Scared of falling in and out of love!

[One_of_the_few]

What would you do if you came across some old pictures and letters from your boyfriends old girlfriend? You know he saved it b/c you saw him cleaning the box out.

Should I assume that because he saved the pictures and letters that means he still has an attachment to her? Or should I stop tripping:-) ( I haven't completely tripped but thoughts have gathered in my mind ...this is why I am posting this posting).

[Forum Administrator]

Hi One_of_the_few. You should not assume anything. Neither should you accuse anything. What you should do is ask. When/if you do ask, don't ask to prove a point or a conclusion that you may have already reached. Instead, ask so that you might know the facts and gain understanding about him, your relationship, and most importantly, yourself.

There has been a recurring theme of distrust in your posts. That is the deeper issue that needs to be dealt with. Is there something about his behavior that is creating an atmosphere of distrust in your relationship? If so, you need to talk with him about that. And/or is there some unresolved issue within yourself that causes you to feel distrustful? If so, it will be to your own benefit to work through that. Whatever the cause of the distrust, you have to determine together and independently what can and needs to be changed.

A love relationship that is headed towards a bright future is not one in which fear and distrust lingers. There is no fear in love. "Falling in and out of love" is another way of saying that you may be in a relationship that is not emotionally healthy.

Should you stop trippin'? Yes you should. You should stop trippin' onto that emotional rollercoaster. Stop the ride. You have to make sure you are secured. If you are unable to gain a sense of safety and security, I would suggest that you get off that thing before you get hurt.