How can you tell if he is the one?

[Girl Talk]

I am dating someone and we both have experienced hurt in our past relationships. Sometimes we have a difficult time communicating. I have asked the Lord to take this man out of my life if He doesn't see him as part of the plan He has for my life. Every other person I met and prayed this same prayer about, God has taken them out of my life so fast it wasn't funny. When I first met him I saw him as my soul mate.

I prayed about this relationship and he is the only person who's still around. How can you tell if he is the one?

[Forum Administrator]

I am dating someone and we both have experienced hurt in our past relationships. Sometimes we have a difficult time communicating. I have asked the Lord to take this man out of my life if He doesn't see him as part of the plan He has for my life. Every other person I met and prayed this same prayer about, God has taken them out of my life so fast it wasn't funny. When I first met him I saw him as my soul mate.

I prayed about this relationship and he is the only person who's still around. How can you tell if he is the one?

How will I know he is the one is one of the more common questions that I am asked. If you want to know if he (or she) is best suited for you, put him (or her) in the POT:

Pray
We can easily get caught up in what we see and hear. We view things primarily from an external perspective, but God looks at the heart. In the area of choosing a spouse, wisdom and discernment are needed. Ask God for wisdom to choose in a manner that is pleasing to Him, and ask for discernment that you might gain insight into the heart, character and intent of the person. Ask God to help you to see as He sees. If it's not love in God's sight, it can't be love at first sight. (1 Samuel 16:7; Jeremiah 17:9,10; James 1:5) While you are praying...

Observe
In my book, I refer to an expression that says, time has a big mouth, and if you give something enough time, it will tell you everything you need to know. Don't be in a hurry to make your selection. Take your time. We are advised to walk circumspectly: that means to walk around a thing (or person) and examine it/him/her closely. (Ephesians 5:15,16; I Timothy 5:22). While you are observing...

Trust
Take God at His word. He encourages us to trust Him with all our heart, and admonishes us not to lean on our own understanding. He has promised to give you guidance if you ask Him for direction. (Proverbs 3:5,6; Psalm 32:8).

Once you put him (or her) in the POT, God will let you know whether or not you should set the table or turn the fire off.

[purity]

Hi Girl Talk!!!

I know my reply is like totally late but better late then never huh?  

I have eperienced this same thing. I met a guy who was totally grounded in the Lord, really nice looking, good manners, college education/degree (need I say more) So basically the brother had it going on.

When I met him like yourself I also thought he was my soul mate because we had alot in common. We had been through some of the same things. He had been hurt, so had I. His grandma raised him, mines raised me. We liked alot of the same things so I was like BOOM this is it Lord.  (LOL)

I prayed your same prayer. Lord if he is out of your will for my life then remove him. Well to my suprise God didn't remove him. So of course I took that as he was the one for me to marry. (WRONG)

We did lots of things together, went to church together, he met my fam and I met his. Long story short I soon found out he was NOT the man I was suppose to marry and that he WAS in God's plan for my life just not in the manner in which I had hoped.

So what am I trying to say??!!!!!

We have to be reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaalllll specific with the Lord. I asked God to move him if he was out of His will for my life. But what I really meant was if he's not going to be my husband Lord please remove him. BUT thats not exactly what I said to the Lord. Because he was in the will of God for my life to show me some things about myself and to help prepare me for the one and only BOAZ God allowed him to stay.

Please dont get wrapped up in the fact that since the Lord has not removed him, he's the one because this is when you will turn down the wrong street only to run into a yeild sign looking pass that to jumping out into on-coming traffic and getting HIT! (get my drift)

Well I know thats what happened to me. So I share that to say.....be very clear and specifc with the Lord.

And if he is in the will you'll know.... NO QUESTION ABOUT IT!

I know where I sometimes get wrapped up is thinking every male I meet that's attractive is husband material. NO I believe sometimes we mess up friendships that are to be strictly platonic by taking them down the road of attraction and romance. The Lord would have for us to have balance in our relationships...meaning good female friends as well as good male friends.

Hope that helps.

[Novelist]

Soulmates are kin to the heart and soul of life.  First you seen the attraction, the physique, the smiles, the hair, or his voice.  There are many things that attracts me to a man.  His skin, his cologne, his features or his witty personality.  As soulmates, you can feel their hurt, pain, and nearly the words they want to express.  Soulmates are the ones who are compatible, they are made for each one another.  I am not an expert when it comes to knowing who is for me because I never had that experience.  Indeed, I have prayed that God would send that man to me who would be suitable for my needs and wants because everyone cannot handle or tolerate who you are.  There are specific people and personalities for everyone, but it is hard for me to even know the first sign.  

Often, we pray for signs if the man is right for us or we just go by what we think.  That is when things start going crazy.  For me, I have prayed for a man, but I am not sure if he is the one.  Right now, the timing could be wrong or because we are not there yet, but I guess one day I will find out.  Perhaps be shocked, especially if it is someone I knew for a long time.

[Forum Administrator]

Hello All. If you haven't already, please review my response the the post Finding a Soulmate in this same category.