Asking men out!?

[gracegirl]

I recently had a discussion with one of my best friends, who is a believer, about 2 gentlemen that I'm attracted too. They're both single and they're acquaintances of mine. One is a believer and the other I'm not sure. She says that I should step up and  make it known that I'm available and ask them to coffee that way they won't think I'm intimidating . But I'm kind of a traditionalist when comes to dating, in other words letting men ask me out instead of the other way around.  I've shared with her that I think a lot of men, especially black men, are intimidated by me because I'm a beautiful, confident, highly intelligent woman who carries herself well. I could be absolutely wrong. However, I always question why when me and her go out men flock to her? She's a few years younger than me but we're the same physical type from height to skin color, our taste in clothes, to the point where people think we're twins.  I'm very conscious of how I come off to men now but I'm also reminded of the scripture that says "He that find a wife, find a good thing" BUT my flesh so to speak is considering being so bold as to ask a guy out. I guess I'm a having tug o' war with the flesh  ! What do you think?

[David Dupree]

Hi Grace Girl,

I would refer you to check out the book of Ruth.  The story of Ruth, Boaz and Naomi is quite intriguing.  Naomi, who was Ruth's mother in law, gave Ruth some good advice about how to go about "catching Boaz's eye."  We forget though that Boaz had already "encountered" Ruth when he instructed his workers to leave handfuls of grain for Ruth to glean.  Some people use the story to say yes, go chase a man.  But if you read the whole of the story and find out that Boaz actually made the first move, then things come back into perspective. 

That being said, I would definitely caution you to leave the "I'm not sure" believer alone.  No need in you having to guess as to whether he loves and serves Jesus.  It is not in the scripture, but you do need to hold certain truths to be self evident.

As for the actual question...if you are wrestling with your flesh, then don't let your flesh win.  In your flesh dwells no good thing.  Stand on what you know to be true.  Your "gift(s)" will make room for you.  Be anxious for nothing, but in everything with prayer and supplication with thanksgiving.  Your requests have been made known unto God..so now let the Peace of God reign in your life. 

Next, you can't judge you on your twin.  If you ever have been around twins, even identical twins, it is not uncommon for one twin to "shine" while the other kinda fades to the background.  But when the background twin is alone, you get to see what a great person that background twin is...usually even moreso than the foreground twin.  Just know, what God has for you is for you.  Nobody can change it or hold it up.   

Finally, I  strongly urge you to follow the Holy Spirit.  He will not lead you wrong.  And the Holy Spirit is not your fleshly ideals.  He will lead you and guide you into all truth--even the truth about your relationships. 

Be blessed.