What does it mean to be Single?

[Novelist]

What is the definition of single to everyone?  In my opinion, it means to be whole, yet sometimes I do not feel whole.  A part of me feels empty.  To define "status" you may check single, never married, but there is no box for single with a boyfriend/girlfriend or single, with desires of a mate.  There are no boxes for these.  Single is one.  Sometimes, it feels like, "the one and lonely" I am tired of feeling lonely.  What should I do to get over this after many attempts to accept the fact that I may be single for the rest of my life?  It is scary life is not promised to us forever and what if I never have the family I desired to have someday?

[David Dupree]

Nov. ,

   I have always been of the opinion that most of the time in our churches, we have singles ministries, not because the unmarrieds are whole, but because often they are striving to be whole.

   You are correct that single means whole.  And if you do not feel whole, then it naturally follows that you may not be single. Single also means "one."  You are still in progress.  But you still call yourself single-one-because the Bible is clear that we can call those things that are not as though they were. 

   Please let me remind you that single is not the opposite of married.  Unmarried is the opposite of married.  I hope that you remember this.  Part of the process of becoming whole is that you build yourself up in the most Holy faith so that being lonely or only does not phase you because you have a contentent that surpasses all understanding. 

   The life doesn't have to be scary.  You make it scary when you don't submit to God's process for you.  "Many are the plans in a man's (or woman's) heart, but God's purpose shall prevail."  Prov. 19:21

   As humans, we often believe me make our own life.  But as blood-washed Christian believers, we must recognize that purpose and process is found not inourselves, the creation, but in the Creator.  Just work the plan.  Whatever state you find yourself in, learn to be content. 

   Sure, we should desire good things, but we should be bendable enough to know there is a Higher will who knows the plans He has for us.  So if our desires do not manifest and God's does, then our life has been fruitful and blessed beyond measure.  But God is not going to let you take care of His business and He not take care of yours.  Too often, we are so wrapped up in taking care of our business that we do not take care of Kingdom building.  But if we seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, all these "things" will be added unto us-you! 

dd

[Novelist]

I appreciate your comment and I am going to take one day at a time with everything.  The process is the most difficult part of life and it hurts.  Thank you for your spiritual counsel because truthfully, I need it.  I have to remember what single means and not allow life to scare me with the future.  I am so wrapped up in the future until I forget about today.  I can get carried away with things like this because it becomes sensitive to me due to the fact of being single, going through changes in my life at a young age, and continuing to grow.  I will try to remember that unmarried is the opposite of married.  Thanks for sharing and God bless you.


Novelist.