Deep Waters Relationship Advice

Hello 1Eagleshy,

Was Napoleon Hill a believer?

Hmmmm......

Well let me tell ya that I LUVVV your topic, I'm verrry familiar with the work of Mr. Hill & Mr. Carnegie  ... Amen?

I'm unsure whether he was a religious man ... Yet, I am sure that he was a spiritual one!  You see, to me, there is a difference.   "Religious" (Christian) people tend to explain the unknown specifically.  Meaning, they tend to give their reverence for the "source" of all things great & mighty & good, as coming from our Deity ... Amen?   "Spiritual" people may or may not be religious, however they understand that there is a Force greater than themselves - this Force is good ... AND ... they understand the importance of tapping into that force (being connected) in order to be successful in one's life.

As a Christian, I (like you) see many positive parallels with exclusively "spiritual" people.  And that's how I personally would describe this man who walked modestly among the verrry wealthy.


Gracious

Recently, I've been reading a book by the late Napoleon Hill called 'Think and Grow Rich'. This book is very fascinating. About three years ago, Charles Stanley aired a series over the summer called 'Success God's Way'. Stanley talked about how most of the positive thinking authors/speakers borrow heavily from the Bible, or they introduce concepts in their books/speeches that, unknowing to them, have their origins in Biblical thought.

Anyway, as I read this book, certain Scriptures would come to my mind, sort of like Biblical parallels to what the book was saying. For instance, Think and Grow Rich discusses the concept of guarding your thoughts....now doesn't this sound a lot like Proverbs 23:4, which says: "Guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it flows the issues of life"??

There are some concepts in this book that sound questionable to me. But I'm curious...was Napoleon Hill a believer?

Hi ANEWDAY, 

Sorry to take so long in responding to your post.  And let me apologize in advance if I sound cliche' ish throughout this response.  I don't want to, but sometimes, it is the repetition that helps things soak in. 

Anewday, what you need to do most of all is Keep your Focus!  The Bible admonishes us to think on whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.  Phil. 4:8 

Being in a situation where you messed up, your husband messed up and you are now faced with the prospect of having an 18 year reminder, you have to have focus!  You have to RE-focus.

Focus on God.  If you keep your eyes on God, even as Peter kept his eyes on Jesus to walk on the water, when the winds of change and derision come upon you, you will be able to maintain because God will SEE you through it all. 

Focus on your marriage.  You are in covenant, not only with your husband, but with God.  Therefore, focus on keeping your marriage intact.  God will honor your efforts AND your husband's efforts.  Yes, you both have broken covenant.  But that doesn't mean you can't put some duct tape on it to keep it together while the glue reseals the breaks.  What does that mean?  The potter had a vessel that was defective.  Sometimes the vessel has to be remelted and smelted, remolded and shaped and then put in the fire before it becomes the vessel that God, I mean, the potter intended.  Allow God to lead you both into how to reestablish your covenant with one another and with Him.

Focus on yourself.  You cannot, unfortunately, control your husbands actions.  But you can control/change yours.  Remember, you have a God to answer to for the things that you do! Yes, I understand that women are programmed to be responders, replicators, incubators and as such have a natural proclivity to return or boomerang that which they receive.  However, a mature and maturing Christian will work to overcome those proclivities when they do not line up with the Word of God.  Allow the Holy Spirit to give you a spirit check to determine if an action you "feel" is okay meets the Word test--does it give God glory; does it reflect the example of Jesus; is it something you don't mind being caught doing if Jesus should return while you are in the process. (to name a few)

Focus on your words.  What are you saying?  Are you speaking life to your situation?  Or are you pronouncing doom and gloom to the possibilities of your situation surviving the storms of life.   Your words even in this post said "...I did it because I felt I had no choice..."  You may think it is small, but that statement plants some serious negative seeds into your psyche; seeds which can grow wildly.  Don't tell yourself you are confused.  Tell yourself that you have been transformed by the renewing of your mind and you have the mind of Christ about every situation.  Don't tell yourself that you can't stand the thought of someone else with a child by your husband.  Tell yourself that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.  Tell yourself that you are more than a conqueror.  Tell yourself that you are healed from every situation that wants to make you sick.

Where is your focus?  Wherever you find you focus, you will find your future.  I pray you survive these attacks and the coming hardships that seek to keep you sidetracked from the ministry that God wants to pull out of you.  I look forward to your progress reports. :-)

ddupree

I will pray for you and your husband.   An adulterous spirit is operating in your marriage.   The only ay you can survive and move forward in a healthy relations is through prayer, mediatation and surrender.   You must be willing to surrender all including your marriage to God.   

Hello it's me again, still hoping for that new day.  Well where shall I start the adultery in my marriage is taken a toll on us. My husband has committed adultery and I have too. Don't get the wrong understanding I was not a cheater but my husband has had so many affairs on me that I just did it. And I regret all of it.
I cut mines off in Nov. and at the same time I found out that my husband was haven
one. Well we both are wrong and I never wanted to hurt him but I did it because I felt I had no choice since I knew that he continued to be unfaithful to me in the pass. He do not know about my affair I can not hurt him like that and plus I might loose him forever and I don't want to. There is another issue a baby could be on the way. My husband told me about the young lady could be pregnant and I don't know what to do.  I'm I wrong for been so hard on him and why do I feel so hurt when I know I did the same thing... Please help i'm so confused.  Because I can't stand the though of someone else with a child by my husband, that my job, and that's my husband.

GuidingLight, 

For me, the beautiful thing about living life as a Christian ... is the very thing that I often forget   ... You see, I forget that  "I" don't have to worry ... NO WORRIES!!!  If I spent all my time worrying 'bout this temptation & the otha' one ... chile' - all my days would be consumed with doubt & fear!  No WORRIES means that I/we are to want for nothing ... Amen?  Let GOD control!  Who's stronger ... the GOD who created you ... or the devil who is bent on destroying you?  Isn't HE / GOD, the GREATER in you???  Of course HE is!!!  Then why are you suffering with the temptation of the ahhh "party" ... when your delight "IS" in the law of the LORD??? (Psalms 1)

Seeking to live as a success, in a place that GOD has not called you to ... will leave you fruitless - confused & with NO joy ... Amen?  If you do NOT have a sense of peace in being unmarried ... it is because your eye (your spiritual eye) maybe out of focus.  TRUST HIM ... I mean REALLY dare to TRUST JESUS &  HE'll exchange the weights that you carry, for an overcoming testimony!

When I was unmarried, I too asked the very same questions of GOD & what HE shared within my spirit - literally blew me away (that is ...when I was ready & able to honestly hear HIM ).  HE spoke:  "I AM YOUR GOD - YOUR GOD - YOUR GOD!!! THERE IS NONE BEFORE ME, BESIDE ME & THERE IS NONE AFTER ME!!!  IT IS "I" WHOM YOU MUST SEEK AFTER ... NOT YOUR OWN "SELFISH" WILL!!!  ASK ME HOW TO LIVE A CHRISTIAN LIFE & "I" ALONE ... WILL SHOW YOU!!

Luv' ya'

Gracious

How do you live a successful Christian single life? I decided that this will be my year of change. I have a desire to live a life that God will be pleased with. What do you do when temptation come up on you? Sexual? Going place Christian should no be? Not responding in a Christian manner to different situations etc...

Take your concerns to God concerning the mother of your child(ren) and her faith walk.   Let God lead and guide you to all truths.   Whether you are married or not, she is the mother of your child(ren).  Where she goes, they will go also.  It is and should be important to you that they are sitting under sound Biblical counsel. 

Be prayerful, patient and loving in all your ways toward her.  Trust God to work out the details in and through you.

Hello DW users and readers. 

On behalf of DW and the support team I would like to take this opportunity to say Happy New Year to all of you! 

With all of the things that happened in 2008, I am sure that no one doubts that 2009 opens with an air of expectancy!  There is an excitement of possibilities in the air.  Let me along with the many others you have tuned into encourage you in this year.  I am sure you have heard many of the pundits thematically identifying this year as:
"It will be fine in 09"
"I am getting mine in 2009"
"09 - the year we receive the fruit of the vine"
and the list goes on into
09 - the year of manifestation
09 - the year of release
and my personal one 09 - the year of the release of Power! :-) 

Whatever your theme, you should recognize that it is crucial that you stay steadfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord; for your labor is not in vain.  One of the enemies tricks is to keep "us" the believers, off balance and off base or as my Father in the gospel would say, he wants to keep you off guard, which will take you off God. 

My brothers and sisters, this is a year where we have to make the song come to life--"I command my hands/feet/soul/mouth to praise the Lord!"  Stay Kingdom minded.  Stay focused, come what may. 

This may be a year you are exposed!  Will you be exposed as a true believer, a make believer or a fake believer?  Yes, we let the wheat and the tare grow together, but we seem to forget that only the wheat gets harvested.  And lest we forget that even when the wheat is harvested, there is even a chaff that the wind drives away.   

Will you be driven away this year by every wind or so-called doctrine? 

Your mission, if you decide to accept it, is to be one of the Ecclesia, the called out ones, the ones who are ready to walk the walk and not just talk the talk. 

This year will not be a year to use the excuse, "it is just me and Jesus."  This year will be a year to walk it out with help.  Use your discernment, be prayerful, but let the Holy Spirit lead you to someone(s) that will be with you this year in prayer and in friendship.  The person who will let you continue in sin, rebellion, unforgiveness etc...that ain't the one.  The person who will barely listen and then just want to woo woo woo you...that ain't the one.  But the person who will listen and then commit your situation to prayer...that's the one.  The person who will call with a scripture or word of encouragement before hearing you say a word...that's the one.  The one who has something to strengthen you even though you don't seem to be going through anything, but they sense something down the road...that's the one. 

Remember 9 is the last single or ordinal number and therefore represents some level of finality.  Nine also is the number of the Holy Spirit meaning the number of Power.  (After that the Holy Spirit has come up on you, you shall receive power!...Acts 1:08). The coming of the Holy Spirit was the finality of Jesus' experience on earth.  Before He ascended, He breathe on the disciples and said receive ye the Holy Spirit.  John 20:22

I declare unto you that this is a year for the release of Power of God in your life.  I hope you heed to the above and do not miss your Divine appointment with the visible, manifestation of the Power of God in your life. 

He that has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the church.

ddupree

Welcome David1982 to Deepwaters. 

As you probably have read in our literature, we attempt to provide sound Biblically based answers to relationship issues.  Along with that, we have attempted to prayerfully surround this site with moderators who will follow this vision and do the same. 

Personally, I am not well acquainted with J & K's site.  I am aware of and have read the book that they authored which has been a blessing to many and from what I understand has helped many marriages.  In their responses provided on the Deepwaters site, I am not aware of them trashing anyone and if I recall, they have provided Biblically-based or at least Biblically foundational answers to the situations posed to them. 

(As you can probably tell from the posts on our site, it is heavily dominated by women as I would believe most sites of this nature are. That is just how things are in the world.  Men are less apt to post on sites like these than women.)

Although we do attempt to provide answers to all posts, I do not feel at liberty to comment on another's "vision" for their ministry.  I wasn't there when God (or self) spoke to them concerning their ministry.  I have never attended their church or seen a video of their services.

As to your personal question, you say this person is a "significant other."  You don't say this person is your spouse.  I see no need for those in a non-marital relationship to belong to the same ministry.  However, the Bible says, "can two walk together unless they be agreed?"  Amos 3:3.  At the same time, you don't want to be unequally yoked.  There are some basic things that you should agree on as you prepare for a lifetime together.  Compromise shouldn't be by ultimatum or coercion, it should be by love.  At the same time, I believe that "non-negotiables" have their place.  There should be standards.  There should be personal vision.  As the old saying goes, "if you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything."  Therefore, if committing to this ministry is a non-negotiable for her, then you have some decisions to make. 

It sounds like to me though that the both of you need to sit down and examine the ministries you both are a part of.  Examine why you are holding on to your beliefs.  Examine why she joined another ministry.  Examine why she would keep you if you join, but dump you if you don't.  (by the way, this examination should be done separately before being done jointly)   

Whatever you do, remember to do it in love.  I would encourage you to read the amplified version of I Corinthians 13:4-8.

ddupree