Is it doomed???

[HisPurpose]

Hello All,

I am desperately trying to live according to God's word and have started a relationship with a really nice guy.  I was in another relationship prior to this for 7 years and it was not a good relationship at all....I went through a lot.  So now this other guy has come along and he is the complete opposite of my ex. 

I told him when we first met that I was practicing celibacy and he seemed to respect it.  We always talked about it and how we would wait.  I am a babe in God and so is he so we tried to avoid any possible temptation.  However, recently we slipped up.  Afterwards I repented however of course I still feel really bad....I know that I disappointed God. 

So my questions are:  Is the relationship doomed because we were disobedient?  Will God still allow us to have a healthy, blessed, and prosperous relationship?  Should I just let it go because now it will never be right in God's eyes, therefore it will never work?  If this was the man God has for me then we would have never slipped up right?

As I stated earlier I have been through hell and back in my past relationship so I want the next one to be of God.  I really like the guy that I am with and he wants to attempt to start over and wait until we are married, but I feel like it's not going to work now.  He says that he doesn't believe that we serve a God like that (one who will not bless our union because of this one slip up)....but this time I just wanted it to be completely right. 

Any thoughts?


Thanks for reading,

HisPurpose

[tippieangel]

hi

you and me need to talk really! same boat, same oars, and I'm still rolling

I've been on this site with basically the SAME question
All I can say is hear the book the GOOD Book and read Aletheas book Though the vision Tarry Waiting for your promised Mate.(get it on-line)

I believe that God Can and Will.
and Lord knows we've messed up before and we will again but it's NOT STAYING in that same mess that's we have to learn to do.

God forgives us we have to forgive ourselves
"Go and sin no more"John 8:11

with great understanding and Love
Tippieangel

[bishopbiscuits]

Howdy!


..............I don't believe that the relationship is doomed, but you do have a wake up call before you.
..............The Holy Spirit is our comforter, a spirit of wisdom and truth. Pray and ask God to give you revelation about you. When you are spiritually aware of of what's within your heart, and you have the faith and courage to place it all in God's hands, you give God the opportunity to handle the situation,  before the situation gets big enough to handle you.
...............He can give you the insight on what was in the forefront and background of your soul and spirit as you came to the point of compromise.
.............Having had intercourse already may have created a tougher course for you. But your best weapon may be realizing that your relationship is about three: You, him, and Jesus Christ. Invite God into your shared time.Involve Him in your planning, and get to know your individual places in Him. Present your motives and actions before Him daily in all things, that He can make clear and straight your path.
............We sometimes treat certain relationships as "our territory", and forget or actively choose not to submit them to God, because we want to operate in our own plan and flow.
............I have found that how I relate to God and how well I truly know myself, affect every relationship with other people. Get to know Him better, and yourself as well. Learn how to prioritize, and what is worthy of fighting for and protecting to you, under Christ.
............God will be your strength, but only in the areas where you give Him permission and access.

[David Dupree]

-So this guy is the complete opposite of your 7yr ex?  Are you saying you never had sex with the ex?  Are you saying you never attempted to be celibate with the ex?


-You repented, but what about him?  You were practicing celibacy, but what about him?  (And why are you practicing anyway? If you are celibate, then be celibate...forget the practicing part!)

-Is it doomed?  I don't know.  But I will say you need to keep bro'man on lockdown.  And if you were the main initiator, then you need to put yourself on lockdown. 

-I am sorry, but I am just not a big believer in the "overcome with passion" or "caught up" or "couldn't stop" or "can't help myself" lies.  If you are a new creature in Christ then then you have a renewed mind.  Walk in it.  The spirit of the prophet (person) is subject to the prophet (person).  You command your body (flesh) to be subject to you.   And if you did feel powerless to stop when you are "in his arms," then that is too powerless.  Shouldn't no one have more power over you than God.  "Now unto Him who is able to keep you from falling...!" 

(n.b. Did he protect you/himself?  Did you protect yourself?  Do you know his sexual history/disease history?)

-What is he as a babe in Christ doing to enhance his Christian walk?  And to encourage you in yours?  What has he done now to convince you that he intends to be celibate also until marriage?  Has he apologized to you?  Maybe the both of you are too young in this to try a relationship right now.  Maybe you still need some space to push past the 7 year relationshp you just came out of.

Just generating some food for thought.

dd

[HisPurpose]

Thanks to everyone for your much needed insight!

To answer your questions DD:

-So this guy is the complete opposite of your 7yr ex? Are you saying you never had sex with the ex? Are you saying you never attempted to be celibate with the ex?

Yes I did have sex with my ex which resulted in a child.  With my ex it was a whole different ball game.  There was a lot of mental and verbal abuse.  He treated me very badly....so when I say this guy was different I meant that he treats me very well which I am not used to.

-You repented, but what about him? You were practicing celibacy, but what about him? (And why are you practicing anyway? If you are celibate, then be celibate...forget the practicing part!)

When we first met, I was celibate and he was not having sex because he wasn't with anyone.  When we decided to become a couple we talked about it and made the decision to be celibate until we got married.

(n.b. Did he protect you/himself? Did you protect yourself? Do you know his sexual history/disease history?)

Yes we protected ourselves and I do know his history as we have been tested and due to his line of work he has to get tested regularly. 

What is he as a babe in Christ doing to enhance his Christian walk?  And to encourage you in yours?  What has he done now to convince you that he intends to be celibate also until marriage?  Has he apologized to you?  Maybe the both of you are too young in this to try a relationship right now.  Maybe you still need some space to push past the 7 year relationshp you just came out of.

I have been in constant prayer, fasting, and studying.  I am trying to keep a distance between us until I know if this is the guy that God has for me.  As bishopbiscuts said, I think I was trying to take the matter in my own hands so now I am stepping back.  He has definitely apologized and says that he has been praying and staying in God's presence because he wants to make it work.

Thanks for your food for thought, dd.  It REALLY made me think about some things. 

So I am not sure how it will pan out, but I am putting God first this time around.

HisPurpose

[live4god]

Hello HisPrincess,
     I completely understand your situation and the battle that you are having within on forgiving yourself.  We ALL do things and have done things that fall short of God, which is why no one is in a position to place judgment on you, the hard part is finding a way to forgive ourselves, pick ourselves up, and keep fighting to be better christians as we go along.  It's tough, but it's OUR calling.  Please know that our God is a forgiving God, and as long as you have sincerely repented (which you said you did), then God remembers it no more.  Therefore, his(new man) and your relationship should be free to start over on a firm foundation for the Lord.  I wish you peace within, understanding of God's word, and blessings from above.  You are in my prayers. 

[HisPurpose]

Thanks for ALL the words of encouragement and advice!!

Update:

The guy recently told me that the life of celibacy was not for him.  Therefore I have answered my own question....is it doomed?  YES!!!!!!  Although my feelings are hurt and I can not believe that I am in another hurtful situation, I can't imagine compromising.  So now I am praying the God will give me peace and strength to walk away and not look back. 



Thanks again!

HisPurpose 

[David Dupree]

Nike 1:1  says "Just do it" 

Ghetto 23:4 says "He is cut."

Amos 3:3 says "Can two walk together except they be agreed?"

I am so glad that you found out now.  What a shame though.  Holiness is still right.  I am glad that you have chosen to stand on the Word of God. 

Even now I rebuke the spirit of compromise and stand with you in the strength that will allow you to walk away like Lot from Sodom and remember Lot's wife.  I pray that there will be no residual hurt and that God will immediately release the soul ties created from being with him.  In the name of Jesus!

dd