Men, Women, and visions

[1EagleSky]

 In the Single Christian community, there have been debates on whether God reveals to men and women who their wife/husband is. It seems to me that most men (except a rare few) feel that to believe God will reveal who your spouse is is foolishness, and that the woman or man probably had romantic feelings for the person "God" allegedly revealed to them in a vision anyhow. Many women, I've observed, do not believe like the men---they believe it when they have a dream at night or an open vision or a prophecy spoken over them in which God reveals a man to them that is to be their husband.

For a long time, I was of the mindset that as long as the person was a Christian, seemed Godly, and attractive, that was the main thing that was important. I never gave any thought to 'Well, maybe I should pray about whether or not I should date this person.' It was years later that God, during a time of prayer and meditation told me to trust Him to bring the person He has for me into my life. This went totally contrary to my standard way of doing things. I shared what God had revealed to me with a male friend, also a very strong believer in the Lord. Do you know what he said?

He said:

"It sounds like you are getting more into popular preacher rhetoric than actual Biblical promises. There are no Scriptures that say God will lead you to or has a specific person for you to date or marry. Also, just because a person is a Christian doesn't mean they are acceptable for a relationship."

I was mad! First off, it was God Himself, and not some "popular preacher rhetoric" Who told me that was the pattern I should follow in my life as it relates to marriage. Also, he sounded so condescending. He just automatically assumed I got that line of reasoning from watching/listening to the sermon of some well known TV/radio minister. He himself at one time in his life believed the same thing (that one should trust God for guidance on who to date or marry), but he has since changed, and I'm not sure exactly what changed his mind.

I've always been curious to know why when it comes to certain things, it seems like men don't want to trust God's guidance or judgement in the matter.

PS: David Dupree, I did not find my license and as of yet, it hasn't been mailed to me, but I was able to get a replacement for only $5.00 (about 50% less than what you'd said  I'd written in some time ago about losing my license one afternoon as I was coming home from work. I just had to share that bit of info.

[David Dupree]

Hi 1Eaglesky!!

I invite you to read, if you haven't already, a past discussion concerning this particular issue.  Although it doesn't quite cover the question you pose, I believe it will be of interest to you. 

http://www.deepwaters.info/forum/index.php?topic=39.0


As to the question why brothers won't believe the same way women do for a mate?  Hmmmm....good question.  I know I was believing, praying etc.  I know some of my friends did the same.  But most of my buds just "happened" upon their spouse.   Maybe more on this later.   


dd

p.s.  glad you got your license for the $5. 

[Forum Administrator]

Hi 1EagleSky. I'll (try) to keep my response brief. Proverbs 3:5,6 tells us that we should trust in the Lord, not lean on our own understanding, acknowledge God in all our ways and if we do these things, the promise is that God will give us the direction we need so that we not bumping our heads going around the curves or up and down on (emotional) roller coaster rides. (I paraphrased the last bit  ).

When Samuel, a prophet of God who heard from God on a regular basis, went to select a leader for the people, he chose wrongly -- by appearance. God had to caution Samuel that we (human beings) look at the outward appearance when we are making our choices, but He (God) looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). In this instance, God had rejected the choice made by the "mand"  of God (Samuel). (Can someone please tell me why on earth we keep saying "mand" of God??  )This account (of Samuel's choosing and God's rejection) should speak volumes to us.

Not many of us can make the same claims as Samuel: he was a prophet; he was a true servant of God; he served in the house of the Lord since he was a young child; he knew the Voice of the Lord and heard from Him on a regular basis. Yet, in spite of all of this, Samuel made the wrong choice! Why? Because he made his choice based on outward appearances (something that God says we are all prone to do).

Any information that is given to us by another person (unless they are truly speaking as God's spokesperson) is outward appearance. Any information that is communicated to us via our physical senses is "outward appearance." If you can see it (with the natural eye), hear it (with the natural ear), smell it, taste it, touch it, it's outward appearance. Only God can see and reveal the heart of a person.

In light of all of this, it makes absolute good sense, and God has furthermore given us instruction on this, for us to should seek the Lord's counsel when making decisions, and that includes the decision of who to get involved in relationship with. God even goes further and tells us that we should seek His direction in all our ways. I don't see any rhetoric in that. 

(So much for brevity.  )

[bishopbiscuits]

.........I believe that God can and does give revelation in this area. The question from  God might be, "Who has ears to hear?"
..........Sometimes we confine God to areas of our lives that have to do with morality and outer works. Perhaps because we can appreciate these aspects of Christianity more readily, and these are also recognised more easily by other people.
..........God wants to minister to and through the whole life of all who receive Him. He will not force His will upon us, but we can seek it out.
....... But how many "grown folk" will choose to have the patience to seek God? How many people have had enough people in their personal business, and treat the idea of God's input as an intrusion into an area of life that they want to run themselves?
...........For some, seeking God may seem too vague a proposition.  "Huh? Ask God? Aww come on!" Like it's a punishment, to be avoided like waiting in a long line.

Isaiah 40:31 - But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

...........No, God's answer won't take 10 billion years, but to sincerely ask the question, means that one is prepared to accept the answer, "Yes" or "No" or "Wait."
........Being willing to trust Him in this area may be easier for some and harder for others.

...........God told me years ago that He would not allow me to pursue a wife until my intimacy with Him was firmly established. He told me this because He knew that I needed to be secure in Him first, and in the process, He would work some things out in me. After this refining work was done, I would be better prepared to meet the challenges that would come . And as a warning against starting selfishly motivated relationships, that the promise could be compromised
..........I accepted humbly this message from His Spirit to my spirit, because I wanted to honor Him, honor myself, and be prepared to honor another. I am thankful right now for some things that He is working out of my life that I would not want to bring into a marriage. Also that He is working into my life what I need to be complete in Him.
..........He knew my heart and the battles that I would have to fight and be able to win. He has brought me from a long way, and I am so glad that He spoke to me.
...........Knowing that I had a work to be done in me helped me temper any desires that I have had of premature intimate pursuit. Such a simple, powerful Word from God kept me focused enough to withstand selfish persuasions and motivations. Avoiding settting unnecessary traps for my future, by being impatient and indulgent.

Galatians 6:9 - And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

James1:3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. 4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

......... I want the best relationship , and I have trusted through the years that He will reveal my wife when it is time. Since I plan to marry only once to one woman, I want His input for sure.   
.........In the meantime, because I trust Him and have witnessed His work in my life, I am able to be happy and single. I am learning from my marriage to Christ, that my future one will be better for each lesson.

[Beanie3]

Just reading these responses bless me so much!
There is a man in my life that I care for a lot, but maybe I want to be with him for the wrong reasons. People swirl speech around me, telling me he likes me in a romantic way, but I don't want to heed to that.

Thanks. I just think I'll wait for God to tell me what's up.