10 Tips for Letting Go of Co-dependency

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10 Tips for Letting Go of Co-dependency
by Steve Arterburn

1. Your self-esteem shouldn't be based on how well you please others. God accepts you just the way you are and you should too. Your worth is not measured by your performance.

2. Co-dependent people often view themselves as victims and are attracted to others who feel the same way. Guard against engaging in "pity party" conversations.

3. Fear of abandonment dominates co-dependent thinking. The co-dependent person will sometimes hold on to a painful relationship rather than risk confronting critical issues. If you fear abandonment, trace the roots of that feeling and examine it in the context of your present situation.

4. Co-dependent people tend to isolate themselves from others. Get involved in healthy relationships through church, civic or other social groups. Developing healthy relationships will help you examine and confront the issues surrounding your unhealthy relationships.

5. It's OK to say no to other people's demands when you need to.

6. It's OK to ask for what you want from others.

7. Co-dependent people feel guilty when they stand up for themselves instead of giving in to others. Spend time defining your convictions and hold fast to them.

8. You are not responsible for all the problems of the world. You can't make other people change. You can be honest with them about how their behavior affects you.

9. Permitting a loved one to face reality does not indicate a lack of love. Under the guise of "protection" you may be actually preventing your family member or friend from developing emotional maturity.

10. You don't have to face your battle with co-dependency alone, and you shouldn't. Help is available.
A good resource to start with is the book, Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. Visit the following link on the Deep Waters website for additional information: http://www.deepwaters.info/resources-abuse.htm

Please post your questions about issues relating to co-dependency in the School of Fish [Life Issues Affecting Relationships] category.