The VENT

[tippieangel]

 THIS AINT PRETTY SO IF YOU WANT TO BE INSPIRED SKIP THIS ONE     ok I woke up early just to spend a little more time with the Lord.Lack of PEACE is my issue.I hadn't been sleeping well in weeks and 2 nights ago i dreamed that there was a snake in my bed trying to bite my heal and I kept trying to smash its head. I did after much struggle and getting tangled up in the sheets.I woke up and thru bac the covers it was that real!!I 've had alot of strange dreams like that lately.  I visit this site all the time and I get so many good words from here(THANKS). I just cant seem to find my "happy". I know I had it but i just can figure out what happened to it. I have a big seceret and a HUGE lie i carry it with me everywhere i go. I can usally hide it but sometimes it shows. I have this empty spot and I try to fill it with word and pray but I can seem to hold it in and then i'm empty again. I'm scared to trust or to truley love because of the lie. What if people find out the truth. HOw will they look at me then who will I be. I feel like two different people and I have this switch I trun it on when folks can see me and off when they cant.Hence no PEACE. The Lie is that i'm happy and stable and strong and the secret is I'm a mess that has been covered up with smiles and giggles and words of encouragement and cheer. My child hood was jacked by 3 boys raping me at 10 years old (1mycousin) then telling me if I told they would kill my parents. I lived in a state of constent fear for 4 years.Then there was the physical abuse and noboby belivieng me and then the chain of jacked up realationships which lead to drinking drugs and serious depression.But I always felt like God was watching out for me some how. Fast forward to the complete break down(aka I snapped) years later with 2 kids and still runung from the hurtful hands of the men that said they loved me. Ihad to lose my mind to be happy and I had been I thought because i had to face all of that no more hiding. I THOUGHT. Now that i 've been really working on all those issues and letting God use me and my hurt to help heal some others I once again am feeling empty.WHY. am I not in the will of the Father did I do something wrong.Didnt I walk away fr all the BAD things I used to be. Didnt I allow the Lord to break me.I stopped lying to myself myfamily and my friends.I'm learning to trust Jesus in everything in my life(TRYING HARD) so y cant i find my happy. I am not strong I am weak and I am tired and Im confused and I cry out to the father for help I dont need the rain to stop cause it will make me grow but can i get a little cover please.I want so much for my life to have meaning and to be able to rest in the Lord. To feel like I dont need to trun it on and off anymore. Someone told me that its because i have purpose that i'm feel like this.I just dont know I know I'm lossing ground fast to day and I had got up early to get a little PEACE.

[David Dupree]

 Hi Tippie,

I will attempt to be brief.   
You are in a good place.  Sometimes you need to feel the emptiness so that God can fill you up with all the things He desires to have in you.  So keep smiling and looking like who you are--calling things that are not as though they were.  It will manifest.  Continue to let God empty out all the stuff from your past that attempted to hold you down/back and remember what the enemy meant for bad, God is gonna use it for His glory as you minister to many.

As you know, your dream is a direct reflection to the serpent story in Genesis 3.  The nipping at your heel is akin to the serpent nipping at Eve to deceive her.    The key is that you know the ending to the story which is that the serpent's head was bruised by the heel which is what happened in your dream.  My sister, you should watch out for a very subtle attack on you;  something that will appeal to a weak area in your life.  But it is through this same weak area that the Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against the enemy.  Hold fast to your faith. See this dream as a warning and stay on guard/God.  You are yet victorious!

Part of this attack is reflected in your Venting.  The lie is not how you look to people.  That is who you really are.  The lie is that the enemy lets you believe that you are just putting on a front and feeling so desolate when you are away from people.  Girl that enemy is still a liar and that is the Biggest Lie of ALL.  The enemy wants to thwart your purpose believing if he caused you to have a breakdown before, he can do it again.  He is still a liar!!!!

We in the church world have heard it enough that we know fear is still
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

That's all I will say in the public forum.  I may have to catch you on a private message later.

dd

[Gracious]

Hi Tippie,

I will attempt to be brief.   
You are in a good place.  Sometimes you need to feel the emptiness so that God can fill you up with all the things He desires to have in you.  So keep smiling and looking like who you are--calling things that are not as though they were.  It will manifest.  Continue to let God empty out all the stuff from your past that attempted to hold you down/back and remember what the enemy meant for bad, God is gonna use it for His glory as you minister to many.

As you know, your dream is a direct reflection to the serpent story in Genesis 3.  The nipping at your heel is akin to the serpent nipping at Eve to deceive her.    The key is that you know the ending to the story which is that the serpent's head was bruised by the heel which is what happened in your dream.  My sister, you should watch out for a very subtle attack on you;  something that will appeal to a weak area in your life.  But it is through this same weak area that the Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against the enemy.  Hold fast to your faith. See this dream as a warning and stay on guard/God.  You are yet victorious!

Part of this attack is reflected in your Venting.  The lie is not how you look to people.  That is who you really are.  The lie is that the enemy lets you believe that you are just putting on a front and feeling so desolate when you are away from people.  Girl that enemy is still a liar and that is the Biggest Lie of ALL.  The enemy wants to thwart your purpose believing if he caused you to have a breakdown before, he can do it again.  He is still a liar!!!!

We in the church world have heard it enough that we know fear is still
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

That's all I will say in the public forum.  I may have to catch you on a private message later.

dd

Hello My Susta' Tippieangel,

How are you Sweetiepie? 

PLEASE hear our brother by reading & re-reading & RE-READING ... Bro. Dupree's message to you (until "IT" get's absorbed into your spiritman) ... Amen?

Here I was (jus' mindin' my "own" business) & BOOM ... Dupree's message to you, had the nerve to ... "tap ME on my shoulder" ... (in others word ... by reading Dupree's response to you ... the HOLY SPIRIT spoke to me / ministered to my spirit, about an issue I'm dealing with RIGHT NOW ... that has not a 'ting to do with yours ... yet is a valley experience for me ... Amen?

Yeah ... I LUUUUV this site too, & I thank GOD for you having the courage to share, because as you can see, your sharing helps many ... even when we least expect it   


Luvin' ya my sista',


Gracious 

[LENA]

Hey Ms. Tippieangel ....
I read a few post every now and then and I just wanted to say Thank you for your transparentcy!!!
I really can't offer more than what's already been said, but today your post of how you felt really helped me today. So once again thank you. And remember when you are down to NOTHING, God is up to SOMETHING!

Be Blessed.

[tippieangel]

For anyone who Reads The VENT

So I still get up early just to find a little peace Praise God that if you seek you will find!!!!! KNow I get up with thanksgiving in my heart and praise on my lips!!!I still have things I want to change but instead of beating my self up or letting those things beat me down I give them over to my Father. He has made provision for ALL things I encounter!!! The last dream(vision) I had there were still snakes and this time there was a fence and it surrounded my family.The snakes were after my sons!! I couldn't do anthing but try to put them in the house. But then this Giant LIOn with a mans face jumped the fence and killed the snakes!!!! Hello if that aint JESUS i don't know what is. See I had to go thru some stuff to get some clarity So I would learn to trust my visions God has been trying to show me what's coming and sometimes whats going. So this time I woke up and I thaked God for his MERCY HIS PROTECTION And HIs Love!!! His mercy saw me thru-his protecion keep the enemy for harming me - HIs love SAVED ME. Thank God for the day when we ALL VENT