What in the world?

[monica53]

This is the situation. A little over a year ago, my best friend and I were  in a relationship (it only lasted for about 6-7 weeks). We still hang out about once a week, sometimes more. We said that we were just going to be friends, but the line between friendship and relationship seem to always become foggy. We are not showing romantic affection towards each other. In fact, I really don't think that we have blurred the lines of our friendship since our breakup.

Last week, he stated that we were blurring these, but he didn't tell me why. We haven't even done anything. The last time we had a conversation like this he put most of the blame on me. I do still have feelings for him, but I don't know if it is romantic or if I just like him in a best friend type of way. Either way I am not ready to be in a relationship right now. There are so many things
that God is working on in me and I am not quite ready for a relationship (I think the same goes for him).

I love my friend (platonically) and I really want to remain his friend, but I don't know if I can. It seems like every time we get close and comfortable in our friendship he says that we are blurring the lines.  I think he gets scared and his emotions get involved (even though he says that they don't). And if we are blurring the lines of our friendship, he shouldn't place the blame on
me when he does the majority of the calling.

I must admit we are extremely close. Like I said we are best friends. What's up with him? Are his feeling getting involved? Can a man and a woman be this close without catching feelings? If so, what boundaries do we establish?

With all this said, I must tell you that he is a minister at the same small church that I attend. We are also partners in ministry. So what am I to do, what am I to say?

[Gracious]

"...The last time we had a conversation like this he put most of the blame on me. I do still have feelings for him, but I don't know if it is romantic or if I just like him in a best friend type of way. Either way I am not ready to be in a relationship right now..."

"...I must admit we are extremely close. Like I said we are best friends. What's up with him? Are his feeling getting involved? Can a man and a woman be this close without catching feelings? If so, what boundaries do we establish?..."

Dear Sister,

I hear your confusion, and I have been there (where you are right now...exact situation...almost word for word), and all that I can say is:

At some point in your life, your "heart" has to change in order for YOU to change, so that you will receive / attract, the kind of "relationship" (there goes that "R" word again) that will fit perfectly with your destiny in HIM (your FATHER in heaven).

(Brace yourself, cause what your about to read is stinging, but necessary for you to move past where you are.)

Simply because you as a woman, grow close / are attracted to, a man that "goes to church"...AND... holds a "position" there, doesn't necessarily mean that GOD will bless your union (bonding) even more, or any more (for that fact) than if you were to grow close and or be attracted to a drug-dealing pimp.  STAY WITH ME NOW  ... I mean who's to say which is worse ... the drug dealing pimp, who holds your flesh hostage, or the preacher who perverts your soul, by abusing your spirit!!!

For we know from scripture, that GOD is no respector of persons ... meaning ... the world (your flesh & satan) sees and knows / judges you by your actions (your form), GOD on the other hand judges you (seperates the good & bad of you ...the "wheat from the tear" in you) by your heart.

What concerns me most deeply with you, are two things and I've reference them by quoting you above, and they are:

• "...The last time we had a conversation like this he put most of the blame on me..."



• "...What's up with him? ..."

My Sister, (and I say this with true agape love in my heart for you)  a WORD to the WISE should be sufficient ... Amen?

If someone abuses you by betraying your trust, that is a serious spiritual issue!!! And the ONLY way that person should be given your trust again, is if you are lead to do so by the HOLY SPIRIT, and 100% of the time, HE-GOD will make this known to you in stages. In other words, GOD will unction you to "try" the spirit that comes from that individual again & again ... until there is divine peace within you!!!

To make it even plainer, your emotional well-being is YOUR responsibility and should be valued GREATLY!!! Anyone (any spirit) that intrudes upon your emotions by causing confusion (the back & forth... blurring the lines stuff you spoke of) is NOT your freind, and you would do yourself a GREAT service to distance yourself from him immediately!!!

Why are you trying to figure him out??? "...What's up with him? ..." ... when YOU are the one that needs the attention here???

(We women are sooooo caught-up in the WHY's) Look susta'... GOD knows why, and HE never said that HE had to reveal everything that happens in your life ... to you. Soooo, ACCEPT that GOD loves you and wants only HIS very best for you ... drop-kick this brutha' minista' to the kirb ....WITH THE QUICKNESS ... EN' GIT TA' STEPPIN'!!!) Amen?

Rebuke all this ... "He's soooo this & that, and see the enemy for what he is ... cunning, charming, ambitious, exciting, makes my mind & body wanna...go HMMMMMM...cause' that's not HIM (GOD) ... that's him ... you n' your imagination.

If you REALLY desire SUCCESS in a RELATIONSHIP with the RIGHT man for YOU!!! ... then ... point your browser below (the thread is entitled "The Cycle" and I continue to refence it ... because my heart changed / life perspective changed after reading it ... Amen?):

http://www.deepwaters.info/forum/index.php?topic=520.0        double-click - and READ IT ALL!!!

Because, I am a living witness to what GOD can do ... if you use this tool as an impetise to open your Bible with a worship enriched heart & THEN ... ACT, as the HOLY SPIRIT moves within you!!!

Truly my prayers are with you sweetie, and SUCCESS is not beyond you, "it" is above, and HIS HANDS are open -waiting /pointing towards you, to guide you to a sweeter fulfillment!!!

What in the World

INDEED!!!

[/color]

1 John 4:4 (KJV)

You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.

[/color]


Gracious

[tippieangel]

Wow I'ma be Praying for you cause that has got to be a tense situation to say the least. Don't have answer for you at all just that you be careful in that water.The devil has a way of making things look o.k. that really just are jacked up. "I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smoothThese are the things I will do for them." Isaiah 42:16