HELP!!! My Daughter Had a Miscarriage and . . .

[Breathedonme]

You know Sage, that is what I am contending with now.  A high sense of shame and of being a fool.  I have been sexually abused as a child.  I was physically, emotionally and mentally abused in past marriages.  When I got to Christ, I thought I was passed all of this.  I WOULD NOT allow a man to abuse me again.

How could I have let this happen?

We would be given scriptures on why it was right to do the things we were asked to do.  I would read these and cross-reference (or thought I did), and say, okay, we are to respect authority, etc.

My Bishop walks in the prophetic, so some of the prophecies would come to pass.  Leaving made me so fearful. 

I continued to pray to God to help me to be released from this.  He did!!! 

How could I have let this happen?  What is within me to let it go on for so long?

Why wasn't I strong enough?  I am so bold with other matters when ministering to others and fighting for them in the Lord?  HOW???

[Gracious]

Hey Breath, Sage, Madame FA & err-body!!!

Breathe,

I feel your "WHY?" I truly do!

Walk with me a minute

After reviewing your initial sharing Breathe, & the responses of everyone ... this thought from the 10 Commandments came to me ...

THOU SHALT HAVE NO OTHER GODS BEFORE ME ...

Perhaps this Commandment includes "churchin' "

You'd mentioned that before this spiritual shake-up ... your life basically consisted of  church & home.  Which to me is real cool, though I do understand & agree with a need to ummm ... diversify (in a Cruustian way ... Amen? )  But what I didn't see you mention was, the time that you'd needed to simply "steal away" ... with HIM.

For me, ANYTIME (which I'm embarrassed to say at times could be often) that "'otha-people" & my imaginations (meaning what others are thinking & sayin/ 'bout me) are more important to me, than the day to day "brand-new" mercies that HE's chosen to abundantly bless me with ... THEN ... THAT is a tell-tail sign, that "I" am placing that THING ahead and or before my Maker ... Amen?

Plainly, concerning our reputations ... GOD is firm!  He says that we are to AVOID the APPEARANCE of evil ... HE says that the administration (church officials) of HIS Bride are to be of a GOOD report!

Before gettin' all caught-up on my previous paragraph ... jus' keep-a-readin' ...

BEFORE "THIS incident ... what was your "rep" in your "church-home? huh ... had to be pretty AWESOME for you to hold such a "respectable position" ... Amen? & AFTER this incident ... WHAT will the congregation THINK about your X-pastor, regarding the poor & public manner in which he's chosen to address an issue that hits one out of EVERY three families in this country (regardless of race, gender or denomination)   Huh ...  My guess is that it will be "his" report that will come under-fire!!!  And to the "waggin' tongues" ... HE admonishes us that "he who is without sin ..." !!!

Now, regarding your situation, following the tenacity of your daughter will aide you!!! 

YES!!! Be wise in your concerns ... BUT ... there again, GOD speaks through HIS inspiration that "HE shall PERFECT that which concerns you!

In other words, "IF" your gonna' TRUST in The LORD ... then TRUST!!! 

TRUST that every blessing received from your previous pastor & congregation ... was NOT FROM him & his earthen influence ... it was from the TRUE KEEPER of your soul (our DEITY in Heaven) ... yo' pastor was merely the vessel used to bless ya' with it ... Amen?  TRUSTING in GOD alone means that you shall FEAR no earthen man or woman ... including that Bishop or ANY anointing placed on his life ... YOU FEAR GOD!!!  The ONE who simply has chosen to "operate" within this Bishop - for YOUR good!  And "for your good" means EVERYTHING past & present ... Amen?  Tho' recent events have been extremely painful ... NO CROSS - NO CROWN!    TRUST that HE will deal with your enemies!  Which is why I think you are wise to pray for them! "Cause we know that you ain't been got (dealt with), until you been got by GOD ... Amen?

Lovin' you & yours,

Gracious

[Breathedonme]

Amen.  You are absolutely correct about stealing away to not put ANYTHING above God.  I receive that.

I am excited about forging ahead.  I can't stay in pity party or misery party for too long    Despite all of the above that I've written, at the end of the day, I choose to live!  Amen?

That's one thing about my walk with God -- I have to raise up from the doldrums.  I know not to trust my emotions; however, I know I do need to answer some of the feelings I've shared here, so as not to make the same mistakes again.  Yes, Gracious, you are SOOO correct.  If I am going to trust God - then I must just TRUST HIM!!!

He knows my heart.  He knows I am not and was not being malicious, etc.  I ask Him every day to order my steps. 

I know that "this too shall pass," and I do know that ALL things work together for good . . .

While with that ministry, I know that I helped many (some I am surprised by) --  many didn't go back into the world, many renewed their relationship with Christ, etc.  Now please be clear, and I think you know my heart, that the glory and honor ALL belongs to God.  I am just humbled and grateful that He used me as a vessel.

Our Daddy above is pretty awesome, isn't He? I do expect greater things.  I can't change the past, but in Him I can SOAR in the future AND THIS TIME, ENJOY THE TRIP without feeling intimidated, beaten and bruised.  I can be free.

Love ya Lady!

[Breathedonme]

Gracious, in a previous post, you told me to keep an eye on my daughter regarding her health . . . well the Lord led you.  She is scheduled for a surgical procedure tomorrow.  Her hormone levels are still slightly up and a sonogram shows that they left some of the placenta in her womb.  Keep in mind, she gave birth early June and this is now mid-July. 

Please keep her in your prayers. 

I am receiving emails, voice messages from people in my church, particularly my Pastor.  It is painful, but I am determined to stay free.  I love them and appreciate it, but I really want to be left alone.

I just needed to let you know, Gracious, that in Christ, you were right on point, Woman of God.  Thank you and thank our precious Lord.

[Gracious]

Bless you Breathe

And I just know that we all will continue to keep you, your daughter & her friend ... in our earnest prayers!

Givin' GOD ALL the GLORY!!!

Lovin' you,

Gracious

[sagesong]

I certainly didn't mean my comments to bring about guilt or shame.  I didn't mean them individually, but collectively.  I think much of the teaching in the church with regards to the leadership/congregant relationship is wrongheaded.

I think church leaders should carefully, quietly, prayerfully study Paul.  What kind of man do you think he would be if he were a church pastor today?  Would it look anything like what we see in many churches today?  I am not condemning church leaders pride and privilege are powerful forces.  That is why we should continually pray for our elders. 

I drank the kool-aid once myself.  Drank it all the way down and licked the cup. 

[Gracious]

Re: HELP!!! My Daughter Had a Miscarriage and . . . « Reply #20 on: Today at 01:30:53 AM

"...I am not condemning church leaders pride and privilege are powerful forces.  That is why we should continually pray for our elders. 

I drank the kool-aid once myself.  Drank it all the way down and licked the cup.

Hello Sage,

GIRL!!!  You done struck a nerve 'cause ...

What you said, for me, spoke to the underlying "evil" that exists in many churched structures today!!! 

Amen to YOU!!!

Please pray for me 'cause you see, unlike you ... I "do" condemn many  church leaders for seemingly falling prey to this evil.  One by one we see our church leadership "falling" ... right into the hands of the devil!!!  Why?  Huh, because of one word ... P-R-I-D-E !!!

Sure, every Sunday morning, they get up - stand before their congregations - feed them "hell, fire & brimstone" & "we" lap it up (like kool-aide  ).  And these leaders "actually" con themselves into believing that they've done something for da' LAWD!!!

Then,

They (our churched Leadership) sit in shock & amazement, wonderin' WHY GOD has "shut-up" heaven (HIS bountiful blessings) to them!  They wonder why there are soooo many sad-sinned-sick folk under their covering.  Folk that have been with them for YEARS!  Long enough to at least, have walked in SOME KIND OF VICTORY!!!

Yeah, we got PREACHAS' (Pew Pushers) preachin prosperity to mega-congregations of thousands, SHAMEING their congregants into risking the suffering in their own private homes  because of  throwing their monetary pearls to swine (tithing out of guilt or personal pride)!!! 

Shame on our churched leadership & shame on us for enabling them!!!

"Cause the moment that LIFE hits them ... like what our precious sister Breathe has lovingly shared with us ... THAT'S when the REAL spirit (god) that MOST of these Bishop's, Pastors & Priests reverence ... is exposed!!!

And don't let one of their own have a problem ... huh, you'd think that they would at least stick together & seek to HELP the one in need!  Nope!  If they can't cover it up ... they denounce them the SAME way they would any other lay-person! Attempting to DISTANCE themselves so that noone will see the SIN in their own lives!!!

Yeah, the moment that these so-called "chosen" potentates are granted an OPPORTUNITY,  to allow the PASTOR to stand-up from within them ... what do they choose - whom do THEY choose to serve???  Huh, many of them punk-out & choose to serve/service their "own" pride!!!

To me ... THAT is why our sister Breathe & tens of thousands of Christ-Followers all over this world are left hurting, left wounded & confused ... many of them turning away from their Salvation ... to seek the gods from other religions ... if at all!!! 

Fortunately, our Sister Breathe is more spiritually grounded than many, but even she has shared just how selfish her own leadership has been towards her ... when she NEEDED - THE CHRIST ... to show-up in them for HER - the most!

Chile' don't get me started!!!

Now ... fo' REAL ... to be fair, not ALL of 'um (churched Leadership) are this way or act this way ... Amen?  But from what I've seen ... a whole slew of 'um do!!!

Whew!!!  Takin' some DEEP brefffs ...   OK ...  I'm better now!!!   Thx for listenin'!!!

Lovin' you Sista' Sage,


Gracious

[Breathedonme]

Sage,

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do not apologize.  I'm not that thinned skinned and not everything we say in the body can be sugar coated.  That was right on point and helped me to share my inner feelings.

The Word says for us to study to show ourselves approved . . . as one dear friend said, the reason why we get so "sucked" in by some of these erroneous teachings is because most in the congregation don't read the Word or study it, and take everything the preacher says as truth!!!

I thank the Lord for you and what you provided.

Gracious, my girl came through the procedure wonderfully, thank you Jesus.  It cause her to really breakdown over the loss of her child, which she hadn't done (the anesthesia helped also - LOL).

It's sad that they didn't do the D&C after the birth.  Again, Gracious, you were right on point.  I thank God so very much for the gifts in the Kingdom.

The manipulation was subtle and great.  I felt that although I wasn't feeling much of what was going on, that it was me.  When I became free, I should have stayed free.  I wonder if there was a deep need to feel accepted since I've had so much rejection in my life.  Hmmmmmmmm

If that is the case, how many more of us?  The gifts, the kudos of my hard and diligent work?  Well, I won't go nuts trying to totally figure it out.

I remember that my Pastor took the teaching in John 10 to be that when the sheep hear the Shepherd's voice that it meant him.  I always thought that what I read was that the sheep (us) hears the Shepherd's voice (the Shepherd being Christ) and we follow Him.  I started falling away from the ministry even more during these teachings; however, it is being said that I left because I got my feelings hurt because the Pastor didn't call when my child lost the baby.  THAT'S OKAY!!! 

My brother in Christ has brought John 10 back to me, particulary v. 29 that no man can pluck me out of the hands of God.  Right now things are seemingly going haywire and my flesh wants to believe it is because of a curse by being out of the will of God by no longer attending that church.  HOWEVER, I refuse to receive that.  NO MAN CAN PLUCK ME OUT OF GOD'S HANDS.  Isaiah 54 says that God has inscribed my name in His hand!  He remembers me -- He remembers us.

I left a ministry, not Christ.  My daughter attended our church for years and hated it.  She just started with this new church and has already VOLUNTEERED to work with the children.  YOU JUST DON'T KNOW HOW AWESOME THIS IS.  HALLELUJAH!

Saints, please continue to pray for us.  This is certainly a process, but I love Jesus and plan to stay on this course of liberty and freedom.

I love you and thank you so very, very much!

I love Jesus, DON'T YOU???

[David Dupree]

Wow!  I had been so involved with other things, I missed this thread.  But I am so glad that I read through it this morning.  Breathed, I am so sorry that you have had to go through all you have had to go through.  What a shame.  But you have been given some excellent advice all the way through.  I am so glad that you got the strength and fortitude to leave. 

I have come to understand a different take on the scripture, "woe unto you who are at ease in Zion." (Amos 6:1) I used to believe that it just was for those "pew sitters" who were not involved in "church work."  But I now understand that it also means those who work hard in church and have gotten comfortable in the branch of Zion and therefore sometimes have to be like the baby bird..pushed out of the nest.  Well, Breathed, take this as a Word from the Lord: for you to go to your next level of ministry, you have to be in a place that will take, push, prod, encourage, stimulate you into that next level.  And it is not that the next "place" will be more spiritually "wonderful" than the previous, but it will be that the areas for your growth will be allowed to flourish. 

You see, oftentimes, our working our ministry talents overshadows the development (and use) of our ministry gifts.     I hope that makes sense to you. 

I will encourage all those who have posted in this thread to intercede on behalf of the church Breathed left--for the sake of the sheep, and the pastors. 

As I referenced the scripture above, I looked at some other "woeful" scriptures:


Isaiah 5:21
Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight! 

Isaiah 10:1
Woe unto them that decree unrighteous decrees, and that write grievousness which they have prescribed;


Jeremiah 23:1
Woe be unto the pastors that destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture! saith the LORD.

Ezekiel 13:3
Thus saith the Lord GOD; Woe unto the foolish prophets, that follow their own spirit, and have seen nothing!

Matthew 23:13
But woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye shut up the kingdom of heaven against men: for ye neither go in yourselves, neither suffer ye them that are entering to go in.

Ezekiel 34:2
Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel, prophesy, and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD unto the shepherds; Woe be to the shepherds of Israel that do feed themselves! should not the shepherds feed the flocks?

Unlike God, if I were to decree something falsely, it does not automatically become true.  Sure, I do believe there is a return to the prophetic of old where prophets will begin to speak as Elijah, Ezekiel, Moses and others, but all that has to be in context with the Word of God and in cooperation with the plan the Holy Spirit is carrying out in the earth.  If not, then you would have prophet A speaking to stop rain, prophet B speaking to make it rain and prophet C decreeing that prophets A and B hold their peace.  :-)  What a mess!  It is true we don't know how to pray as we ought which is why we have to allow the Holy Spirit to make intercession for us, so we don't pray amiss. 
Well, I have gotten totally off track now. hahaha  Guess I better end this here. :-)

dd

p.s.  a word about that Matt 23:13.  We are in a situation where I believe we are living under an "open" heaven.  Whatsoever we bind on earth is bound in heaven.  What we loose on earth is loosed in heaven.  Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. So Jesus says woe to those folk who close heaven off to people trying to experience heaven on earth.  God desires us to "tap in" to the Glory, now.  We have to get in His presence.  "Oh for a closer walk with God."

dd

[Breathedonme]

OH MYYY! ! ! !  AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!

I love God for He provides what we need.  Thank you and God bless you.

There are times when I feel like I've wasted so much time as I am older now.  However, remember how old Moses was before he started out? ? ?  LOL.

This is definitely a process.  Thank you for praying for my former Bishop and Pastor.  He truly has powerful potential and can blow the gates of hell wide open, if he can stay focused.  His wife, the Pastor, is an anointed prayer vessel whom I love dearly and it was my good pleasure and honor to serve this humble servant of God.

I don't think she would have gone through my daughter's medical records unless she was MADE to do so.  God bless them both.  I love them dearly.

Thanks again!

God bless!