Premarital Counseling

[HisPurpose]

Hello All,

I am newly engaged and wanted to find a good counselor for premarital counseling.  Unfortunately my church only offers group classes once a week and because of my fiance's work schedule that particular day isn't good for us.  Therefore we were searching for a counselor that did one on one coupled counseling instead of the group counseling. 

Any suggestions??? 

HisPurpose

[encouraged]

I think you should talk to your pastor and explain to him your situation. Maybe your pastor or one of the assistant pastors or ministers can meet with you and your fiance for one on one counseling. If they are not available, maybe there are some faith based non profit organizations in your area that can assist you. Pre marital counseling is a good choice. Congratulations and I hope you are able to work something out.

[David Dupree]

Hello HisPurpose! 


Two things I would suggest immediately.  1)  That your fiance sacrifice some work and go to the group premarital counseling with you.  If your fiance cannot or will not preplan to be off from work a couple of weeks ahead of time, then I question your fiance's commitment to the long haul of your pending nuptials.

You both have to find a way to put the time in.   

2)  That you don't take no for an answer to getting off work.  If the job is that important and your fiance that important to the job then they should be flexible enough to allow your fiance to go to a class and then come back to work.  Your fiance should be willing to work longer, later, extra, whatever it takes to make the premarital class. 

The group sessions will be very good for you.  It is good to have that interaction with other hopefully likeminded couples.  It will be sobering and enlightening for the both of you. 

Also, let your fiance suggest or find a one on one counselor.  May I also suggest that if it is private, although not totally necessary, it would be good if it was counseling with a husband/wife team. 

In the meantime, check with some of the churches that your church fellowships with and see if they have premarital groups or couples premarital counseling.  Maybe they will meet on a day conducive to your fiance's schedule. 

ddupree

[HisPurpose]

Hello All,

Thanks for your responses.

He has asked before if he could take off to attend the sessions, however unfortunately his job as a police officer isn't that flexible.

I will keep searching, however if you all hear of something please let me know. 

HisPurpose

[David Dupree]

Hi His Purpose,

Even as a police officer, if he knows he has something coming up two weeks away and asks for the time, or to do a half day or something, I'll bet he would get it.  If he explains it to his boss and sets the dates and times, he may not get them all, but I would be willing to bet he would get some of them.  If it is tuesday and the meeting is on Thursday and he asks to get off, of course they are going to tell him no.  But he has to also be forward looking and ask up in advance. 

One of the mandates for most police organizations is to help families since police are one of the leading professions for divorce.  So I doubt that he could never get  off to make any of the sessions.  Just doesn't make good sense. 

dd

[saved]

Hi HisPurpose and others!

Not sure where you live but I live in North Carolina and am one of the couselors for premarital couseling at my church. I understand Dupree's concern about your fiance's job schedule as I've counseled a few couples where the male (on one occasion the female) was in the same profession as your fiance and was given leave from thier job for couseling. As a police office this is a given as they have leave in place for those times (considering the job - stressful) when one would have to take leave for couseling. I understand every situation is different but just wanted to put that out there.

If you live in my neck of the woods let me know and I'll share some resources with you.

Also just curious....would this happen to be the guy you mentioned in your other post who told you celebacy wasnt for him? And if not, share a little about this guy and why you feel its time that you two marry?

Congrats on your engagement! 

[Forum Administrator]

Hi HisPurpose. CONGRATULATIONS! You are certainly off to a good start by seeking out wise counsel. One of the things we are trying to build on is our counseling network. Please take a look and see if anything is in your area.

Also, if we (my husband, David, and I) can be of help to you, please feel free to bounce any questions/concerns off us via personal message. Please let us know how you're making out.