My Husband, Best Friend and Pastor Left Me

[Ethel Belcher]

After twenty-four years of marriage, my husband, Pastor and best friend decided that he did not want to be married to me any longer.  I thought I would die.  I felt like crawling in a hole never to come out again.  I contemplated suicide. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, I went from a size eight to a size 2.  I felt like I was dying and I could not do anything about it.  I cried everyday and every evening and I felt that God had forgotten about me.  

I would pray and I felt like my prayers were hitting the ceiling and coming back down again.  I did not know what to do.  I could not say anything to the people in my church, I was the first lady, and my husband was their Pastor; how could I tell them what was really going on in my life?  My family lived in another state miles away and I felt that I didn't need to tell them what was going on because I thought if I fasted and prayed God would make him change his mind and he would want me to be his wife.  That way my family would never have to find out what was going on.  

See, my husband was the first man I ever kissed, the first man I ever slept with and I thought we would be married forever. I loved my husband and I really wanted my marriage to work.  I could not believe this was happening to me.  For fourteen and a half years I was a First Lady; a Pastor's wife. We counseled couples and single parents but now, I was facing raising my two children by myself without their father being in the home.  I felt like my world was literally falling apart. One day while I was praying to God HE spoke to me and said: "Focus on ME and your relationship with ME and get as close to ME as you can, and focus on your children and I will take care of everything else."  God also told me that HE gives us freedom of choice and no matter how much I wanted my marriage to work, my husband had to want it to work too.  God taught me that HE does not come against anyone's will.   WHEW!

I began to read God's word like never before, I began an open dialogue with God, I continued to go to church and seek God. I could not go back permanently to the church that my husband was the Pastor of because there were too many memories and the pain was hard to bear for myself and my children; but God allowed us to fellowship with a church that was 15 minutes from my home where the healing process could begin.  To God Be the Glory!  

In November of 1997, my husband, best friend and Pastor left me.  I called church after church looking for a Christian support group, a group of women who could say, I've been where you are and God brought me through and HE will do the same for you.  But I could not find one group, churches could offer me counseling, but no church could provide me with a support group.  God spoke to me and said: I want you to start a support group for Christian Women, and I remember saying to the Lord, how can I start a support group for Christian Women when I am hurting so bad.   But God knew what was BEST for me, and with his help "Sister To Sister": A Support Group For Christian Women  was founded in October 1997.  

I marvel at the hand of God and how HE allowed me to meet so many wonderful women, who through prayer, word of encouragement and testimonies were able to survive and live for God! We learned to focus on God and our relationship with God and to get as close to God as we possibly could.  We began like never before to serve God with all of our hearts, souls and minds.  As a result of our commitment to God and our Faith in Him what victories we have!  My latter is so much better than anything I've had to go through.

God has blessed me and my children in countless ways, God has put flesh back on my bones, a smile on my face and a bounce in my step.  My favorite scripture is found in Psalm 138:8 "HE will perfect everything that concerns me."  Everyday of my life God is doing just that.  So ladies don't give up, no matter what it looks like, if you live for God and serve HIM with your whole heart HE will see you through and you will become such a better person.  God has given me quadruple for my troubles and all I can say is thank you Lord!  I look forward to sharing even more of my testimony with you.  So stay tuned for more!
Click to view more information about SOW: Sister to Sister. One on One. Woman to Woman.

[purity]

BLESS THE LORD ALL MY SOUL AND ALL THAT'S WITH IN ME BLESS HIS HOLY NAME!!!

Sis, that's all I could think of after I read your testimony. When I first began to read it I thought "WOW"..... but GOD!!! You are one of the many persons who shows God is able to work in what seems to be impossible. This has been such a great encouragement. No I'm not married but this sends a message in so many ways.

Be blessed and keep walking with that smile on you face and sharing the GOODNESS of the ALMIGHTY GOD!!!! Keep sharing your testimony every where you go! God has definitely perfected that which concerned you and some sister who's going through a rough time needs to know that He will do the same for her if she would just keep her mind stayed on him, pray continually, trust, keep the faith and believe!

Okay gotta get back to work but just wanted to thank you for sharing. O what the Lord can do in our lives if we would just trust Him. O how He's able to turn what seems impossible around for our good. O how He goes behind the scenes -- when we least expect it and works things out for our good. MY GOD! I am feeling this. He is so awesome and His loving kindness and faithfulness towards us shows us every day that He will never leave nor forsake us. MY GOD! (I gotta get some tissue).

BLESSED is the man/woman who trust in the LORD!  

~Purity

[pressingon]

How encouraging.  

I'm going through myself and I love the scripture you quoted, "He will perfect that which concerneth me."  My husband left me and my daughter and is living with another woman.  We have not even begun the divorce process yet and he's moved on.   However, God is causing all things to work together for my good. Romans 8:28  I've just purchased my first home, and the Lord is meeting all my needs.  I'm learning to trust and depend on him.

 Keep letting the Lord use you.