Confront it or let it go?

[LENA]

I was dating a young man at my church, things didn't work out and we broke up. While we were together there was a lady at church that would pursue him. Of course it made me upset, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want the drama that might come along with it. Now that we are not together she still pursues him. This isn't the first time that she has done this to someone at our church and I honestly feel that she has a serious self esteem issue, that causes her to pursue men that are evolved in relationships. I know that she has been battling thoughts of suicide and I don't want her to be hurt even more. Should I talk to her about it or let it go?

[Gracious]

Hello Lena & welcome my freind:

While reading your post, there are a few ways of addressing your situation that came to mind (e.g. answering you directly or allowing you (your spirit-man ... the Holy One within you) to answer your own question ...so I went to the LORD and asked the Holy Spirit to deliver ... and the following is what HE shared with me for you.

Relationships - "The R word"

There is an in depth "thread" on this site that deals with "The R word" ... from an intimate perspective:

Life Issues Affecting Relationships / Re: The Cycle

http://www.deepwaters.info/forum/index.php?topic=520.0

An Aside:
Before I go on, I want you to know that the Forum Administrator and Moderators and Members (if I may speak for her & them  ), have promoted and maintained a healthy Godly atmosperic tone here, ergo we are admonished to be honest, yet not to hack-up one another's spirit-man...leaving a saint bitter & broken...I have learned to trust and see the honesty / the truth of GOD's character here, and you will too...Amen?    GOD  is always praised here & has smiled on the leadership with "praise reports" from it's members!!! 

******************

My prayer is that you read the thread "The Cycle", it will help you yourself to be set free from the "relationship" roller-coaster ride, so that you can freely minister to your freind / your sister who is hurting. 

I say this because we are spirit-first...Amen? Meaning, every soul ever created, communed with our Heavenly Father FIRST...

(before every human being was birthed - GOD knew us intimately before we trevailed from heaven to earth)

... and when Jesus died on the "CROSS" and ascended into heaven - simotaneously was sent us a "Comforter", a WAY by which we who remain, shall ever be connected with GOD / HIS WISDOM ...  As HE has placed this connection within every human soul, and "IT" is known to us as the HOLY SPIRIT!!!

Perhaps, the reason you are battling with how or whether you should approach your freind with "her issue", is probably because you have not completed / resolved this same issue within yourself (being attracted to the "wrong man for the wrong reasons"), and GOD is calling you (through the wisdom acheived through the  HOLY SPIRIT) to resolve this, and your mind / your flesh is telling you to ignore HIM.

Read the thread my sista' ... do the  inner work - get "your" healing, and then allow GOD to direct you regarding how you should receive your hurting freind.

Gracious[/color]

[David Dupree]

Hi Lena and welcome to DeepWaters!

I pray you will heed the words of Gracious and read carefully 'The Cycle." 

Additionally, I will strongly caution you.  It isn't in the scripture and yet it is true: "things aren't always what they seem."

If you wish to befriend this lady, then do so only honestly and without pretention of what you perceive is her "problem." 

From your post you only perceive...maybe you have even heard; but you don't know.  Maybe in knowing her you will come to understand what you perceive is her pursuing.  Maybe she is close to men in relationships because women won't geniunely befriend her and all she is looking for is a friend and not a relationship.  Or she may be looking for some affirmation.  So there is safety in men spoken for already.

You must also be cautious because the enemy is soooo crafty. The enemy may desire for you to see certain behavior the way he wishes for you to see it.  He wants to keep the people of God divided.  As one who has been perceived wrongly many times, I would advise you to ignore your perceptions. 

"Wisdom is still the principal thing therefore, get wisdom; but in all thy getting, get understanding. "

dd

[Forum Administrator]

Hi Lena. Let it go as far as your thoughts to "confront." This was never a 'you' issue. If this lady "pursued" your person of interest while you were in relationship, as long as he did not respond inappropriately, it still was a non-issue for you. If he had responded inappropriately -- and I read no indication that he did -- he would have been the one to confront not her. The responsibility is always on the one who is in relationship, not on the one who is not in the relationship or may be trying to interfere with the relationship.

Now that the two of you are not together, it's really a non-issue... all the more reason for you to let it go. I would recommend that if you are truly concerned about this woman's future relationships and well-being, you sincerely lift her up in prayer. But wisdom would seem to dictate that you might not be the best person to approach her about anything of this nature since she would more than likely question your motive and/or intent.