whacko she is always wanting me to help check her downloads, after she does a mud pack. I come out of the bedroom in the morning and she has this vial on her head holding it to her GV20. to clear her downloads. She is hardly eating anything, and she expects me to not eat anything but what is in the refrigerator which is not much. So i might have to fix me a soy cheese sandwich. And that is it. Like i said she throws a fit if I tell her I want to go out to eat, she says that the stuff in the restaurants will kill me. And she has told me she does not want any processed stuff in the house! So hear I am. Pray that she will see she is doing wrong or that my attitude will change, something has to give! Thanks!

[1EagleSky]

I say this with GREAT hesitancy, because I am deeply concerned, but is there a chance your wife may be suffering from a mental disorder (paranoia, obssessive compulsive disorder (OCD), and as I said the other day, could there be a chance that because she's not seeing a doctor on a regular basis for her diabetes treatment and eating improperly, that she's developed a chemical imbalance in her brain that is causing her unusual and difficult behavior? If this is caused by a chemical imbalance, if she would go to the doctor and get proper treatment and take her medication, the chemical imbalance will correct itself.

Please understand---I am not a medical doctor, but the scenario above could be a possible reason as to her behavior. Also, I would suggest a time period of prayer and fasting, so that God will reveal to you what the root of this problem is.

God bless, and my prayers are with you!

[David Dupree]

Hello Mr. D,

I have to say some things that you need to hear and that I do not wish to say.  But here goes:

    First of all, I agree with you that you need to make some changes.  The one thing that they always told me in pre/post marital counseling was that if you feel like you married the wrong one, then YOU become the right one.  This principle is embodied in I Cor. 13...the love chapter

I Corinthians 13  (AMPLIFIED)
" 1IF I [can] speak in the tongues of men and [even] of angels, but have not love (that reasoning, intentional, spiritual devotion such [a]as is inspired by God's love for and in us), I am only a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

    2And if I have prophetic powers (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), and understand all the secret truths and mysteries and possess all knowledge, and if I have [sufficient] faith so that I can remove mountains, but have not love (God's love in me) I am nothing (a useless nobody).

    3Even if I dole out all that I have [to the poor in providing] food, and if I surrender my body to be burned or [c] in order that I may glory, but have not love (God's love in me), I gain nothing.

    4Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

    5It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

    6It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

    7Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].

    8Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]. As for prophecy ([d]the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), it will be fulfilled and pass away; as for tongues, they will be destroyed and cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away [it will lose its value and be superseded by truth]."

The part I want you to focus on is verse 7  "love... is ever ready to believe the BEST of every person...and it endures EVERYTHING (without weakening). "  

You do not seem ready to believe the BEST of your WIFE/helpmeet/covenant partner.  Yes, the situation does not seem the best, because of what you are enduring, but we understand through the Word that we have to endure hardships as a good soldier. 

What about verse 5?  Love does not insist on its own way.  You don't have to go out to restaurants all the time do you?  Maybe you need to save that money and seed it to a ministry or missions work overseas somewhere.  Maybe you need to save that time and spend it at home with your wife.  Get delivery or take out if you must have something.  When you are at the brook like Elijah, and the brook dries up, then you must expect new opportunites.  God spoke and told Elijah that He had prepared a widow woman to sustain him. 

I hear you...you are saying, but what about her?  And I say to you, you are the priest of that home.  You have to take the leadership role and most often true leadership is servanthood. It is giving.  Jesus taught us that when He, as the leader, washed the disciples feet.   

    Therefore, if you are looking for intimacy with your wife to have your needs fulfilled, you are not putting another's (your wife) needs in front of your own.  Let me say it this way: intercourse was designed by God to be a reflection so to speak of Worship to Him.  And Worship is all about giving to God Glory for who He is, not about what He has done.  You see, Love gives.  Likewise, in intercourse, it should be about glorifying/satisfying the spouse.  Being in it for yourself is selfish.     I Cor 5 in part says "Love...is not self-seeking." 

So what happens when you aren't "getting any?"  Well you go back to verse 4.  Love endures LONG and is PATIENT and KIND.  It is not about you anyway.   Sure you may be prepared to pleasure your wife, but your wife still has to be in a mode/mood/zone to receive.  If you make it about you and not about her, why would she hasten to experience that?  But then on the other hand, if you make it about her, I believe she would do as most women and then make it about you.  Men are givers.  Women are receivers/replicators.  They will take what is given and then multiply it back to you.  Selah!

Next I would ask you (you don't have to write an answer to this in the forum) how are you preparing for the time of intimacy?  Are you touching during the day?  Are you giving little glances.  Are you helping her out?  Are you taking advantage of your wife's love language?  Do you even know what her love language is? (the five love languages: 1 words of affirmation, 2 acts of service, 3 gifts, 4 touching, 5 quality time)  Or are you just asking if you can have s e x tonight?  Married couples should never have s e x, but should always make love. Because love gives and is therefore all about how you  can satisfy the spouse as opposed to how the spouse can satisfy you. 

I said all that and can sum it up in this principle:  if you don't like what you are getting, then check what you are giving. 

ddupree