Knowing God's Will for My Marriage

[Hope]

I became a Christian several years ago.  My husband and I had grown apart after years of building up walls.  When God came into my life, He told me in no uncertain terms to "Teach your husband about me."  I know I have been under God's protection for the past few years.  God gave me reassuring signs of hope to continue to pray for my marriage and my husband's salvation.  God has been so faithful and I am aware of at least three times when God reached out to my husband but unfortunately, my husband only reached back for a short while.

My husband has been unfaithful and it started about the same time as my salvation.  Deep down I knew about the unfaithfulness but I really did have the hope and protection of God to continue to show my husband the love of God.  My husband had talked about moving out for a while and I encouraged him to do so back in April.

Immediately after moving out, my husband began to read his Bible and I could tell God was reaching out to him.  However, this was short lived.

After confronting my husband about his affair in July, I told him I wanted a divorce.  

I am struggling with this.  Should I think that God asking me to teach my husband about Him means God wants me to stay married?  I have been obedient to God.  My pastor says God does not dangle carrots in front of us.

I have asked God if He wants me to continue to pray for our marriage and I am not sure if the answers I am getting are from Him or wishful thinking on my part.

Thanks for the opportunity to post and please pray for me to know God's will for my life.

[Rodney]

Be encouraged my friend, God  is ever-present, even in the midst of a hard decision. The best way to your answer 1st must be with a clear heart, a clear mind, a clear spirit. Father, in Jesus name touch your daughter with a spirit of peace, and suffer peace in her heart as she lay in this hard place. Let her know that yea though she walk through the valley of the shadow of deceisions, You, O Lord are with her. You knew she would be here before she knew that she would be at this place. Deliver her from the pressure, and deliver her to the comfort of your will for her life and marriage. I speak the spirit of wisdom into her and the spirit of knowledge and understanding into her. I bind confusion and command the angels of darkness to stop oppression in her marriage, in the precious name of Jesus. I plead The Blood of Jesus from the crown of her head to the soles of her feet. Let her know that you will through your Word lead her out as you have in the past. I thank you Great King for your healing  in this marriage, for your Words to her shall not be in vain. What you spoke to her shall come to pass. Touch her husband with a sense of purpose that he may walk with desire, straight to your Heart, that he will love his wife in the most healthy way possible, and with The Love of Christ. She cries to know thy will, suffer it to be so now my LORD. I bless your Holy name Jesus, Amen...

[Forum Administrator]

Hi Hope. Sometimes when we become Christians, life becomes more difficult because the enemy of our souls then begins to rage war against us. We know the enemy is against our marriages and he certainly does not want to see your husband come to salvation. It is not surprising to me that your situation worsened right after you came to know Christ.

In spite of the problems you and your husband had been having prior to your salvation, the moment you became a Christian, God did something wonderful in your marriage. Even though your husband has not yet accepted the Lord, the moment you did, God set your marriage apart because of you. You now have an even greater reason to hope because you have the power of God available to you to help you, not only in your daily walk, but in your marriage.

One very powerful weapon you have at your disposal is prayer. Now is not the time to become anxious: now is the time to enter the battle of the bended knee. God has promised that the prayers of the righteous--which you are--accomplishes a lot (James 5:16).

If God told you to teach your husband about him, then that is what you must do. 1 Peter 3:1-2 talks about how you, as a godly wife, can be the tool that God uses to draw your husband to himself. But if you are going to teach your husband about God, you must teach him something about forgiveness. It could be that God instructed you to teach your husband about him knowing that you would struggle with this very issue. Remember also, that it is the goodness of God that leads us to repentance. This is another aspect of God that you can teach your husband.

I understand that the pain of his unfaithfulness was what prompted you to ask for a divorce, but I have to ask: is that what you really want? I'm not in any way suggesting that you live with infidelity. You need to set boundaries and appropriate consequences for that type of behavior which is totally unacceptable. But if your marriage ends, don't let it be because of a response given out of hurt and anger. Your marriage is worth more than that.

There are always consequences for sin, and the way of the transgressor (one who knows the right thing to do but does the wrong thing anyway) is hard. So I'm sure your husband is struggling on many fronts. But remember, the same grace (undeserved favor) that God has made available to you is available to your husband. If God has asked you to be His ambassador to your husband, He will give you the grace to do it. In the meantime, see to it that you get the help and support that you need in order to deal with your own woundedness.

Hope, do as your name suggests, but hope in the One who saved you and has the power to change your situation. If you are seeking God's will, He will surely direct you in the way you should go. Once we pray and ask for God's direction (Proverbs 3:5,6), then we can with confidence move in the direction that we believe is right trusting that God will do as He says and direct our paths.

Why not reach out to your husband again, but with the condition that you both attend counseling to try to break down those walls and reconcile the relationship? I believe that this is what is in your heart to do. If you have not already done so, please review/print out the following posts:
My husband has other ladies
He's staying out for the weekend (Eventhough this post involved a husband and wife who are both saved, there is information in my response that is relevant to your situation.)
My husband caused a lot of pain being unfaithful

If I can be of assistance in helping you locate a counselor in your area, please let me know. I will be praying earnestly for you and your husband, and I ask that those who view this post do the same. Feel free to use Deep Waters as often as you need as you go through this. That is what we are here for.