Confidence

[Novelist]

What are some of the great ways to maintain a spiritual life and balance health?  In my experience, I realize that I need to constantly remind myself of positive thinking because I could easily revert to negativity.  Therefore, how could a young woman as myself get through the storms and valleys of life, even when others are around and see that I am smiling, but crying on the inside.  As a woman, I want to encourage myself everyday so that I can feel empowered, refreshed, and beautiful.  Ladies as myself have encountered situations as low self-esteem as a result of mistakes, failures, and feeling unattractive.  

So, what are some great things that I can do to occupy my mind and keep my spirit in tuned with good things?  Are there certain words to recite every morning or a daily sheet to prioritize my activities?

[Tamar]

I know exactly how you feel. For such a long time I was wearing a mask.  I was hurting so bad on the inside (emotionally and physically), but know one never knew exactly how I was feeling.   I was constantly smiling and acting as if everything was perfect in my life.  This façade only made matters worse for me. It paralyzed me and stunted my growth (spiritually and mentally). A lot of us know that we have what it takes, the looks, the education, the talent.  But in some areas in our lives, we are paralyzed.  Our outside surroundings are not stopping us from moving; it is our internal thoughts, our internal oppression.  I grew up with family members telling me that I was so ugly because I was the darkest in the family.  I let that linger on in my spirit until I was an adult.  My low self-esteem damaged me mentally and physically.  I got to a point where I was tired of hurting and wanted to do something about it.  I thought that obtaining a higher degree in terms of education and becoming more successful would make me feel better about myself.  That did not work.  So, I ventured into several relationships, but being in those relationship only intensified the problems that I had within myself.

It was not until I realized that I did not love myself, when the problems began to get better. Love is the cure to all of our problems and the opposite of love is fear. Love is such a necessary element in the healing of all of our wounds.  I always thought that I loved myself, but I did not love all of me.  I did not love myself as I should and that lack of love for myself, caused me to withhold the love that I should be giving to others, even GOD.  Of course I know better now.  I was addicted to my own pain.  I had not emotionally developed the way that I should have.  I realized that I had to go back a few steps in order to go forward. I had to refocus my spiritual life and undergo a rewarding spiritual journey. God is the love within us and whether we follow him or think with love, it is entirely up to us.  Love is what we were born with.  Fear is what we have learned here. The spiritual journey is the relinquishment of fear and the acceptance of love back into our hearts.  When we choose to love and allow our minds to be one with God, then life is peaceful. The moment that we turn away from love, pain sets in. Fear in our minds produces fear in our lives. A shift in how we think about life produces a shift in how we experience it. If you do not like the effects in your life, you have to change the nature of your thinking. I am applying these principles to my life.  I had to realize that nothing that I think or wish is necessary to establish my worth.  I had to allow the Holy Spirit to remove the negative thinking that had so long plagued my spirit.  Please do not allow satan to convince you that you are anything less than who God created you to be, A Beautiful and Loving Creature. I now know that nothing that people have said about me or anything that I have done or ever will do can mar my perfection in the eyesight of God.  What's not to like about me (you)?  We are all a part of God and we were created in love. I hope that this helps you in some way.  

Below are a few verses that have helped me:

"Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame" (Psalm 34:5 NIV)

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" (2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV)

"I have come to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners. . to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion, to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair" (Isaiah 61:1-4).



~Tamar

[Gracious]

Dear Novelist:

For me, nothing disturbs the core of low self-esteem like success!!! Accentuate your positivity!!!

Now here's my personal prescription for GREAT wellness:

*Open your bible (your "Sword of the Spirit") before bedtime, meditate...quiet your environment (turn off the tube, cd player, phone, etc) and read the Word until you fall asleep.

*Begin the next day with scripture (you can pray, while your grooming   )

*EXERCISE...EXERCISE...EXERCISE!!!  WE Women seem to be soooo bad at honoring our temples (I know, most of us hate to exercise...but the natural endorphins you generate liken themselves to prozack (sp?), in that you naturally release chemicals in the body that cause you to feel better about yourself - LIFE!!!

*Do something nice for someone else (your pastor, first lady, parents, sibblings, friends)!!! I've found that the best way (fastest way  ) to receive (from heaven)...whatever you need, is to move yourself out of the way...STOP FOCUSING ON YOURSELF!!! (not that you do...I'm just saying...  ) Volunteering at a soup kitchen or something like that.

*Go to a Dollar Store and get a pedicure-manicure-facial set (one or all three), scented candles... and

do-it-yourself !!! You'd be surprised at how much...YOU pampering YOU, will boost your confidence levels...it's spiritually rejuvenating[/list]

*Lastly, inventory all media in your home (books, magazines, pictures, music, etc. Anything that makes you feel remotely sad/uncomfortable about YOU ...TOSS IT!!!

Only enter into conversations that promote positivity (on the "JOB", that not always easy, but do what you can)!!!

Now this is truly the last thing , look at yourself/your face in the mirror, saying out loud:


Thank you Lord, for making me, saving me, and setting me apart...For I AM A VITUOUS WOMAN, A LOVING WOMAN, A KIND-HEARTED, STRONG CARE-GIVER!!! Anointed in my talk, in the way that I walk!!!
Truly there is none like me...BY YOUR HANDS, I AM BEAUTY CREATED TO SHOW THAT WHICH IS BEAUTIFUL...AMEN!!!


Try it..."IT" WORKS...it really does!!!

Sincerely,

Gracious
[/color]

[Novelist]

Thank you for encouraging me because I am going through a phase in my life right now and I feel like a failure.  I am 25 years old, living with my grandmother, I hold a degree, but do not have the job to come along with it.  Currently, I have a seasonal job, but it will be ending and now I have to find another job soon!!! I have been devastated for the past day or so because I feel neglected by a friend and I am concerned about other parts of my life that right now, I do not have the strength to deal with others right now.  I want to be open and do more for others.  The reality is that I am a mess and I need to come out of this because it is interferring with my emotional balance and thinking.  I want to move forward.  Pray for me.

[Forum Administrator]

Novelist, the Deep Waters family is praying for you. Remember, no premeditated worry. One step at a time. Be thankful and continue to trust.

The word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. Right now, it sounds like you are experiencing the "lamp to your feet" reality where you can only see one step at a time. Keep walking with Him one step at a time, and as your level of trust in God continues to grow, His word will then become a "light to your path" and you will be able to see much further than just one step at a time. It's going to be all right. You'll see.  

[Theresa McFaddin]

The very fact that you are concerned about this area of your life shows hope for you!  We are often in the most trouble when we ignore the "balance" as though it's not needed!

I wanted to point you to a book I wrote for women just like you!  It is called Saved Sexy Cool!  It gives step by step pointers on how to maintain and grow your spiritual life while keeping your physical self together within the holy boundaries.  It gives pointers on getting peace in your life as well. 

You can go to my website and check it out.  It was made small enough to fit in your purse and it has questions for you to answer as you go along.  Hope it helps.  You can order right online.  In addition, there is a Saved Sexy Cool questionnaire with 50 questions about life and how you live it.  These are very helpful and are good to point you in the right direction!

Blessings, Theresa