This isn't even funny

[1EagleSky]

Recently, one of my sister's friends shared the experience she had when she went to what I would call a very "ultra traditional" Pentecostal church.

The minute she walked into the foyer, one of the female church greeters handed her a moist towelette. My sister's friend asked her what was she supposed to do with that. The woman replied: "You're wearing makeup and nail polish. That's to take the nail polish and makeup off." She thought it was odd, so she used the moist towelette to remove her makeup, lipstick, and nail polish. After doing this, she was about to walk ahead towards the doors leading to the sanctuary, when she was stopped again by the same church greeter. The church greeter looked her up and down, then gave her a sheet. My sister's friend was really puzzled now! "What am I supposed to do with this sheet?" she asked. The church greeter replied, "Well sister, your skirt hem is just touching your knees, and when you sit down, your knees will be showing, so we want you to cover yourself."

With that, my sister's friend says, "Ma'am, I don't think this is the right church for me," and went right out the door!

I can relate to this, because the church I attended while growing up had similar rules written into their church doctrine.

Unless one is dressed so scantily that people both in and outside the church are giving you odd looks, I feel this is really ridiculous, but it does raise an interesting point as it relates to dating relationships.

I feel that men and women should do their best to look as nice as possible. It should be no great mystery why some Christian men and women are unable to attract dates---especially when the women look plain and dowdy, and the men look old and dumpy. I think extreme teachings that some churches hold about not enhancing your natural beauty go too far. Young men should look like young men. Young women should look like young women. I've seen too many that look like senior citizens (no offense to our senior population, but you get my point). There is nothing wrong with wearing fashions of the day, providing they are modest.

[Xanadu012]

I must admit that although I came from a very traditional and Conservative background as a Christian I've never experienced anything of this nature.  I still know women my own age who continue to dress "much older" than they really are, because of this type of teaching.  One can only wonder how much of this is religion and how much is scripture?  I say this, because there is a wholeness and a shedding away that takes places once we begin to read the Word of God for ourselves.  Our eyes and understanding are soon opened.  I pray that this happens to the many that are currently in this predicament.

[Beanie3]

Wow. That's all I could say. That's sad. It just seems like that church is very legalistic. After all, It's not lipstick and nail polish that cause a person to stumble.

Matthew 15:17-19 (New International Version)


   
17"Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? 18But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' 19For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.

So, really a bit of color is not what the issue is, I think. I agree with you. Nothing distracting needs to be worn, but just like people we go overboard.

[Novelist]

I attend a Pentecostal Church and sometimes I feel like they have rules similar to what you mentioned, but not as worst.  Most women at my church dress stylish and glamourous, but there are some restrictions to whether or not you are sitting on the front pew, you would need a long dress or skirt, or sometimes in the choir, you cannot wear outrageous earrings or make-up, but you can still look beautiful.  Also, they talk about wearing long or short sleeve shirts or wearing panty hose with everything.  For instance, my Grandmother was always on my cousin and I about pantyhose and wearing long sleeve shirts.  It never ended, but after while, she slowed down a little because we were not going to walk in church looking inappropriate, we just wanted to dress the way we wanted without missionaries and mothers in our face about everything we are doing instead of looking at our hearts.  I guess that is why we are not close to to being like God in some ways because he is always looking at our hearts, not what we are wearing.  Our make-up does not take away our foundation in Christ or the clothes we wear does not exclude us from being worshippers.  I think sometimes people are taking it too far because they are caught up in traditional church when the times have changed.  Not to rule out some of those traditions, but they have to do things in moderation a little. 

Of course you have to be presentable everywhere you go, but just because you wear a little lipstick or your skirt is to your knees does not give them a right to approach people like that.  Judging others like that is not welcoming them in the church.  That person could have been a sinner and depending on how they receive messages from people, it could have discouraged them from coming back.

[David Dupree]

Hi all. 

   Nov, I think you may be missing part of the point of it all.  Oftimes the mothers in church instruct, but they don't teach.  Therefore you get the "rule" without what goes behind the rule.

  If you recall, Jesus said the second greatest commandment is to love your neighbor as you love yourself. (Mark 12:38-40)  Of course the first commandment is to love God with all your heart soul mind.  When you do that, hopefully, your focus becomes, not what I look like, but how my neighbor feels about how I look.  In other words, if what you wear is going to cause your neighbor/sister/brother (especially us brethren...teehee) to be distracted from their worship or to fall-even if it isn't with you-then you should reconsider what you are wearing.  (see Heb 10:24)
If you esteem/consider others more than yourself, (Phil 2:3) then you will know that shunning the appearance of evil goes beyond being seen in the wrong place.  It can even mean being seen in the wrong thing.  Scripture also tells us if the eye offends you then pluck it out.  (Matt. 5:29) We are all one body.  What you wear could be that eye.  Somebody -- those mothers--could really be trying to help you out, but moreso, helping the body out.  It is about the body, the Kingdom; not about individual comforts.  When you make it about you, you foster a spirit of selfishness and division. 

When you become born again, the mind is new. But it isn't renewed overnight.  You are transformed by the renewing of your mind--not of God renewing your mind. (Rom. 12:2)  Part of that renewal is to realize that the way you dressed before being B.A. may not be the way you should dress after B.A. Sure you come to Christ just as you are...you just don't stay that way.  Proverbs tell us that there is a way that seems right to a man/woman but the end thereof is destruction. (Prov. 16:25)

Back to 1eaglesky:
  Yes, folks do take certain things to the extreme that have little if not any basis in scripture.  And to impose those "ideals" on nonmembers is a matter of their denominational preference.   Sure certain themes seem to be a bit over the top for some.  But that is their choice.  This is not scripture, but there is a place for the "when in Rome, do as the Romans" concept.

But concerning the looking good while dating issue you raised, I agree with that.  But looking good does not mean that everything has to be hanging out.  And just because things are covered does not mean that you look grannyish and old fashioned.  That goes for men too.  No need to be on a date with pants so tight that expose a print and outline so as to spark the imagination. As bloodwashed believers, modesty is still the order of the day.  On dates etc, one must still consider his brother or sister so as not to entice and/or cause one to fall-even if it is only in the mind. 

dd

[hisworddelivers]

Loving your neighbor as you love yourself has nothing to do with "how my neighbor feels about how I look". 


The mother was in error.  She did not know this woman and although it may be church policies to behave like that, I wouldn't feel any love at all if I had been approach like that.  If this has to be a policy at that church then there should be seperate policies for first time visitors.

Many years ago I was in a church that didn't wear pants, makeup, the color red, our head had to be covered and we had to wear our dresses ankle lenght.  I went along with that because I submitted myself to that teaching.

As time progress and I learned more about God, I noticed that there was a lot of envy, jealousy, adultry, fornication among the leaders.  The body as a whole was extremely judgmental.

Let's consider that the love Jesus has for us has nothing to do with what we wear, makeup, etc.  But everything to do with reconcilation and being used by Him for example, Rahab just to name one.  She did not have to look a certain way to be used by God.

After 30 years on this journey I have been to both extremes and what I have learned is that if the relationship with Christ is not allowed to grow and mature in the most intimate way we will be toss about by every wind of doctrine.

I know that over the course of time we all may have thought we have the best interpertation of the Master's words as it applies to any given subject.  I surely have.  However after many years when I ponder his word and his purpose I have learn not to assume I can apply any scripture to just any given situation unless specifically directed by the Holy Spirit. 

The most glorious revelation that I have received regarding God's Word is that  he Holy Spirit that reveals the word to us.

It amazes me that even after 30 years this debate still exists.  With the present state of the world, in my opinion, this is of no consequence. 

After Katrina, when I was struggling and needing all kinds of help, it mattered less to me what that person was wearing when they handed me a bag of grocery or a gas card or a walmart card, etc.  I needed compassion, kindness and a demonstrative show of love.

peace