How can I feel whole without feeling empty?

[Novelist]

For quite sometime, I have been single for the past few years without going on dates.  Although I am occupying myself with Church, School, Involving myself in different activities, I feel empty.  The emptiness of being someone's heart.  Yes, I know that God loves me and I am a jewel in his eyes, but naturally as a woman, I feel a vacancy in my heart.  I want to be whole by knowing who I am in God, yet I want to be someone's valentine for a change.  It's not that simple, but at least someone could think great of me.  Even now, I have daily struggles accept myself and knowing that I am worth more.  Excerpts from the scriptures, lessons I have received were geared in the single arena.  By in taking all of those words of wisdom, knowing that God has a plan for my life, those are the words of a lifetime.  What about the meantime?  When will my turn come around without feeling left out, alone, or broken down?  I have paid an expense to be loved, instead I was tampered, hampered and become tense.  Now everything does not make sense.

This is a time for me to embrace, enjoy, and experience as I understood long ago.  My time is precious to me and I do not want to be alone.  I have a heart to love God, love me, and someone else.  I know the important of being whole, but my patience is running of out control.  I want to become a mother someday without wondering if I will be too old to have them.  I am 25 my life has begun before then.  I believe that if I do not date within the next 2 years, how can I expect to date, get engaged, get married, try to enjoy my life, and then have children?  It's all about time.  I know that I am a bit dramatic on time, but tomorrow is not promised to us and I must feel my wholeness now or I will continually feel empty.  God is always there for me and I want him to stay, but I have prayed that I would be sent to someone as well.  Is this the right way to think?  Am I overly anxious?  I just want to have the things of my heart before it is too late.  

For too long, I anticipated a time for me to regenerate and reinvent myself by having the time to travel, earn my education, work on myself, and do exciting things.  Right now, the Young and the Dateless is not the place I want to be for years to come.  I am fearful, worrisome of how my life would be 3 years from now and if I would accomplish that part of my life as being someone's wife, mother.  Right now, I am many things and I want to become more and more.  Though the responsibility comes, I want to be ready for it.  I need to feel whole and complete without emptiness haunting again and again.  How can I combat this feeling?

[ethereal]

I have thoughts on the entire missive, but I wanted to zero in on a few.

I believe that if I do not date within the next 2 years, how can I expect to date, get engaged, get married, try to enjoy my life, and then have children?

Why do you believe this? How did your mind get to this point?

Is this the right way to think?  Am I overly anxious?  I just want to have the things of my heart before it is too late.  

It's not right to think negatively and if you have to ask if you're being overly anxious, chances are you might be. As for being "too late", that is in accordance to what we as humans think of as "time". B/c God is not restricted to hours, days, etc and we are, we continuosly struggle with our inability to wait patiently for our time to come.

I am fearful, worrisome of how my life would be 3 years from now

Remember that little note wriiten by that dude named Paul that said something about...what was it again?..oh yeah, "be anxious for nothing but in all things by prayer and supplication, let your request be known to God". Now I know that you know this one, I just thought I'd jog your memory  

How can I combat this feeling?

Hopefully by believing, with everything in you, that "The Father knows what you need of before you ask Him". I hope my rantings helped.
 

[bishopbiscuits]

....Although you are involved in many Christian activities, have any of them truly tapped into your gift(s)?
.....Is there a talent that you have that is connected to your sense of divine purpose?
.....Is it being ignored or hindered by just being busy, or by the internal war that seems to be going on? Part of your fulfillment may be linked to how you allow Christ to channel the spiritual flow that comes from your intimacy with Him.
......Within the past year or so I made a decision.
Because I know part of the work God has for me, I finally accepted the challenge of truly embracing it by developing and operating in my gift(s). I decided to charge myself to honor Christ more honestly and faithfully. I am doing work now that satifies me more.
...........I recognize your practical concerns, and the natural desires that you have. I  have not dated in a long time, but am looking towards the future myself.
...........I don't have any answers about the dating scene, but I made a choice when I was in my mid-twenties. I chose to not live as a victim of my romantic wishes. I used to write poetry with romantic themes, but I had to let amorous poetry alone. There was no one to share it with, so indulging in it left me frustrated.
 .....It is good to be aware of your desires, because as God brings things to the surface of your heart and mind, you are consciously able to submit them to His wisdom and timing. The daily test is do we trust Him with them today?
.......If there is anything that I have hidden in my heart from God, it becomes a breeding ground for selfishness,resentment, fear, or pride . If they remain in my heart instead of being spoken to by God's word  in faith and given in prayer  to Him, they will alter my spiritual vision, and compromise my peace.  
......I trust and believe God for my  future mate. I know that He is preparing myself and herself. My curiosity naturally inquires  who,what,when , where, how,and why? I cannot answer these questions , so I put them in the refrigerator, letting my confidence in God keep them cool.
......I let Him keep my heart , so that I may be better able to share it well with others.
.....I choose to enjoy the  season that I am in,while preparing for the next season. Your time will come, so don't miss it by being too caught up in why it didn't come when you wanted it.

[Forum Administrator]

Novelist, both ethereal and bishopbiscuits have shared some good advice. Here is what came to mind as I meditated on your post:

"A woman, a Samaritan, came to draw water. Jesus said, "Would you give me a drink of water?" (His disciples had gone to the village to buy food for lunch.)
The Samaritan woman, taken aback, asked, "How come you, a Jew, are asking me, a Samaritan woman, for a drink?" (Jews in those days wouldn't be caught dead talking to Samaritans.)
Jesus answered, "If you knew the generosity of God and who I am, you would be asking me for a drink, and I would give you fresh, living water."
The woman said, "Sir, you don't even have a bucket to draw with, and this well is deep. So how are you going to get this "living water'? Are you a better man than our ancestor Jacob, who dug this well and drank from it, he and his sons and livestock, and passed it down to us?"
Jesus said, "Everyone who drinks this water will get thirsty again and again. Anyone who drinks the water I give will never thirst--not ever. The water I give will be an artesian spring within, gushing fountains of endless life."
The woman said, "Sir, give me this water so I won't ever get thirsty, won't ever have to come back to this well again!"" - John 4:7-15 (The Message)

Take a lesson from this Samaritan woman who knew what it was like to be empty and who tried to fill that emptiness in the arms of men. How can you feel whole without feeling empty? Develop an intimate relationship with the One who is able to fill all the empty places in your life.

Novelist, you are not yet convinced that it is God who is able to fulfill all your needs. Until you stop looking to "man" to complete you, you "will get thirsty again and again." Ask God to fill the emptiness in your life. Let your prayer be as the words of this song:

Fill my cup, Lord; I lift it up Lord.
Come and quench this thirsting of my soul.
Bread of Heaven, feed me 'til I want no more;
Fill my cup, fill it up, and make me whole.