Being Single Is Not Easy

[Novelist]

Sometimes I wonder will I ever come across the man that is meant for me.  Although there is someone out there for everyone, I doubt myself sometimes.  Do I have what it takes to love another man?  Will he love me in spite of my faults, mistakes, and my past?  I have a difficult time measuring up to the standards because I am still molding as a woman.  Love is universal and everyone should have someone to love, but with all the problems in the world, whether personal or beyond, others as myself would still feel the loneliness.  Often, I begin to join groups, become social, stay committed to the choir and other activities, which will keep me centered and around others.  Yet, at times I want my solitude for peace of mind, focus and recollecting my thoughts.  At times, I feel agitated, not wanting to share the love because people have a way of getting to me, especially family members.  My family does not understand my singleness and being a woman at all times.  I am just an ordinary woman trying to make it in this world and hopefully get the happiness I truly desire.

It is not easy to see couples holding hands, going to the beach, sitting beside each other, going to restaurants, and laughing about things.  Those are the desires of my heart toward a relationship.  I am 25 and I have been single for so long, I would not know the first step as to how to behave on the first date.  First dates for me goes back to at least 2001.  It has been that long for me and I am affected by this.  I always hear messages about singleness and being patient, which is know is important.  Right now, I am not patient.  I am getting older and would like to have a family in the future.  I am a woman who has compassion, creativity, intelligent, and have a Bachelors Degree in Business.  In addition, I aim to pursue more so that I can provide for myself on a better level and hopefully before I have a family or get married, I can be more established and I am not sure if this is the reason I am single.  I am not sure if it is because of my looks, my body, maybe my attitude, my personality seem ok, but I know there is more growing for me.  Sometimes, I am angry with myself because I could have done a better job with my appearance than just being ordinary, step out of the zone and be more aggressive.  Help me, what should I do?

[ethereal]

I'm older than you, so it may be a little different. Maybe not. Being single is NOT always easy, but it is most often necessary. All of the time that we spend single is an opportunity to improve who we are. There are some things that can only be broached as a couple, but there are a host of things that can only be accomplished by yourself. I didn't involve myself in a lot of extracurricular activities, I just enjoyed all of the perks that came with not being in a relationship. No schedules, no tiffs, no compromises, etc.

As for your looks/appearance: You are who you are. Bottom line. If you feel as though you want to do something to improve yourself (short of an "extreme makeover"), go for it! You said that you were angry b/c you had not done more. Well, do more! Love everything about who you are and I'll tell you this: If a man cannot love you in spite of....then not only is he NOT a man, but he's certainly not the man for you.